DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Crying Myself to Sleep" (June 2), who is having drastic mood swings, including crying, depression and anger. I experienced these, and it was not only horrible, but also scary.

My doctors figured out my problem was caused by a hormonal imbalance. Since the body makes many different types of hormones, the doctors needed to find out which one(s) were involved in the disturbance.

Instead of going for psychological help first, I suggest she go for physical testing. She should see her regular M.D., her gynecologist and an endocrinologist (a hormonal specialist) to discover exactly what's going on. If an imbalance isn't the cause, her doctor may suggest considering other options. If everything physical is ruled out, seek counseling. She should not give up on finding out the source of her problem. -- BEEN THERE AND NOW DOING GREAT

DEAR BEEN THERE: I'm pleased you're doing well and thank you for sharing. Many readers offered theories about what may be causing "Crying's" mood swings, and they are worth considering. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a psychiatrist, I've had patients with similar complaints. Before she pursues therapy, I would recommend keeping a calendar/journal for a few months to note when the episodes occur. While people tend to identify events as "random," I have had patients who, once they kept track, realized the episodes were always a few days before the onset of their period. It is always wise to rule out a physical explanation before devoting time and energy to a psychological one. -- GLEN IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My doctor recommended I keep a food and exercise diary along with documenting my mood swings. Before long "Crying" may see a connection to what she's eating/not eating. Many young women starve themselves until late in the day and then eat junk food, which can play havoc on their emotional state. Lifestyle changes and clean eating can help. -- MELANIE IN COLORADO

DEAR ABBY: All your suggestions to "Crying" were good, but she also needs to consult her doctor and have a complete blood workup done. She could very well be diabetic or have a low or high thyroid problem. Either one could cause her mood swings, and thyroid problems can cause a lot of symptoms that mimic other diseases. -- LANELLE IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: In addition to the resources you included in your answer, there are also nonprofit clinics called Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHCs), which offer services regardless of a patient's ability to pay. I am a child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist and I work for such a clinic. We have counselors and therapists who could help someone like "Crying" get to the bottom of her problem. -- DR. SANDRA V.

DEAR CARING READERS: I want to thank you for reaching out to offer resources to "Crying Myself to Sleep." I hope they will help her to resolve her mood swings.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the proud mom of a wonderful 21-year-old daughter whom I find myself worrying about more and more lately. She just graduated from our local college and is heading to medical school in another state six hours away.

Rationally, I know she'll be fine and can take care of herself, but I am terrified that something will happen to her and I won't be there. My husband and daughter keep telling me nothing will happen and I need to calm down.

My question is, how do I go about staying calm when there is danger everywhere? She's our only child. Aren't my fears justified? Or am I overreacting like they keep telling me? -- WORRIED MOM IN ALABAMA

DEAR WORRIED MOM: You are overreacting. Many parents experience the fears you are having to some degree when their child leaves home. For many of them, it happens when the child boards the school bus at the age of 6. For others it happens when their young adult leaves for college.

While tragedies do sometimes occur, they can happen when a parent is present as well as when their child is absent. These incidents are magnified when they dominate the news cycle. If you are unable to control your anxiety, a licensed therapist may be able to help you regain your balance.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Russell," and I have had a good relationship for five years. He's black; I'm white. The problem is, on every holiday -- Mother's Day, Easter, Father's Day, etc. -- Russell and his family go out to dinner and I am not invited. I have a feeling it's because I'm white. His ex-girlfriend was black and she was always invited to family functions.

I love Russell but don't think our relationship will go anywhere because his family doesn't approve of me. My family totally accepts him, by the way.

What should I do? Should I stay in a relationship where I am shunned? He doesn't think it's that big a deal and says I shouldn't let it bother me, but how can it not? His brother's girlfriend is invited. She's black, of course. Help, please. -- EXCLUDED IN DELAWARE

DEAR EXCLUDED: You have been seeing Russell for five years? It is a big deal, and you would have to have a hide of Kevlar not to be bothered by it. Have you asked him why you are consistently excluded? Have you asked where he thinks your relationship is going? If not, it's time you did.

Not knowing Russell's family, I don't know whether they may have some other objection to you than the fact that you are white. Regretfully, racism exists in every community to some degree. Without more information, I am reluctant to label them.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I've noticed more people saying "Excuse you" instead of "Excuse me" if someone is in their way. I consider it very rude, since the person being addressed often has no idea he or she is in the way before something is said. What's an appropriate response when someone says "Excuse you"? -- EXCUSE ME IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR EXCUSE ME: This is what I would say: "Excuse me? Excuse you! If you need to get by, all you have to do is ask politely."

DEAR ABBY: The media give us stories of racial conflict and the shooting of police officers almost daily, and every reporter and news anchor proposes solutions. As a Hispanic police officer in a small city, I have an observation.

I was having lunch the other day with two other officers. Sitting across from us was a young mom whose child was throwing a temper tantrum. I overheard her say, "If you don't behave, I'm going to give you to those police officers and let them beat you!"

Abby, my parents taught me the police were my friends -- people I could go to if I had a problem. We work hard to interact with the community. I wonder how many other tired and frustrated parents have made their children afraid of the police and created distrust. Like so many other "social problems," maybe a lot of this really starts with how parents teach their children. -- POLICE ARE MY FRIENDS

DEAR POLICE OFFICER: It is the parents' responsibility to discipline their children; it is not the job of the police! It is a huge mistake for parents to instill fear of authority figures in their children, because a day may come when the kid needs help from one of them.

And by the way, this doesn't happen only with law enforcement officers. I have heard of children who are terrified of doctors because their mothers threatened them by saying if they misbehaved, "the doctor would give them a shot." To say these are prime examples of poor parenting is putting it mildly.

DEAR ABBY: I have lived next door to my late husband "Jack's" 86-year-old mother for the last 26 years. Jack died seven years ago.

Recently, she asked for my help changing an overhead light bulb. When she thanked me, I responded, "That's what family is for!" She looked at me with a puzzled expression and finally said, "Hmm ... I guess we are family, in a way."

I replied: "Your son and I were married 25 years. You're the grandmother of our children. I'm pretty sure that makes us family." She then informed me she had stopped being my mother-in-law when Jack died.

I always thought she would remain my mother-in-law until I remarried, if ever. Abby, I confess, I was not only floored by her remark, but also hurt. She used to always tell me I was the daughter she'd always wanted, but since Jack passed away, it has been painfully obvious it was never true.

So who is right? Is she still my mother-in-law? Or is she now my "ex"? -- UNWANTED "DAUGHTER"

DEAR UNWANTED: Jack's mother appears to suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. From your description of what happened, I don't think she meant to appear rejecting. I think she may have been genuinely puzzled because she thought her in-law relationship with you ended with her son's death. I am sure she was sincere when she said she loves you like the daughter she never had. Revisit this with her and tell her how it made you feel. You both need to clear the air.