DEAR ABBY: My daughter has decided to leave her husband. They have been married for 20 years. She says she hasn't been happy for several years and that it's time to take care of herself. She won't be able to support herself and the children, but she doesn't seem able to grasp that reality. When I voice my concerns, she gets angry with me. She's determined to go forward with this separation and says her kids will be "fine." I say that's bull! She has also embraced an exercise and eating plan that seems radical to me and has a life coach who is also a psychic. I think she's having a midlife crisis.

If it weren't for what this is going to do to my grandchildren, I'd keep my mouth shut, but I'm sick with worry. Her siblings think she has lost her mind, so she has pretty much cut herself off from the family. When she became frustrated because she wasn't able to qualify for a house she wanted to rent, she lashed out at me. I'm waiting for an apology, but I'm realistic that I'll probably never get one. I feel like I'm in mourning over the loss of this child. What do I do? -- SHAKEN UP IN TEXAS

DEAR SHAKEN UP: Your daughter is an adult. By now you must have realized you can no longer control her behavior. For the sake of your own mental health, accept that she's going to make her own mistakes. Do not accept financial responsibility for your daughter. Be as supportive of your grandchildren as you can be, because at some point you may have to take them in.

As for her "psychic life coach," you should know that unlike physicians, psychologists and social workers, life coaches do not belong to any organization that requires them to adhere to ethical standards. Your daughter should be made aware that there may be some risk involved in placing her future in that person's hands.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend and I decided to visit our old friend, "Carol," who has been in an assisted living facility for a year. Carol has some dementia, but we took her -- arm in arm -- to a pizza restaurant at our mall. After we were seated and browsing the menu, a very handsome gentleman approached our table. He said we reminded him of his mother and insisted on treating us to dinner. We thanked him, he laid down a $100 bill and disappeared. We enjoyed a great dinner and left the change ($35) for the server. We would like to thank that nice gentleman again. He made our day. -- GRATEFUL IN GEORGIA

DEAR GRATEFUL: Your letter made my day. Occasionally, I print letters about acts of kindness, and yours definitely qualifies. You and your friend were performing a good deed by taking your friend for lunch, and it was paid forward in record time. It's nice knowing there are good people out there. Thank you for sharing.

DEAR ABBY: About 20 months ago, after I found out I was pregnant, I was abandoned by the father of my child. My mother had passed away a month before. So I was grieving, shocked to discover I was pregnant and devastated when I was left for another woman. I went through my pregnancy alone, gave birth alone and am now a single mother.

While my child and I are blessed -- I have a good job, Momma left me some money that has helped me buy a home, and my friends are supportive -- my heart is broken.

My son's father pays child support, but his priority is the woman he left us for. Everyone tells me I need to be the bigger person, accept the situation and give my son a chance to know his father. I understand all of that, but I am so angry. I feel rejected and debased. I cry all the time. I try to keep a positive face for my son, but sometimes I break down. My son's father and his lady make fun of me and flaunt how happy they are together while I am alone raising my child. The woman enjoys pointing out how hard I have it and how alone I am.

My son is my joy and I love him dearly, but why am I not allowed to be angry at his father and that woman? Why must I be the one who accepts the hurt and difficulty, while my son's father and his lady have their cake and eat it, too? I would really appreciate your thoughts. -- HURT MOMMA IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT MOMMA: While you have every right to be angry, has it occurred to you that you may not only be grieving for your mother, but possibly be suffering from postpartum depression as well? Discuss this with your doctor and ask to have your hormone levels checked. It might also benefit you to join a grief support group.

Your ex-boyfriend and his "lady" may appear to have their cake and eat it, too, but it's not true. They have each other, and both of them appear to be miserable people. For the sake of yourself and your son, please stop allowing them to make you miserable, too. You have your beautiful child, and endless possibilities lie ahead if you will open yourself to them. If necessary, find a licensed therapist to help you let go of the negative and get your priorities straight again. Once you succeed in doing this, you'll be fine.

DEAR ABBY: We used to display a wide variety of family pictures on our living room walls. Before repainting, we took them down. Because some of them include our children's former and current relationships, we can't decide which ones we can comfortably "redisplay" without offending anybody.

We have remained on good terms with former in-laws and the children from prior relationships, but the "new" and the "old" never speak of each other, much less enjoy seeing pictorial reminders hanging in our home. Some of our grandchildren are blood relatives; others are not. Our children have moved on to other relationships. This is our home, but we don't want to offend any of the people we welcome into it. Any advice? -- PICTURING IT IN ARIZONA

DEAR PICTURING IT: You are a sweet and sensitive person. Talk to your children. Ask how they and their children would feel if you "edit" the collection, and which ones they would prefer you retire. And be sure to offer the outtakes to them rather than toss them.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my son and his family moved a couple of hours away. He's my only child. I know he's busy with his wife, two children and his job, but I would like to hear from him more than every two weeks -- or longer -- just to know what is going on in their lives. He told me I could call him, but I feel like I'm imposing. I'd like to be more involved in their lives. I would also like to be closer to my daughter-in-law. We have had a couple of good phone conversations recently, but I sense that she wants her own space.

I'm not an overbearing person, and I'm working on expectations vs. reality, being overly emotional when my expectations are not met and fear of sharing these emotions because I'm afraid my son and his wife won't like what I have to say. I feel they have been pushing me away.

What can I do, other than wait for them to call and work on how not to get upset when they don't include me? They have let the grandchildren stay with me a couple of weeks at different times over the summer. I'm trying to do things with friends, but I really prefer being around my son and family because I feel happier (or used to). It has been heartbreaking. -- WORKING ON IT

DEAR WORKING ON IT: Your son has told you it's all right to call him, so you should. Because of the blessing of modern technology, there are other options as well -- texting, video chat, etc. If you are unfamiliar with them, make it a point to learn. Be grateful your son and his family are independent, and try harder to fill more of your time with hobbies and interests of your own. If you do, you will be a more interesting person to be around. Your son and his wife should not be the focus of your life the way he was when he was a child and you were responsible for him. It isn't healthy for you or your relationship with them.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are in our late 20s and get into arguments about what time to leave a party. I usually need to leave around 11:00 p.m. or midnight, and I think he should leave when I do.

I'm a full-time student with a full-time job, so I don't go out often. Between school and work, I don't have weekends off like he does. He accuses me of being selfish for wanting him to leave. He says he doesn't want to be "lame." I don't think it's appropriate for a woman to leave a party on her own. Am I selfish? Should I try to stay up later so he can have a good time? -- PARTY ETIQUETTE

DEAR PARTY ETIQUETTE: No, your job and your studies have to be your top priority. Years ago, I would have agreed that your fiance should leave with you. However, these days, women are more independent. Cellphones and ride-sharing have given us other options. Unless you are concerned that leaving alone would be dangerous, don't turn it into an argument if he wants to stay.