DEAR ABBY: I have never been married. I've been perceived as a "playboy" for many years now. I don't mean to be, but when I sense the potential for a passionate romantic encounter with flowers, candy, champagne, pot (and an occasional Quaalude), the urge takes over.

I was never considered "hot" until I turned 50 and decided to get in shape. I had a hair transplant, a neck lift and lost 25 pounds. Shouldn't I continue to enjoy this? I'm really loving it. But I worry about the comments about my age. I look about 38. -- MAX IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MAX: If you are wooing adult women with flowers and candy, that's the traditional way of going about it. However, if you are using alcohol, pot and Quaaludes to render them so dizzy they can't refuse your advances, it is considered rape -- a prosecutable offense no matter how good you look for your age. If you doubt me, just look at the news.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are pregnant, and we are arguing over the gender of the baby. We have wanted this child for a long time and had trouble conceiving. I won't care if it's a boy or a girl, but he is adamant that he wants a boy. He has even gone so far as to say that he will be disappointed if it isn't.

We find out the gender this month, and I'm not sure how to prepare or if we should even find out. Help! -- DISAPPOINTED IN OHIO

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Many men fantasize about having a son, a "mini-me" to teach sports to, just as many women dream of having a daughter and what her first prom will be like or helping her to plan her wedding. When most couples have a baby, the first thing they do is thank God the baby is born healthy.

Little girls have been known to wrap their daddies around their little fingers before they are old enough to walk. The same is true for baby boys and their mothers. Please do not take your husband's spouting off so seriously; it will pass. As to whether you should determine the sex of your baby before birth, consider this: It will give you time to color-coordinate the nursery and layette.

DEAR ABBY: My good friend injured her back, so I offered to help out with chores and errands while she recovers. One of the errands was to pick up some groceries, which included items for a barbecue party. No problem. However, I later learned she threw a grand cookout on Memorial Day, complete with boat rides, jet skis, fireworks and tons of food -- the food I picked up for her. The kicker? I wasn't invited! Am I immature for feeling angry and left out? -- TRYING TO BE AN ADULT ABOUT THIS

DEAR TRYING: I don't think you are immature. You called this woman a good friend. Unless an important fact was omitted from your letter, your feelings are normal. The only "good friend" in this relationship appears to be you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old widow who lost my husband 5 1/2 years ago. I became reacquainted with a former classmate at a high school reunion, and we started dating. He makes me laugh, takes me to dinner and movies, and we have a great time together.

One night, I let him stay over because he was going to go to church with me the next morning. He lives 45 minutes away. My son drove by (intentionally), saw his car and confronted us at church in front of people. He walked up to my friend and said, "Well, how did you enjoy your sleepover at my mother's house last night?" This was the first time they had ever met!

Their bitterness toward each other has escalated, and now my son has given me an ultimatum: Choose between his family or my friend. He has my only grandchildren.

I am so depressed, I don't know what to do. I don't want my son dictating my life, but I want to see my grandchildren. They truly are the most important people in my life. I could break up with my friend, but then my son would think he won. Any thoughts? -- SO, SO SAD

DEAR SAD: You are all adults. Your son was a mile out of line to do what he did. Why would he be patrolling your home? Personally, I think what he did was a little sick.

This is not a question of winning or losing. For your own sake, you must not allow him to tell you how to conduct your personal life. I would recommend family therapy for all of you if your self-righteous son would agree. But if he won't, my advice to you is to live your own life.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married soon to the best guy ever, and I couldn't be more excited. My older sister is my maid of honor, and she has been doing an amazing job with the planning of my bachelorette party, showers, etc.

Two years ago, my sister was engaged to a man named "Sean." Six months before their wedding, Sean broke the engagement without warning, and along with it, my sister's and my family's hearts. About a month ago, they decided to get back together and are trying to make things work.

My fiance and I have decided not to invite Sean to our wedding. We believe it's too soon for him to be around the family, but more importantly, we don't think our wedding day is an appropriate time for him to be "re-introduced." Is it selfish to exclude him from our nuptials? How should we tell my sister? -- SELFISH IN THE WEST

DEAR SELFISH: I'm glad you asked. While it's your right as the bride to exclude whomever you choose, it would be selfish and I strongly advise you -- for the sake of future family harmony -- not to do this. Your sister has been doing everything she can to make this milestone event in your life wonderful. To exclude Sean would be a poor way to thank her for her efforts.

DEAR READERS: Have a very happy and healthy Fourth of July, everyone. And please be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired male. My girlfriend is still working. We have been exclusive for three years. We live 300 miles apart, but see each other every two or three weeks for at least three days and, until now, have had a very good relationship.

The problem is, she's saying she wants to socialize with her ex-husband, who lives in her town. They have been divorced for eight years, but she wants to see him occasionally in a "social setting," not just when it pertains to their two adult children, who live out of state.

I understand that they need to have a relationship because of their family, but I have trouble accepting their getting together to socialize. She has removed pictures of me from her Facebook so as not to offend the ex and banned me from her son's wedding. She has told me she doesn't want me to attend any future family events where the ex is present. Am I being unreasonable or immature in not accepting this situation? -- READY TO JUMP SHIP

DEAR READY: You are neither immature nor unreasonable. It would be interesting to know your girlfriend's definition of "getting together" because it may involve more than being in a social setting. That she has removed images of you from her Facebook and no longer wants you to attend family celebrations tells me, as it should you, that more may be going on with her ex than she has told you (yet). I'm sorry, but I suggest you prepare yourself for some worse news, because it appears to me your romance is heading south.

DEAR ABBY: Please repeat a warning to your readers. Here in Tennessee, at least two young children have died recently as the result of being left inside a parent's car on a hot day. Although many, if not most, states have passed laws against leaving children alone in a parked car (as well as people with disabilities and pets), too often those laws are ignored, knowingly or unknowingly. People still don't understand how dangerously hot the interior of a car or truck can get, and how quickly it can happen.

The temperature inside a car with the windows rolled up can rise as much as 20 degrees in 10 minutes. Within an hour, the interior of a car can easily become hot enough to cause heatstroke, which can prove fatal to children, an elderly or disabled person, or a pet. Even on cloudy days, inside temperatures can reach dangerous levels.

Because of this risk, the National Weather Service uses a slogan: "Look Before You Lock!" TV and radio stations across the country have joined this effort, and a number of websites and videos are available that focus on this important message. Abby, would you please print this commonsense reminder? -- TOM IN FAIRVIEW, TENN.

DEAR TOM: I'm pleased to join this campaign to save lives. Readers, if you are transporting loved ones -- including your pets -- resolve to stay focused on their safety rather than the next task on your to-do list. These tragedies seem to happen when drivers are so distracted by what has to be done next that they forget about what's going on in the present.