DEAR ABBY: I'm dating my grammar school and high school sweetheart, "Gary." We've known each other since I was 6. (I'm 33 now.) In high school we dated for nine months and were in love, but he told lies to my dad, so Dad ordered him to stay away. Now, 16 years later, after being only friends all this time, we finally both became single and got back together.

Gary is and always has been the love of my life, as I am his. He would do anything for me. He says he wants to marry me and have kids, and he's never said that to any other woman.

Since we broke up at 16, Gary has done some bad things (drugs, prison). Because of it, my dad hates him. Dad was finally getting used to Gary being back in my life until a few months ago, when Gary crashed my car after relapsing. Gary is getting me a new car and trying to get my dad to like him, but Dad is stubborn. I know he's just worried about me.

I want to bring Gary to my parents' to visit because enough time has gone by since the accident. Is there any way to get my dad used to him? -- TORN IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR TORN: I think the chances of your father "getting used" to his beloved daughter being married to a convicted felon and drug user who can't quite kick the habit are somewhere between a snowflake and hell. Gary may have been the love of your life since childhood, but if you plan to marry him, it's important you get a glimpse of what you may be in for.

There are self-help groups for the friends and family of addicts. Join one of them. (Visit Nar-Anon.org to find the nearest meeting.) If you do, you will meet other individuals who are involved with people who have a drug addiction and learn about the challenges that will face both of you.

DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend of mine, "Jenny," and I reunited after years of not speaking. Our pregnancies brought us back together, and since the births of our children we have had playdates, shared baby stories, advice, etc.

My problem is, Jenny tries to pass down stained, out-of-season clothes from her child to mine. (She gets free handouts from organizations that help moms and families who aren't financially well off.) She and her child's father drive brand-new cars with hefty car payments, and they are paying a big mortgage -- all the while collecting assistance.

It bothers me because, while we struggle, my family doesn't use assistance. We feel it should be used only for those who really need it. Am I silly for letting something like this get to me? I find myself making excuses to cancel playdates and avoid her. -- MAKING MY OWN WAY IN VIRGINIA

DEAR MAKING: Your problem isn't the baby clothes. It's that you disapprove of Jenny's values. While you have some things in common, you also have major differences. Among them, your choice to work for what you get and her willingness to game the system. That's a big difference, and you're not being silly.

DEAR ABBY: Back in 2013, a co-worker, "Jamie," and I fell in love. Both of us were married to other people, but everything felt perfect. It was a feeling I never had for anyone in my life before. Three years later, I lost my job. The day I was terminated, my wife found out I had been cheating, so I ended the affair.

I have found full-time work and I'm still married, but I'm not in love with my wife like I am with Jamie. I have tried to stay in contact with her to prove to her that I'm a better man, with little success. She told me I was her only love, but I broke her heart.

She doesn't want to see me, even after several years of my trying to prove that I am the man she fell in love with. Her husband doesn't know anything. She's afraid I may break it off again. Should I continue pursuing her or give up and move on? I thought I could handle it on my own, but I need some advice. -- MISSING HER IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR MISSING HER: If you and Jamie really loved each other, you would no longer be married to your spouses. Having been dumped by you once, your former lover has a point. Give up and move on and you will save yourself, your wife, Jamie and her husband a lot of pain.

DEAR ABBY: My late wife passed away two years ago. We always had a dog in our house. He died a year ago. I now have a new lady love in my life, but she doesn't want a pet in her house. I'm dying to have another dog, and I don't know what to do. Please advise. -- PETLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR PETLESS: Eligible widowers are a prized commodity. If your idea of happiness is having a house dog, find yourself a lady who loves animals as you do. It shouldn't be difficult.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 22, and my boyfriend wants sex, but I absolutely do not. I don't feel sexual desire -- not at all. I'm asexual, but he refuses to believe me and insists my "past relations have scarred me" and that I "need to get over it."

This has become a serious problem for us because my boyfriend keeps pushing for it. Last year, we had sex on his birthday, but I froze up. I couldn't make myself refuse -- just as I didn't consent -- but he doesn't seem to understand that.

When I was 17, I was raped by my ex-boyfriend, and I admit it traumatized me. But that isn't what my problem is. I honestly don't feel any need for sex. I never have.

His birthday is coming up soon and he wants to have sex again, but like I've said, I don't. What am I supposed to do? I can't force myself to feel lust. It isn't there. Please help me. -- NO DESIRE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NO DESIRE: Whether your lack of desire is related to the rape or you are naturally asexual is something no one can answer without a mental health professional seeing and evaluating you. However, I can unequivocally say this: If you don't want to have sex, pay attention to your feelings and don't do it.

DEAR ABBY: After dating a guy I'll call Charlie for two years, I broke up with him. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I know I can't change anything, but now we have started talking again, and Charlie told me he had planned to propose to me the day I dumped him.

We have been discussing starting over again together. He's about to go across the country for college, and he asked me to move with him. Of course I said yes! It would be a perfect way to start fresh.

When I asked Charlie when we'd make us official, he said he has to focus on college first. I don't want to wait two to four years to begin our lives. Why would he want me to move with him and hold off being official if we're going to be together in the end? And what's the difference between being his fiancee moving with him and being a "friend" moving with him? I'm really upset, and I don't want to lose him again. -- STARTING OVER IN THE EAST

DEAR STARTING OVER: The difference between being a girlfriend who goes with him to college and being Charlie's fiancee is night and day. What do you plan to do when you get there? Get a job? Go to college, too? Who is going to support you financially on this adventure?

As a girlfriend, you will have far less status than if you were engaged. If he met someone else, you could be discarded like a gum wrapper along the highway of life. Please talk to your parents or some other adult relatives about this. As Charlie has made clear, he isn't ready for marriage -- or even a committed relationship. You may not want to lose him, but the surest way to do that would be to do what you are planning.