DEAR ABBY: I'm 20 years old and have a job in retail. I have been working here for a few years and am in a higher position than most associates.

I'm in a relationship with my high school sweetheart, whom I truly love, but I am also crazy about my boss. She's beautiful, funny, and to be honest, I jumped at my promotion so I could get closer to her.

I feel terrible because, while I love my girlfriend (she's amazing), if I were given the chance to be with my boss, I'd have a hard time saying no. Thankfully, my boss is in a long-term marriage, so I know in my head I have no chance, but it hurts to go on every day thinking about her. I'd hate myself if I never told her how I feel about her. What should I do? -- REALLY CONFUSED IN RETAIL

DEAR REALLY CONFUSED: Because you are excelling in this retail job, consider asking your beautiful, funny, married boss to write a positive letter of recommendation for you so you can find another job in retail -- one that won't make you ache every time you clock in.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been asked to be in his sister's wedding. We said yes, mostly out of obligation.

There will be three married couples in the procession. I recently learned that my sister-in-law plans to have the couples split up and walk with others. I think it's extremely weird and rude, so much so that we want to back out. Neither of us cares to be in a memory book with us posing with other people. It's not that either of us is jealous; we have been married for 24 years. What do you think? -- FEELING OBLIGATED IN THE EAST

DEAR FEELING OBLIGATED: I think that before you take offense and back out, you should ask your sister-in-law why she wants to do this. It could be something as simple as variations in the height of the participants and not weird or rude. Between you and me, unless you and your husband feel so strongly about this that you are willing to create a rift in the family, you should go along with his sister's fantasy of her perfect day.

DEAR ABBY: I can't do anything for my 70-something-year-old mom without her thanking me so much it makes me uncomfortable. A recent example: She moved to a new apartment, and I bought her some gift certificates as a housewarming gift. She thanked me profusely via email when she received them. She thanked me again over the phone when I next spoke with her. She's thanked me at least half a dozen more times -- each time she uses one of them.

When my sister and I paid for a trip for her, she bought us expensive gifts as thank-yous. The gifts cost far more than she could afford (and unfortunately, in my case, was something I'd never use), which kind of negated the idea of us paying for the trip.

I know Mom means well. Should I say or do anything, or just let it be? -- THANKS-FULL SON IN SEATTLE

DEAR SON: If you say something, you risk embarrassing your mother or, worse, hurting her feelings. I vote for just letting it be.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law "Charles" has earned the privilege of being buried in a military cemetery. He lost his wife, "Claire," to cancer 10 years ago; she is buried in their plot in the military cemetery with a headstone. Their children are all adults now.

Charles has been seriously dating a divorcee, "Joyce," and they are talking about marriage. Joyce feels that for him to be committed to her in marriage, they should have a plot together. It's our understanding that only one wife is allowed to be buried in the military cemetery. This would mean Claire would have to be exhumed and transferred to another one.

I'm not sure how close Joyce is to her family, but she does have grown children. I suggested they get an outside opinion and a prenuptial agreement before they get married, which both would be agreeable to. What have others done in similar situations? -- CONCERNED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR CONCERNED: There are different types of military cemeteries in this country, 135 of which are maintained by the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration. (None of them are located in your state.) However, there are many state and private military cemeteries nationwide, and their rules may differ from those of the national. Because you didn't mention which category your brother-in-law's cemetery falls under, the best advice I can offer is to contact it and find out what its rules are in circumstances like this.

DEAR ABBY: I tend to be a people pleaser. So when my wife wanted to buy a home for us to raise a family in, I went along with her plan to move to her hometown. I wanted her to be happy, and I was excited about the home-purchasing process.

It's almost two years later, and I regret it. I'm not happy here. I miss my hometown where all my friends and family live. It's a beach town, a throwback to a time when everyone knew everyone and you could walk or bike-ride anywhere. People don't lock their doors, and homes are insulated from the streets and traffic, so kids can play freely outside. To me, it's the perfect town.

But there is no convincing my wife to try giving my hometown a shot as our full-time residence. Despite knowing we will never be able to own a summer house there, that's the "dream" my wife sells to me. I resent her because she got what she wants, and I just have to deal with it. Should I just accept my fate? -- RESENTFUL IN NEW YORK

DEAR RESENTFUL: I am sorry you are unhappy with the decision you made. Your wife may have wanted to move to her hometown because she felt her relatives could help out with your children, which is a plus. However, unless you find the strength to assert yourself, "accepting your fate" is exactly what you may have to do.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband of 11 years and three children. "Carl" is attentive, caring and always puts the needs of our family first. You could say he is everyone's dream husband.

Long story short, I cheated on him while I was on vacation. It started as innocent flirtation, but then it went further. When "Brad" kissed me, I knew it wasn't going to stop there. Afterward, I not only didn't feel guilty, I did it again. I have been quietly communicating with Brad and sent him revealing photos and a graphic video of myself. He loved it, and we plan to meet again soon.

Please help me understand why I am cheating on such a wonderful husband. Shouldn't I feel guilty? What can I do to stop this before it gets out of control and Carl finds out? I really don't want to lose him. -- DON'T FEEL GUILTY

DEAR DON'T FEEL GUILTY: I have a flash for you. This fling is already out of control. While the excitement may have gone out of your marriage, I guarantee that when Carl gets wind of this -- start the countdown now -- you'll have an abundance of it.

If you really value your marriage, start devoting as much energy to working on it as you have been directing toward Brad. And pray that Brad is a good enough sport to delete the incriminating photos and video.

DEAR ABBY: I am in love with a man who is 28 years younger than I am. I'll call him Albert. We want to get married, but I'm not sure how much the age difference really matters. We have been seeing each other for almost a year, and I know he loves me. We haven't told anyone except a few people. My son, 28, and my daughter, 40, don't know how serious we are. My granddaughter knows everything.

I know my children may object because of the age difference and the fact that Albert is from another country (in Africa). To me, that doesn't matter, and it may not to them, but Albert is worried that Immigration may question us. We are both private people, and we want to be together as husband and wife.

I can't give him children, but there are other ways we can have a child of our own. I want my kids to be happy for me. I really need to know what you think. -- LOST IN LOVE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LOST: That Albert is afraid of the questions Immigration might ask raises a red flag for me. What I think is that if you choose to proceed -- as I suspect you probably will -- you should be very cautious doing so.

DEAR ABBY: I have a concern I suspect is shared by others. Keeping a journal has been shown to be of significant psychological benefit, but I do not want my private thoughts and concerns read by others after my death. Is this silly of me? I realize I'll be dead and gone, but the possibility of it happening inhibits me from recording my thoughts and feelings. Thanks for any insights you and/or your readers can offer. -- PRIVATE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR PRIVATE: Unless you have an executor you can trust to dispose of your journals when you are gone, my recommendation would be to keep your journals online, in the cloud, and able to be accessed only by you.