DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law owns the building my husband and I live in. I moved in with him about a year ago, before we were married. Because she owns the building, she doesn't charge her son rent to live there but asks that he help manage the building, which takes about three hours a month. (He has a full-time job outside of managing the building.)

When I moved in, his mom asked that I pay rent. I guess in the back of my mind I thought it would change after we got married. Do you think I'm a brat for thinking I shouldn't have to pay rent? The amount she's charging me is about what I would pay if we lived in another building and split the rent between us.

I don't know how to approach this, or if I'd be stepping out of line to request living somewhere rent-free. Please help. -- RENT-FREE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RENT-FREE: You are being treated like a tenant, not a daughter-in-law. As a member of the family, you should be treated the same as her son. By all means discuss this with him, and while you're at it, suggest he split your share of the rent 50/50 because you are all family now.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old daughter has extremely high expectations for her birthday. No one in the family has ever given her a gift that she liked, so now we actually have to get the gift approved by her husband first!

She doesn't like gift cards, and our budget is small. Although she barely acknowledges anyone else's birthday, she still expects the "perfect" present for her own. We love her and want to celebrate with her, but the expectations and confrontations make her birthdays miserable for everyone -- including her. How do we stop this? -- BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

DEAR BIRTHDAY: Who created this self-entitled monster? Remind your daughter and her husband that you are all adults now, and because of that, "the family" has decided from now on to mark milestones with greeting cards instead of gifts. Period. If you want to celebrate with her in addition, fine, but her behavior "takes the cake."

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about current etiquette concerning work emails. I work in the office of a financial institution and receive multiple emails from customers and fellow employees every day. Our e-mail system recognizes when a word is spelled incorrectly. If I receive an email that has a misspelled word in it and I must reply to it, is it rude to correct the other person's spelling error? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNSURE: If you do what you are contemplating, the recipient may find it insulting, so I don't recommend it. However well-intentioned, it could lose the company a client or annoy your co-workers.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Scarlet" has a precious 18-month-old baby girl I'll call Sierra. Scarlet, her husband and the baby spend a lot of time at their beach house, where they have several full-time employees, including a nanny, housekeeper, cook and gardener. These employees have been at the house for years and are practically part of our family. The problem is, my daughter and her husband allow Sierra to walk around the house and beachfront naked throughout the day.

I have told Scarlet on several occasions that I don't feel comfortable with Sierra being exposed like that around the employees. A naked toddler might make them feel awkward, plus a child should be raised to understand that her private parts are just that -- private -- and not for anybody outside of her immediate family to look at.

Additionally, from a sanitary perspective, Sierra sits down on dirty, potentially bacteria-infested places such as kitchen tiles, grass and beach sand, which could cause infections. My daughter calls me old-fashioned and tells me not to worry. What do you think? -- MORE MODEST IN NEVADA

DEAR MORE MODEST: I seriously doubt that anyone is going to be embarrassed by the sight of a naked toddler. I know you are well-meaning, and your points may be valid, but frankly, I think you should let your daughter raise her daughter.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 61 and a recent widower. I befriended a new co-worker, a woman who is single and 41. We started going out socially, and I was getting back into life.

I just found out she and my 24-year-old son have been dating for the last four months. Neither one mentioned anything about it to me. They were sneaking behind my back, and she continued to do things with me. When I realized what was going on, I confronted her and told her I felt taken advantage of and deceived. I stopped speaking with her after that.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Her relationship has come between my son and me. And yes, I realize it takes two to tango. -- IT TAKES TWO IN THE EAST

DEAR IT TAKES TWO: Your son and your co-worker should have been upfront with you. That neither one was shows a lack of character. However, there is an upside to this. You now realize you are ready to go on living after the death of your wife. Get involved in community activities; go on some dating sites and you will meet someone better suited than your co-worker. What happened with her is yet another unfortunate example of what can go wrong in an office romance.

DEAR ABBY: I have a quick question. How long after a death should you wait to send a sympathy card? I have looked at your mom's and aunt's old columns, Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post and cannot find an answer. -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN GEORGIA

DEAR NEEDS: The time to send a sympathy card is when you receive the sad news.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old woman. I have been married to my husband for 28 years and never cheated. We have a good life together, and our sex life has always been great, but I have recently fallen in love with another woman.

I haven't told anyone, not even her. She has made several comments and advances toward me, but she frequently makes comments like, "I don't swim in the lady pond."

The two of us recently went out of town together. When she kissed me on my neck, I pulled away and nothing more happened. I am positive that if I hadn't, something would have happened.

I feel like I'm going crazy because I think about her every minute. We talk on the phone several times a day. She's married (to a man) and has been for 30 years. Is it possible for two straight women to suddenly fall in love with each other? Should I tell her how I feel? Please help me. I'm confused, lost and in turmoil. -- FALLING IN LOVE

DEAR FALLING: Yes, it is possible for members of both sexes to become attracted to someone of the same sex and fall in love. Have an honest conversation with the woman. Tell her you are confused about what happened on the trip. I'm not sure she was completely honest about her "swimming" habits, but you may or may not be the first woman she has become attracted to.

I hesitate to advise what steps to take beyond that since you are both in longtime, committed relationships. Much will depend upon what she has to say.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We are the same age and have children from previous marriages. His are teenagers, and I have twin boys at home who are 6. Early on we discussed blending our families.

Although he has been eager to be a part of my life and my family, he has been less than enthusiastic about opening up his own life to me. He takes vacations with his children and leaves me out. He also travels alone to places we have discussed going to together. If I say anything, he accuses me of being selfish. But if I plan anything with my own children, he always expects to be included.

I'm getting fed up with it. I feel resentful living on the fringes of his world, while he expects to be at the center of mine. Am I selfish, or do I have a legitimate complaint? -- OFF BALANCE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OFF BALANCE: You and your boyfriend should both be spending some separate vacation time with your children, but not to the exclusion of each other. That he would take trips you had planned together without you seems peculiar, and I don't think you are selfish to be bothered by it.

Although you have been seeing each other for two years, he does not appear to be anywhere near ready to jump into the kind of relationship you are wishing for. You do have a legitimate complaint. Continue the discussion about this because something does appear to be off balance.