DEAR ABBY: My brother and his girlfriend live together. One day I heard his ex-girlfriend had passed away suddenly, so I told him because I thought he should know. Well! His girlfriend messaged me and told me to mind my own business and stay away from my brother. She's very jealous, and she lets it show. They aren't engaged or married.

What was wrong with my telling him before he read it in the news? Other people have told me I didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend said the same thing. She has now threatened my relationship with them. -- JUST LETTING HIM KNOW

DEAR JUST: There was absolutely nothing wrong with giving your brother the sad news. As your brother's sibling, if you feel there is anything he needs to know, you should say it. His girlfriend appears to be pathologically controlling. Do not "stay away" from him. The next time you talk with him, tell him what she said and point out that her attitude isn't healthy for any of you.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is a survivor of breast cancer. She had a single mastectomy and wears a sports bra these days. When I asked her if she was going to get a prosthetic, she told me she doesn't care.

Recently I met a survivor who was giving away her prosthetics, and she ended up giving them to me to give to my sister. I don't think my sister needs to have a prosthetic. I just thought it would be nice for the days she did decide she'd like one.

My question is, how do I tenderly give her the gift without her thinking I think she needs it? Or should I not give it to her at all? -- UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNSURE: Not knowing your sister, I can't predict how she may react. However, the prudent way to go about it would be to mention to her that you encountered a survivor who no longer needs her prosthetic and ask if she might like to have it in her drawer. If she refuses, let it go and don't raise the subject again.

DEAR ABBY: I have provided pastoral counseling for 25 years. When an old friend mentioned that she was out of work and couldn't pay her mortgage, I emailed her a few job notices. In addition, I offered some suggestions about how she could earn some income, such as teaching private golf lessons or holding an indoor yard sale.

I also gave her phone numbers for the Land Loss Prevention Project and the phone number of a bankruptcy firm. She scoffed at my suggestion of bankruptcy protection to save her home. I am perplexed. Abby, what would make a person in need say "Bankruptcy! Really?" and stop speaking to me? -- PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your old friend may have been put off or frightened when you used the word "bankruptcy." Or, she may have been expecting you to rescue her by offering her a loan instead of ways to help herself.

DEAR ABBY: A close relative has started working in the adult industry. She now dresses provocatively, showing lots of skin. She has also covered much of her body with tattoos and adopted the lifestyle of someone in that field. Our family assumes she's "going through a phase" and has no idea what she's really up to.

I have two small children I don't really want around her, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I don't want to tell her mom what she's really doing, but at the same time, I don't want my kids thinking that's how people in society are. Please help. -- NERVOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR NERVOUS: If you no longer want to be around this person, no law says you have to be. If your relatives ask you about your absence, tell them the reason. If they don't, don't tattle. This isn't an emergency; rest assured her parents will find out eventually.

As to her being a bad influence on your children, take this as an opportunity for a teachable moment about people coming in "different packaging" and not judging a book by its cover.

DEAR ABBY: I'm confused and not sure what to do. I'm a 32-year-old single mom who is a hopeless romantic. I've been seeing someone for six months. He is already talking about marriage and a happily ever after, which I am ready for.

The downside is, not long after we started dating, I met someone who makes me question everything. He's someone I can't actually be with because -- yes, he's married. I'm disgusted with myself for allowing this to happen, but the minute our eyes met, my heart skipped a beat.

What I'm asking is, do I settle for the guy I've been dating because that's what I'm ready for? He's a great guy who cares a lot about my daughter and me. I can be a faithful and loving wife, which he wants. Or should I let him go because my heart truly isn't there? Please help me, even though I don't deserve it. -- SETTLING DOUBTS

DEAR SETTLING: Warning: Heartbreak ahead. Although you say you are ready for marriage and happily ever after, I don't think it's true. I can't warn you strongly enough not to marry one man while in your heart you yearn for someone else. It's a recipe for disaster, and the collateral damage will be not only Mr. Six Months but also your child.

DEAR ABBY: I received a drunken text from my son's friend telling me my son is gay. It rambled on about their relationship. I decided not to question my son about it because, if it is true, it won't change our relationship. It really doesn't matter to me. They live in another state.

This is a dilemma because I worry about this "friend" not being trustworthy. Is this my business? Should I tell my son? What if he gets upset? -- TAKEN ABACK

DEAR TAKEN: You should absolutely have a talk with your son about the text you received. Ask him if what the friend said is true, and if it is, why you didn't hear it from him. Don't be angry or accusatory. Just be sure to assure him how much you love him and that your feelings for him have not changed. He may need to hear you verbalize it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has less and less interest in me. It started with the last presidential election. Since then, I have cut way back on politics because he doesn't want to hear any of it. Being an activist on several fronts, including politics and other areas, this is a big, emotional part of who I am. I get so upset by his silences that I stop talking to him completely.

I'm spent from feeling so lonely, so unworthy of love, helpless, hopeless and powerless. I can't take this much longer. He says he wants to be with me, and he has just started private therapy. I, too, am in therapy.

I was ready to draw up divorce papers when I suddenly changed my mind. I told him I'd wait a year for him to have his therapy, and then we'd review everything we had learned and proceed from there.

Have I made a mistake? Right now, I can't stand to be around him. He can be the world's greatest giver, but other times he's a selfish, insensitive, arrogant know-it-all. I don't know if I'm still in love with him. Does this proposed one-year respite have any chance of working? -- SAD WIFE IN BUFFALO

DEAR WIFE: Yes, it does. It appears that in the midst of your pain and turmoil you experienced a brief moment of clarity. Your decision to give your husband -- and yourself -- a year of therapy and then revisit the issue of divorce was both wise and brilliant. You married each other for a reason; now give yourselves a chance to remember what it was.

DEAR ABBY: New neighbors moved in a few doors down from us. A few weeks later, they hosted an open house and invited about 15 families from the homes closest to theirs. They served food and graciously gave everyone a tour of the home, which had been completely renovated.

My husband and I arrived about the same time as another neighbor, and the three of us visited with our hostess. As she rolled out the red carpet, the other neighbor proceeded to talk about the history of the home -- who had lived there and what the house had been like when she visited there as a friend of the previous owners.

She then announced that the man who owned the home years ago had committed suicide -- in the home. The hostess maintained a gracious stance, but my husband and I were horrified. Should the neighbor be told that her comment was inappropriate? -- HORRIFIED IN THE EAST

DEAR HORRIFIED: Because the comment may have cast a pall over the housewarming, it was inappropriate. However, it may not have come as a complete surprise to the new owners. In the state where I reside, real estate agents are required by law to disclose that there had been a death in the house (suicide, murder), which might affect the value of the property. If you feel the need to say something to the neighbor who made that tasteless comment, by all means do so.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, begins at sundown. During this 24-hour period, observant Jewish people fast, engage in reflection and prayer, and formally repent for any sin that might have been committed during the previous Hebrew year. To all of you -- may your fast be an easy, but meaningful, one.