DEAR ABBY: Homecoming is next month, and we are not allowed to take outside dates. My girlfriend goes to a different school and doesn't want me taking anyone else. My school is very small (only 60 kids in the whole high school) and not asking a girl to the dance is frowned upon. It's the custom to ask one of your classmates to homecoming.

My girlfriend grew up in a bigger school where homecoming is much more important. She's convinced I'm going to be someone else's Prince Charming for the night. What she can't understand is that it's nothing like that where I go. Taking someone to the dance at my school isn't romantic -- it's a gentlemanly thing to do. You pick any girl who hasn't been asked and go with her.

I'd like to ask someone -- as friends only -- to the homecoming dance, but my girlfriend gets incredibly upset when I talk about it. Please tell me what to do. -- ONLY A DANCE IN TEXAS

DEAR ONLY A DANCE: Your girlfriend needs to be less controlling and more understanding. You have already explained that not taking someone to the homecoming dance is frowned upon in your community. So what if you are "someone else's Prince Charming" for one evening? Your girlfriend can't attend, so why not be a good sport and let you make someone happy for one night? What you should do is go to the dance and, if your girlfriend still doesn't understand, ask your mother to explain it to her "woman to woman."

DEAR ABBY: I live in a duplex, and my neighbor has a cat I'll call "Sox" that's positive for feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV). I'm a cat lover with a kitty of my own.

To prevent the spread of infection, FIV cats are never supposed to be allowed outside, but my neighbor lets Sox come and go as he pleases. Abby, he comes to our house and uses our cat door to access our cat food and water bowl. I know Sox is at times left without food and water, so I'm reluctant to restrict his access to our food, but my cat has picked up respiratory infections because Sox contaminated the bowl. I also have to get my cat tested for FIV during his annual exams, at an added cost of $60.

My question: Would it be fair of me to request that my neighbor pay for some or all of the extra expenses associated with treatment and testing due to the FIV exposure? I have asked if she could offer Sox my brand of kibble at her house so he'll be less interested in coming to our house unless he really needs food or water. She refused. I'm not sure if I'm asking too much, or if I should expect her to work with me to help offset the costs of her free-roaming, FIV-infected kitty. -- FELINE CARE

DEAR FELINE: Under the circumstances, I don't think it's unfair to ask your irresponsible neighbor to cooperate with you on this. However, if she wouldn't spring for something as simple as the kibble, don't hold your breath.

The solution to your problem is to make Sox's access to your home impossible by securing the cat door. And if her cat is mingling with and possibly infecting other cats in the neighborhood, call Animal Control and report it.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 years older than my boyfriend, "Spencer," and have two kids from a previous marriage. Spencer and I have been living together for the past 10 years.

I planned to have his child, but was involved in an accident and now can no longer have kids. He blames me nearly every day for having "experienced life" while he hasn't. He wants kids, and mine are mine -- not his. He calls me ugly names now and is physically and emotionally abusive.

I love Spencer very much, and I feel deeply hurt. It wasn't my choice to be infertile, but he truly hates me for it. I get choked and pushed and have bruises the next day. Do I just give up and leave him after so many years of harmony?

This has only gotten extremely bad over the past year. My gut says he's involved with a girl at work who is giving him bad advice. She's 12 years younger than he is. I have caught them texting and talking together in our car at his job. Please help me with some advice. -- LOST SOUL IN OREGON

DEAR LOST SOUL: I'll try. You should have drawn the line the first time Spencer became abusive. For the sake of your children -- not to mention your own safety -- tell him he has to leave. That's what he's really trying to do, force you to end what has become a toxic relationship so he won't have to take the responsibility. Because his priority is having children "of his own," he needs to move on and, frankly, so do you.

DEAR ABBY: I am not one of those fit, active, socially involved and sexy senior citizens. I had a hard childhood, was a busy wife and mother and, for decades, worked at jobs I hated. I spent years longing for the day when I could retire and read, read, read without feeling guilty about taking time for myself.

Now that I'm retired, my baby boomer cohort seems to feel we seniors should all be wonder women and men. Worse, my millennial children seem to agree. Is there a succinct and polite way to tell them all to go take a flying leap? I'm perfectly OK with being fat, happy and a source of entertainment for my grandchildren, who are -- fortunately -- too small to be judgmental. -- OLD-FASHIONED IN OHIO

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: Those who appear to be nagging you are well-intentioned and concerned about you. So be polite and smile when you respond that you know they mean well, but you have worked long and hard to finally be able to do exactly what you want to do -- which is nothing but read, read, read and enjoy your grandchildren.

That said, a person does not have to be Wonder Woman or Superman to devote half an hour five days a week to her or his health by walking. You could listen to an audiobook while you do it. In addition, you could also do something fun with your grandkids that incorporates a little bit of movement for all of you. Just sayin'.

DEAR ABBY: My brother and his girlfriend live together. One day I heard his ex-girlfriend had passed away suddenly, so I told him because I thought he should know. Well! His girlfriend messaged me and told me to mind my own business and stay away from my brother. She's very jealous, and she lets it show. They aren't engaged or married.

What was wrong with my telling him before he read it in the news? Other people have told me I didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend said the same thing. She has now threatened my relationship with them. -- JUST LETTING HIM KNOW

DEAR JUST: There was absolutely nothing wrong with giving your brother the sad news. As your brother's sibling, if you feel there is anything he needs to know, you should say it. His girlfriend appears to be pathologically controlling. Do not "stay away" from him. The next time you talk with him, tell him what she said and point out that her attitude isn't healthy for any of you.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is a survivor of breast cancer. She had a single mastectomy and wears a sports bra these days. When I asked her if she was going to get a prosthetic, she told me she doesn't care.

Recently I met a survivor who was giving away her prosthetics, and she ended up giving them to me to give to my sister. I don't think my sister needs to have a prosthetic. I just thought it would be nice for the days she did decide she'd like one.

My question is, how do I tenderly give her the gift without her thinking I think she needs it? Or should I not give it to her at all? -- UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNSURE: Not knowing your sister, I can't predict how she may react. However, the prudent way to go about it would be to mention to her that you encountered a survivor who no longer needs her prosthetic and ask if she might like to have it in her drawer. If she refuses, let it go and don't raise the subject again.

DEAR ABBY: I have provided pastoral counseling for 25 years. When an old friend mentioned that she was out of work and couldn't pay her mortgage, I emailed her a few job notices. In addition, I offered some suggestions about how she could earn some income, such as teaching private golf lessons or holding an indoor yard sale.

I also gave her phone numbers for the Land Loss Prevention Project and the phone number of a bankruptcy firm. She scoffed at my suggestion of bankruptcy protection to save her home. I am perplexed. Abby, what would make a person in need say "Bankruptcy! Really?" and stop speaking to me? -- PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your old friend may have been put off or frightened when you used the word "bankruptcy." Or, she may have been expecting you to rescue her by offering her a loan instead of ways to help herself.