DEAR ABBY: I was divorced seven years ago. My ex-wife, "Annie," and I were married almost seven years and had what I thought was a great relationship. Then we bit off more than we could chew financially. I began working long hours to get us out of the pit, which created distance between us until divorce became inevitable. We tried working things out five years ago. It failed.

Since then, I have been in a handful of relationships that ultimately went down in flames. Three months ago, I rekindled one of those relationships, but it ended quickly because, in a moment of passion, I called her by Annie's name. I contacted Annie and shared it with her hoping for something.

A month later, I lost my mother to lymphoma and contacted Annie as a shoulder to lean on because I had no one else. She has a new fiance now, and when she told me, I was devastated.

I have started talking to someone new, and it's going well so far, but I find myself dreaming about Annie and longing for her and the good times. How do I get over her? I find myself looking at mutual friends' Facebook pictures just to get a glimpse of her. -- TORN APART IN TEXAS

DEAR TORN: Stalking your ex-wife on Facebook isn't going to get you what you want. It won't win her back or help you to get on with your life. What will help will be to start talking with a licensed mental health professional who can help you begin to reorient your thinking and start living in the present rather than the past. Please consider it, because your emotional dependence on your ex is neither helpful for you nor productive.

DEAR ABBY: I have a pet peeve with my husband's family and am wondering if I am wrong. My in-laws often pick up a toothpick and use it while we are still seated at the dinner table. This happens even in restaurants. When they dine in my home, they leave their used toothpicks lying around. It's disgusting.

My mother-in-law is now starting to floss her teeth in public. I believe these activities should be done in private. Is there any written protocol about the use of toothpicks? I know my mother-in-law reads your column, and I'm hoping she won't miss this. -- "PICKED" OFF

DEAR "PICKED": I agree that good manners dictate oral hygiene should be attended to away from the dinner table, and so does Emily Post. In Emily Post's "Etiquette" (18th edition), she writes, "Toothpicks should be used in private, not as you walk out of the restaurant or, worse still, at the table." The same is true of flossing, in order to avoid having one's dental detritus land on the table or, worse, on a dinner companion.

READER ALERT! If you know a student who would like to enter the $5,000 Dear Abby College Columnist Scholarship contest, see the information on DearAbby.com/scholarship and learn more. The deadline is fast approaching.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is a narcissist and a user. She has never held down a job and blames everyone else. We rarely get along for more than 15 minutes at a time.

I used to blame myself, but have realized over the years that I'm not alone in how I feel about her. The problem is, she doesn't realize her behavior is unacceptable. If you try to address it, it causes an argument. She has no idea that she has alienated herself from our family and has no friends. She loves me and I love her, but I can't stand to be around her.

I'm an only child. Because of the way she is there is no one else in her life. I'm responsible for 99 percent of her social interactions outside of work. What do I do? She says that because she has no savings, she will be moving in with me when she's older. The idea of taking care of her until she dies keeps me up at night.

Part of me wants a relationship with my mother -- more for her sake than for mine -- but she's toxic. How do I handle her now and as she ages? I feel like a terrible person for feeling this way, but it's causing me increasing anxiety. -- DISTRESSED DAUGHTER IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAUGHTER: You are responsible for your mother's social life because you have placed yourself in that position. The person responsible for her social life as well as her financial situation is her, not you.

It is time to tell your mother she had better start putting money away for her old age because she will not be moving in with you. To take care of yourself does not make you a terrible person, so do not allow anyone to tell you that it does.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on how to approach a friend, "Sarah," about a sensitive topic. She's pretty, but she dresses sloppily. Her pants are so loose they slip off her waist, her shirts are too tight and short, and she never wears makeup or jewelry.

I'd like to take her shopping for clothes that fit her better, especially as she has started looking for a new job and will need appropriate clothes for an interview. However, Sarah's a bit on the large side and sensitive about it, so she doesn't like shopping with others and refuses our offers to help. She also gets offended if someone points out that her clothes don't fit.

I don't want her wardrobe to impede her interviews, and I think she could benefit from a new look. How can I gently offer to go clothes-shopping with her so I can help her find nice clothes without offending her? -- FASHIONISTA IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR FASHIONISTA: How is your friend doing in that job search? If she tells you it's not going well, that would be the time to offer your help. But do not approach the subject from a grooming perspective, which Sarah could regard as insulting. Instead, approach it from the job attire angle. Suggest she could make a better impression if she "dressed for success," and volunteer to help her pick out some things.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 54. My 28-year-old daughter, Sarah, lives with me. Our issue is my sex life.

I have a long-term live-in boyfriend, and we enjoy each other in many ways. We try to be quiet while we're enjoying each other physically, but evidently we are not quiet enough. Sarah complains whenever we make any kind of noise that she even suspects might be sexual in nature. She has accused me of having sex when we were only talking.

It might seem reasonable to have sex only when Sarah isn't home, but she's home very often at night. Due to menopause, I have limited windows of time without pain that I even want sex. She's living with me to try to bank enough money to buy her own house, and I support that. Am I wrong to continue to enjoy relations with my boyfriend when my daughter is home? -- FRUSTRATED MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR MOM: No, you are not wrong. You and your daughter are both adults. She's a guest in your home. While most "children" are uncomfortable when confronted with the reality that their parents have sex lives, she should not be commenting on or regulating yours. If she can't adapt to that reality, she should live elsewhere. It may take her longer to afford her own house, but you will all be more comfortable.

DEAR ABBY: I have a lifelong friend who lives back in my old hometown. We've known each other since childhood. "Ivy" is a lovely woman who was dealt a very difficult hand in life. She was disabled in her 30s and raised four children alone after her husband took off. Things have always been tough for her financially. Because I've been in a better position, I try to help her when I can.

Four years ago, her eldest child died, and Ivy adopted her two grandsons. The boys are now in their teens and, thank goodness, they are loves and adore their grandma. But Ivy gets no support from the system or her family. I want to help more, but my finances are tenuous because I'm disabled, too.

She lives in a state that hasn't yet recovered from the recession, so there are few government resources available. We talk every week and she's almost always depressed. What can I say or do to help her? -- FOREVER FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRIEND: I am sure the emotional support you provide by giving her the chance to vent has -- and will continue to be -- very helpful. However, it's time your friend investigated what financial resources are in place for minors and disabled adults in her state because she may be pleasantly surprised. If she's unable to do that, you could go online and assist her in doing the research. Please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: What does it mean when your ex-wife leaves a frozen pie at your door but doesn't even acknowledge your invitation to stop by and have a slice when it is cooked? -- MIKE IN MONTANA

DEAR MIKE: Consider the symbolism in a pie that is frozen. It probably means she wanted you to know that she thought of you, but you're still out in the cold.