DEAR ABBY: I am in a long-distance relationship. I live in Kansas; he's in Michigan. Because we are 720 miles apart, phone calls, text messages and Skype are vital to the health of our relationship. I make it a priority to text or call "Good morning" or "Goodnight." Unlike me, sometimes he's consistent and sometimes not, especially on weekends. He says he falls asleep, but it continues to happen, and I'm getting tired and frustrated about not being a priority.

I have been as patient and nice as I can be, as well as continuing to tell him how much I love him and want our relationship to work. I would love to hear your advice. -- FAITHFUL BUT FRUSTRATED GIRLFRIEND

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: I know you love this man, but take a step back. You may be smothering him. Stop doing all the work in maintaining the romance and give him some space. If you do, he may realize he needs to step up and devote more energy to your relationship. Communication has to be voluntary, not mandatory. If you continue to pursue him the way you have been, you won't draw him closer; you will drive him further away.

DEAR ABBY: My father is nearing the end of his life. I'm an only child with no family nearby. When my mother passed away, many people reached out to me, and I know their intent was to comfort me. However, most of the time I ended up comforting them! I would try to escape by saying things like I had a task to take care of, but when people are crying hysterically on the phone or in my kitchen, they don't seem to hear. How can I politely tell people like this that I'm not their therapist, and they are not comforting me? -- TAKING CARE OF DAD

DEAR TAKING CARE: All you need to say is you can't talk right now, and you will call them back later. Period. Then hang up. If someone is having an emotional meltdown in your kitchen, you have the right to tell the person you can't deal with it right now, you'll visit with her -- or him -- "another time," and guide them to the door.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has read your column for more than 40 years and have often thought your advice is reasonable, although not always exactly what I would have advised. Now that I'm retired, I find myself composing little "Dear Abby" conversations in my mind as I go through the day and meet small challenges or hear about them from acquaintances. You know what I mean -- what should Tom do about his abusive daughter, how should I address the neighbors' habit of feeding the deer and squirrels, or what should I do with this latest bit of gossip? I literally ask you for guidance, then argue with the advice I think you would give -- sometimes out loud. Is this a sign of creeping insanity or something worse? -- BLABBERING IN MISSOULA

DEAR BLABBERING: It isn't a sign of creeping insanity. It's a sign that you may need another woman in your life besides Dear Abby.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who's 22 and has two children, which I helped her to deliver. She is also my neighbor. Since she moved in and divorced her husband, my husband and I have watched her make bad choices over and over again, starting with the derelict men she dates to the way she gets drunk, then drives her paper route at night. She blows her money on tattoos and then asks us for food. It's become exhausting.

She's now dating another man who's obviously using her. I have a hard time not telling him off when I see him. He won't get a job and he keeps her in perpetual relationship limbo, which forces her to focus all her attention on him and neglect her children and home.

What can I do? I value her so much I lose sleep. She constantly posts on social media that she's lonely and everyone always leaves her, but she gets mad at me for telling her where she keeps going wrong. Why can't she understand that she's doing this to herself? How can I help her see her errors, so she can move on from this awful phase? -- CARING FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: Your friend has a job. If she weren't supporting her boyfriend, she would be able to support herself and her children. The more you give her, the more reliant she will become on your handouts.

Take it from a professional: The most unwelcome advice is that which is unasked for, which is why she gets angry when you try to tell her what she's doing wrong. She doesn't want to hear it. The way to get someone like this to recognize her "errors" is to stop trying to save her from them.

You can't fix what's wrong in her life -- only she can do that -- so step back. If you really think her children are going hungry, contact child protective services, so those kids can get the help they need.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are both 68. We have been engaged for a year now. When we shopped for an engagement ring, we also purchased wedding bands because the jewelry store was having a sale.

Because of our ages, I have come to feel that there is no compelling reason to get married. It would be a big legal hassle, and there's no reason why we just cannot live together. He agrees. However, we have made a commitment to each other, and I call him my husband and he calls me his wife.

My question is, would it be OK for us to wear the wedding bands, even though we are not legally married? I wonder if other couples have done this having made that commitment to each other. Your thoughts? -- HAPPILY TOGETHER

DEAR HAPPILY: No law forbids the two of you from wearing wedding rings and calling yourselves married. Others have done it. In some states, after a period of time, the arrangement would become a common-law marriage. However, before making a final decision to do this, you and your fiance should discuss it with a lawyer. There are certain guarantees and benefits to being legally wed, because spouses have rights of inheritance and decision-making in case of illness that unwed couples do not enjoy.

DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old grandson hurts animals. He's intelligent and articulate. He understands many concepts about all kinds of things. Frankly, I'm scared. It's because he is so intelligent and high-functioning. I feel he should have more empathy than he does.

He has been doing this off and on for the last couple of years. My daughter, my husband and I have been discouraging it the whole time. He gets timeouts, stern talks and toys taken away. It doesn't work. My daughter has started swatting his bottom or his leg hoping he will understand it is unacceptable. She isn't comfortable hitting him and neither am I. My grandson knows better. I know he does.

My daughter called me this afternoon, upset because he hurt their dog again. Must we get rid of these pets? No one wants to do that. When is it too much? How can we make it stop? -- AGHAST IN ALABAMA

DEAR AGHAST: It is already "too much." Your grandson's behavior isn't normal. Because he seems unable to appropriately interact with these helpless animals, he shouldn't be allowed to be around them without constant supervision. For the dog's own safety, another home should be found for it before it's hurt again.

Your grandson may be acting out of anger, because he has been physically or sexually abused himself or has witnessed domestic violence. This is why it's extremely important he be seen by a licensed mental health professional, who can advise his parents -- and you -- about how this should be handled. Without intervention, the boy's behavior could escalate, and he could seriously injure another child.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old woman; my sister is 68. A few months ago, she was shopping and saw a man who looked EXACTLY like our father. (Dad passed away in 2008.) A conversation ensued, and he subsequently came to visit her at her home. He's 69. She snapped a picture of him and sent it to me, and the resemblance is uncanny. He was born in the same state as our father, was adopted and never knew his birth parents. We never had a brother; it was always just the two of us and our parents. She wants me to meet him.

He's married and doesn't want to tell his family about us. I would be happy to meet him, brother or not, but I need to know the truth before getting involved. It would be too weird for me to just wonder. He seems reluctant to take the DNA test. My sister and I are in the AncestryDNA system already, so it would be easy for us all to confirm. What should I do? -- GETTING INVOLVED

DEAR GETTING INVOLVED: Because this man doesn't want his family to know he may have siblings, is reluctant to take the test and you would prefer not to meet him unless you know his status, do nothing. The next move should be his.