DEAR ABBY: I was divorced seven years ago. My ex-wife, "Annie," and I were married almost seven years and had what I thought was a great relationship. Then we bit off more than we could chew financially. I began working long hours to get us out of the pit, which created distance between us until divorce became inevitable. We tried working things out five years ago. It failed.
Since then, I have been in a handful of relationships that ultimately went down in flames. Three months ago, I rekindled one of those relationships, but it ended quickly because, in a moment of passion, I called her by Annie's name. I contacted Annie and shared it with her hoping for something.
A month later, I lost my mother to lymphoma and contacted Annie as a shoulder to lean on because I had no one else. She has a new fiance now, and when she told me, I was devastated.
I have started talking to someone new, and it's going well so far, but I find myself dreaming about Annie and longing for her and the good times. How do I get over her? I find myself looking at mutual friends' Facebook pictures just to get a glimpse of her. -- TORN APART IN TEXAS
DEAR TORN: Stalking your ex-wife on Facebook isn't going to get you what you want. It won't win her back or help you to get on with your life. What will help will be to start talking with a licensed mental health professional who can help you begin to reorient your thinking and start living in the present rather than the past. Please consider it, because your emotional dependence on your ex is neither helpful for you nor productive.