DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been happily married for two years. We both want biological children later, when the timing is right.

A while ago, some friends adopted a little girl from Russia. The girl was orphaned and badly in need of medical treatment. Our friends got her everything she needed and more, and I was touched by the experience of watching her develop into a happy, healthy child.

I realized I had a desire to do something similar, so I told my husband I wanted to adopt a child. He immediately shot the idea down and said he'd never be interested in raising a kid that wasn't his. It broke my heart a little. I'm not willing to end my marriage over this, but how can I reconcile my hurt feelings and not feel resentful? -- FUTURE MAMA IN ALABAMA

DEAR FUTURE MAMA: Your friends were fortunate because not all adoptions are successful, and not all blended families are happy ones. Be glad your husband was honest with you, and consider starting your family sooner than you originally planned -- provided you and your husband are in agreement about the timing.

DEAR ABBY: This has been bothering me for a while. Why do people put very old pictures of the deceased in the obituary? The people haven't looked like that for more than 40-plus years.

When I look at the obituaries and see the picture, I think how sad it is that the person died so young. Then I read the article and see they were in their 80s or 90s, and the photo was taken when they were in their 40s or even younger. I have seen high school pictures even.

Close friends and family know what they looked like when they died. Do they think they're fooling anyone? -- CURRENT PHOTO IN OHIO

DEAR CURRENT PHOTO: Please don't jump to conclusions. I don't think the pictures are published to "fool" anybody. This is how the family would like to remember their loved one -- in the full bloom of youth. If it comforts them, it should be fine with the rest of us because it's harming no one.

DEAR ABBY: What's the polite way to get guests to leave at the end of the night? I'm a pretty direct person, so generally I say, "Well, it's getting late now," or "I'm tired and would like to go to bed," but my husband keeps telling me I'm being rude.

When inviting someone over, is it in poor taste to ask them to leave by a certain time? I love that guests feel so comfortable and welcome in our home, but my husband and I work full time and have a 1-year-old. I need some me time at the end of the day. -- RUDE HOST IN THE EAST

DEAR "RUDE": A variation on how you're handling this would be to stand up and say, "'John' and I want to thank you for coming, but we have to work tomorrow." For a guest to ignore that cue would be rude. An almost surefire way to ensure guests are out by a certain time would be to make clear when they are invited that the evening will be "between 7 o'clock and 10."

DEAR ABBY: I got a stepdad when I was a young teen. He never tried to replace my dad, and was very respectful of that relationship. I didn't regard him as a father figure, but more as a relative, friend, and a good man who has done a lot of good for my family.

I'm a young adult now. My real dad died recently. Father's Day is now just a painful emptiness I would rather ignore, instead of partaking in celebrations that remind me the most important man in my life is gone.

My mom insists that I continue to acknowledge my stepdad on Father's Day. I know it's the polite and courteous thing to do, and my stepdad deserves every accolade in the world, but it's awkward for me. I hurt for the loss of Dad and don't want to be reminded on a holiday where everyone else at the party is surrounded by theirs. Is there a "best path" answer here? -- DAUGHTER MISSING DAD IN KANSAS

DEAR DAUGHTER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father. It's understandable that your heart is heavy. Mother's Day and Father's Day can evoke sadness for those who have lost a parent.

That said, I do think the respectful thing to do would be to remember your stepdad with a card as your mother wishes. Sometimes, knowing we have done something nice for someone else -- even if we are hurting -- can make us feel better. If you do, you won't be sorry. I know, because it has worked for me.

P.S. Readers, allow me to wish a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads. And, of course, a big shout-out to dual-role moms and grandmothers. I applaud you all. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am in high school and I'm an atheist. My parents are Catholic. Over the past couple of years, for various reasons, I have realized I don't believe what my parents and priest were telling me. I haven't told my parents because I'm afraid of what they'll say. Mom will probably think she failed as a parent, my grandma would never talk to me again and I'll be forced to go to church every Sunday, do the sacraments and go to religion class.

I've been silent for a while, but I'm going to make my confirmation soon and I feel terrible. When I go to confirmation classes, I feel like a hypocrite. I want to tell everyone the truth, but I don't know if it's a good idea. Should I? -- NEW ENGLAND HERETIC

DEAR "HERETIC": Although this may seem counterintuitive, consider talking to your priest about your feelings. I am positive that it won't be the first time he has heard something like this. Keep in mind that as you grow older, your feelings about atheism may moderate. People have been known to return to -- and find comfort from -- the church after a long absence.