DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 38 years. We both had long professional careers and saved diligently for our retirement. Our children are on their own and doing well with their careers.

My husband retired six years ago. His daily routine is visiting his mother (every day) in an assisted living facility. It is an expensive place, and they take great care of her. I have just retired. I waited to do it until I was 67, thinking we could start to travel (not move).

My husband has now informed me he doesn't want to go on any two- to three-week vacations because of his mother. He says he needs to see her every day. Abby, the woman is 98 and going strong! There's nothing wrong with her except for some forgetfulness.

I don't understand why he feels he "needs" to see her every day. When I try to question him, he gets angry and upset. He makes me feel like I'm the mean one. This is ruining our marriage. I'm not sure what I can do (if anything) to fix it. Help! -- RANKED SECOND IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR RANKED SECOND: When a man marries, his wife is supposed to take precedence over his mother. However, because your husband "needs" to do this, you cannot be perceived as standing in his way, which will cause further resentment. His motive may be devotion. It could also be a feeling he could have been a better son in years past.

I find it hard to believe no one else could check in on your mother-in-law for the two weeks your husband would be away. (It could be one of your children, a sibling, another relative or a trusted friend.)

Rather than allow this to affect your marriage, why not consider creating a Plan B? Schedule some trips for yourself. While you're away, send him lovely postcards with upbeat messages from the places you visit. When you get back, if he mentions he missed you, assure him you missed him too, but you understand right now his mother is his first priority.

Then tell him that while no one has a contract with God, "with luck" the two of you will have some nice trips together after "Mom" is gone. Provided, of course, that he still wants to travel after her death.

DEAR ABBY: What's the deal with adolescent girls and young women wearing extremely tight and form-fitting yoga/workout pants? Last week, while I was leaving a smoothie shop, I held the door open for a young lady whose pants were so tight I could easily see the outline of her private area.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for my drink at a coffee place, a girl in her early teens walked in wearing similar attire. She was with her dad. In this situation I blame him. No father should allow his daughter to wear an outfit in public that leaves nothing to the imagination. These kinds of pants are designed for the gym, and that should be it. Your opinion? -- CONSERVATIVE GUY IN FLORIDA

DEAR GUY: Obscenity is in the eye of the beholder. While it's possible these young women had just left their workout or yoga lesson, it's more likely they simply find the pants comfortable to wear. My opinion is you should direct your gaze above the beltline, Prince Charming. If their outfits were "indecent," they wouldn't have been allowed inside the businesses.

DEAR ABBY: When I was dating my husband, I gave him a lot of leeway. When he told me he listened to a radio show that is known for unscientific views, I ignored it because I found him so charming and kind. Honestly, he treats me better than anyone I've ever known, and I had been in the dating scene for 27 years. During our three-year courtship I always avoided the topics of science and politics.

We have been married two years now, and I'm trying hard to reconcile the fact that I'm married to a conspiracy theorist who believes the world is flat. He's convinced that fluoride is mass brainwashing and the Holocaust was faked. It makes me so sad. I knew on some level that he believed these things, but I chose to overlook it.

Other than his irrational beliefs, we are compatible and happy. My question is, can a relationship survive and thrive in the midst of these fundamental differences? -- KNOWS BETTER IN KANSAS

DEAR KNOWS BETTER: You say you are compatible and happy in every other respect. Yes, your marriage can survive -- if you practice the same selective amnesia you chose to adopt when your husband was courting you, and focus solely on the areas in which you are in sync.

DEAR ABBY: Can you please advise me about what to do about a mother who has gone overboard with church donations? She drained my parents' savings and gave her old church $20,000. She complains to Dad that they can't afford to go out to dinner once a week, but she's doing this?

What can I say to her? I get that it says in the Bible you're supposed to tithe, but my folks are on a budget, and they are in danger of losing their home because of this. Twenty thousand dollars is close to 30 percent of their combined pretax income, and that's not even taking into account what she's giving to the church she currently attends. Help! -- OVERBOARD IN NEVADA

DEAR OVERBOARD: You can't handle this problem alone. Your father will have to become proactive about what your mother has been doing. This may involve him talking to an attorney about what would be involved with separating his earnings from your mother's.

That said, is it possible that your mother is "forgetting" she has already made some of these donations, or why they can no longer go out to dinner once a week? If that's the case, it's important she be evaluated medically and neurologically to be sure she is still of sound body and mind.

DEAR ABBY: Would it be rude to announce my wife's pregnancy before her sister's wedding next week? Do I need to wait until afterward, or is good news always welcome? -- GOOD NEWS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR GOOD NEWS: In the interest of family harmony, I urge you to refrain from doing it. While good news is always welcome, this news should wait until after the wedding. If you make the announcement now, your sister-in-law might regard it as stealing the limelight from the bride.

DEAR ABBY: My dad has never really been in the picture. He just pops back in and out whenever he wishes and leaves when things get too hard. He has never had a job or a home since he walked out on my mother when I was 7. Recently he seems to have settled back here in town where my siblings and I live, but for some reason, he maintains contact only with me. I'm 18 and the oldest of three.

Since I have finally forgiven him for all the pain he's caused, I sometimes accept when he invites me out to eat or watch a movie. He doesn't own a car, so I give him rides when he needs them.

My problem is, he gets very touchy-feely. For example, when I'm driving, he'll put his hand on my thigh. Or when we're out together, he'll hold my hand and say, "Pretend to be my girlfriend." Of course, I immediately let go of his hand. Then he'll "playfully" hug me and force me to be close to him.

I don't know how to tell him he makes me feel uncomfortable. I have recently stopped answering his phone calls, but I feel bad because I would like a normal relationship with my father. How do I get him to start acting less like a creep and more like a father? -- DESPERATELY NEEDING ADVICE

DEAR DESPERATELY NEEDING: You may wish for a normal relationship with your father, but from your description, it never has been. Your father's behavior is extremely inappropriate. You might be able to get him to stop "acting like a creep and more like a father" by telling him in plain English to cut it out. If he persists, avoid him, and do not feel guilty about it.

And if your siblings are female, talk to them and warn them about their father's impulses -- if they don't already know. Hasn't it occurred to you that your father contacts only you because you are no longer a minor?

DEAR ABBY: My 43-year-old son lives with my husband and me because of medical issues. On weekends he stays over at his girlfriend's house. Occasionally, on weekends he's not here, I'll invite people over for dinner.

He says that because he lives here, he should be told when people are coming to the house. I say because he is not here at the time, and my husband and I own the house, it's none of his business. Who is right? -- LADY OF THE HOUSE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LADY: Your son has a point. I see no reason to withhold the information from him. He is a full-fledged member of the household. If his concern is that your guests might go into his room or go through his things, he may want to lock his door when company is coming in his absence.

DEAR ABBY: For the past couple of years, my husband and I have not been happy with the service provided by our dentist. We have been patients of his for years and recently decided to switch to someone else. What would be the best way to approach this? We are unsure how to diplomatically tell him that we won't be going back to him. We both have upcoming appointments. -- DENTAL DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: You do not have to explain why you are leaving unless you want to do the dentist the favor of telling him why. All you need to do is call the receptionist and say you are canceling the appointments. Your new dentist can contact the old one and request your records. You do not have to pick them up and deliver them yourself.