DEAR ABBY: I am married to a great man, but he's very tight with his money. We found out early in our relationship that we couldn't have a joint account because it caused so much fighting.

We share our bills, but I am broke all the time. I have credit card debt he doesn't know about. (He hates being in debt.) I have had a problem with credit cards before, and he threatened that if it happened again, we are done. How do I tell him I have more credit card debt without losing him? -- SWIMMING IN DEBT

DEAR SWIMMING: Go online and begin researching accredited or certified credit counselors. Make sure the one you choose is affiliated with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org). While you're at it, get on the internet and locate the nearest chapter of Debtors Anonymous. It's a 12-step program group for individuals who cannot control their spending. You will find it at www.debtorsanonymous.org.

Because you are compulsive about abusing credit cards, prepare yourself for the fact that you may have to get rid of all of them. And when (not if) you inform your husband about what's been going on, be sure he knows you are willing to do that. I wish you luck and recovery.

DEAR ABBY: My first wife, "Charlene," died eight years ago from an accident caused by her diabetes. Six months after her funeral, I was introduced to a lovely woman and subsequently married her. When I told my former mother-in-law I had started seeing someone, she asked me to cease all contact with her and the rest of the family. I complied with her wish.

Since Charlene's death, I have kept her personal photo album. It contains pictures and memorabilia from when she was a child and teenager. I also have some afghans her grandmother made for her. I would like to return them to her parents, but I'm afraid of the potential pain it could cause.

I considered writing her mother a letter letting her know I have these things and would like to return them. I know there's really no way of easing into this. I'm pretty sure, however, that a mom would like to have her daughter's things. Your advice would be appreciated. -- TREADING LIGHTLY

DEAR TREADING: Because the items belonged to her daughter, box them up and send them to your ex-mother-in-law. And when you do, include a note explaining that you thought she would like to have them. Period.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column often, and it appears to me that if everyone would just take a few moments to step back and think, "What if someone said/did this to me? How would I feel?" the world would be a smidge kinder. What do you think? Is it that simple, or am I just simple-minded? -- PONDERING IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR PONDERING: You are not simple-minded. You are paraphrasing a variation of the Golden Rule, which is found in the Bible and has been preached from the pulpit since it was written. We need to apply it now more than ever. And yes, it is just that simple.

DEAR ABBY: My co-worker and supposed friend asked if she could borrow my wedding dress because she thought it was so beautiful. I was thrilled to lend it to her and paid for the alterations ($200 plus) as her wedding present. I accompanied her to her fittings and helped her plan her wedding for approximately 100 friends and family.

The kicker: My husband and I were not invited to the wedding, and when she returned my gown, it had lipstick on it and cake down the front. It wasn't even in a bag -- she just handed it to me. What should I think about this? -- FLABBERGASTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: You should conclude that your co-worker and "friend" is someone with no class whatsoever. Have the dress cleaned and packaged so it can be properly stored if you intend to keep it, and give her the bill. Then distance yourself far enough from this person that if she asks for any more favors, you can comfortably say no.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, who lives in her native Germany, for almost two years. We met online thanks to a mutual online friend of mine and school friend of hers.

My girlfriend struggles with her body image, and I'm not sure how to help other than call her beautiful often. She's thin and looks fine by "American standards," as she puts it, but for a German she is larger than most, which is why she thinks she's fat and ugly, despite the fact that she's slim and pretty. What would you suggest I do in order to help her improve her body image? -- SUPPORTIVE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR SUPPORTIVE: Other than continuing to reassure her that in your eyes she's beautiful, there isn't much you can do long-distance. However, there is plenty she can do. She should discuss her fixation with a doctor who can explain what a healthy weight should be for someone her height and build. If her problem is all in her head, it's possible she needs counseling for body dysmorphia, a disorder in which people of normal weight are convinced they are heavy. It's not uncommon.

DEAR ABBY: I am going through a rough divorce. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, I had to get an order of protection against my soon-to-be ex.

I originally intended to keep my husband's last name because we have a child together and I want my last name to be the same as my child's. The thing is, Abby, I'm so disgusted with his behavior that the thought of keeping his last name makes me sick to my stomach. What should I do? -- SINGLE SOON IN OHIO

DEAR SINGLE SOON: Many parents have different names than their children. If keeping your almost-ex-husband's last name makes you sick to your stomach now, in a few years you may have a major case of indigestion. Change your name when the divorce is final because the longer you wait to do it, the more complicated it may become.

DEAR ABBY: My "friend" from childhood, "Camille," has never had my back. I have done the heavy lifting in our friendship our whole lives.

While I was on vacation two years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. I came home immediately and drove to the hospital at 1 a.m. to be by her side. I've always been by Camille's side for everything, even though she hasn't been there for me. I told her that several times, to no avail.

I went to every chemo and doctor appointment, and was there every day to rub her feet to make her feel better. I threw her a party for 100 people to "kick cancer's butt," took her on a vacation -- it goes on and on.

I ended the one-sided friendship last year. My problem is, I feel guilty for doing it. I feel I left her with cancer. But I also feel that because someone is sick doesn't give them the right to be abusive or inconsiderate. Camille hasn't tried to contact me, either. In fact, she has told others that she will never speak to me again.

I bent over backward for her, but if some other person sent a card, she would make a big deal out of it. I'm deeply hurt and don't know how to move on. Help! -- WOUNDED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR WOUNDED: One way to stop feeling guilty and get on with your life would be to acknowledge in your head and your heart that the relationship with Camille was not a healthy one for you. In fact, from the way you have described it, it was more like a bad habit.

Bad habits can be difficult to break, but many people have been able to accomplish it by replacing a bad habit with a good one. Example: Instead of feeling guilty for not rubbing Camille's feet, consider getting a pedicure for yourself. Although it might seem expensive, it would be cheaper than talking to a therapist.

DEAR ABBY: My siblings and I, all born in the '50s in a small town, have fond memories of our childhood. After our mother died in 1989, our father married "Sylvia," a new arrival in town. They lived together in our childhood home until his death in 2016.

We "kids" wanted to honor our parents and our fond childhood memories. We endowed a plaque for the town park dedicated to their memory and noting they had raised a family in that community. Sylvia is now grievously offended and furious that she was not included.

Abby, Sylvia came on the scene long after we were raised and gone. She's not our parent and played no part in the memories we wanted to honor. Although Sylvia was a good wife to our dad, she did her best to erase all traces of our mother from Dad's memory and from his home. Were we wrong? She has rebuffed our attempts to explain our benign motivations. -- CONFUSED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CONFUSED: You weren't wrong, but it would have been better had you discussed your plans for the plaque with Sylvia before donating it. That way, you would have been able to explain to her the reason why she wouldn't be on it. She may still be grieving the loss of your father, so try to understand her feelings.

And by the way, it is not unusual -- or out of line -- for a second wife to make her husband's home "her own," so don't hold it against her.