DEAR ABBY: I live with my dad and my brother. My mother passed away when I was very young, and I was pretty much raised by my dad (with the help of family, of course).

Dad always took great care of me, or so I thought when I was younger. Now that I am older, I realize he has made me the little "domestic" of his house. He makes me do dishes, clean my room, and he badgers me about my weight. He says if I would just lose weight, guys would love me.

He goes out with my older brother to baseball games, car shows and just about anywhere else. I'm not included. I don't mind doing my share of housework, but it has become unfair. My brother is only a few years older than I am, yet he has almost no responsibilities, and Dad gives him everything (his old car, pays to go to baseball games, dinner, etc.) while I must buy my necessities.

I know Dad loves and cares about me, but over the last year or two I feel it's gotten worse. When I bring up the inequality between my brother and me, he claims I'm being "dramatic" or that I have many females in my life who compensate for him. I think he has some sexist ideas, and I don't know how to address it with him. -- ANONYMOUS IN THE EAST

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your father appears to have created a "boys club" with your sibling that you aren't welcome to join, and badgering you about your weight is not only cruel but counterproductive. Men do not fall in love with women because they are skinny. Other, more important, qualities enter into it, whether your dad chooses to recognize that fact or not.

Because you have "many females in your life who compensate for him," marshal your army and confront him together about how he is treating you. Perhaps if he hears a chorus he will pay attention. It's worth a try. However, if that doesn't raise his consciousness, consider making other living arrangements as soon as you are 18.

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol when you are regifted something you bought someone (birthday, Christmas, etc.)? I have no problems with my gift being kept, sold, donated or gifted to someone else. But given back to me?! I found the surprise regift hurtful and insulting.

How should I respond since I am the one who bought it in the first place? Normally I'd send a thank-you note. Should I reply with sarcasm, be ironic or find a regift of my own? Thoughts, please. -- DISTRAUGHT IN NEW YORK

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: It's possible the person had forgotten from whom the gift was received and didn't realize it was being sent to the original giver. Try to dig deep and find your sense of humor when you respond. If it were me, I'd compliment the giver on what "great taste" she had, comment on the color or the usefulness of the item, and then thank the person for taking the time and effort to select something I would enjoy and sign off with love.

DEAR ABBY: I have a great marriage to an amazing woman. We have beautiful kids and are really happy together. The issue, however, is my in-laws. We are complete opposites in personality and certain views.

I know everyone has different opinions and I respect that. The problem is, they belittle my opinions, job, hobbies and habits. I have been with my wife since high school, and they have never liked me. Lately, the problems have gotten worse.

I am educated, have a good job and take care of my family. But every chance my in-laws get, they make negative comments to me, and in front of others. My friends have called them beyond cruel. My feelings are constantly hurt, and I have begun to feel negatively about myself. My wife doesn't see a problem and says that's just how they are.

I have stood up for myself. When I did, my father-in-law proceeded to threaten me with physical violence. It is worse when they drink, which is usually when we see them, but the insults are there regardless. I am scared my kids will see how they treat me and think it is OK to do so. I used to be a confident man who would defend myself, but because they are family, I usually take it.

I am at my breaking point, and my marriage is beginning to suffer because my wife refuses to support me. She also keeps inviting us to their house for gatherings. I tell her I don't want to go, but she says to let things go. I don't know how. Please help. -- STRESSED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR STRESSED: I fail to see how a couple can be happy under these circumstances. That a wife would tolerate her parents' abuse of her husband is shameful. However, that does not mean you must allow it to continue. Dig deep and resurrect the confident man you once were. Tell your wife you will no longer visit the in-laws unless you receive an apology from them and they agree to remain sober while you're there. And because you have reason to believe you'll be disrespected in front of your children -- or it will happen behind your back -- make other plans for them and for yourself while your wife visits her folks.

DEAR ABBY: Maybe I am wrong to feel the way I feel. My 90-year-old mother passed away a month ago. My sister emailed me to tell me the awful news. I almost fainted when I read it. I can't believe it was acceptable to notify me that way. At the funeral, my sister also had the pastor read what she wrote about our mom, and never acknowledged me in her writing or asked if I wanted to write something to be read. What is going on here? None of this behavior seems right to me. -- DEVASTATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DEVASTATED: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother. What your sister did was not proper. I can only conclude that you and your sister are not close, and that she may harbor some anger or resentment toward you that she demonstrated at a most inappropriate time.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter turns 5 soon, and my wife still breastfeeds her to bed every night and wakes her a few times a night for more breastfeeding. This has had negative consequences on our marriage.

All my daughter's peers have been weaned and have been sleeping alone through the night for the last three years. Our daughter's mouth is filled with cavities, and my wife's breasts are no-touch zones sexually. My wife refuses even to consider stopping. Is it time for me to leave? -- PERPLEXED DAD IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAD: No, it's time for your daughter's pediatrician and her dentist to be informed about this because it may not be healthy for your child. Your wife appears to be fostering dependency instead of helping the girl to achieve independence. Your wife may think she has been doing the right thing, but if her own emotional needs are so great that she can't alter her parenting style, you may want to consult a licensed family therapist for guidance.

DEAR ABBY: Our 28-year-old daughter, the mother of two, is in the middle of a divorce from her husband of three years. The divorce is not yet final, but she's already involved with a new man. He is eight years older, jobless, has terminal cancer, lives with his father and is raising his 6-year-old daughter. This relationship seems wrong in so many ways, we cannot imagine how this could ever come to any good.

My daughter is intelligent. She has a promising management position with a big company. But she's not the kind to listen to any advice, and has never made good decisions when it comes to men. Any advice from you would be greatly appreciated. -- UNSURE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNSURE: Because you love your daughter, be patient and supportive. There is no way to "save" a daughter who consistently makes poor choices about men and won't listen to advice. Some people have to learn life lessons the hard way. The sooner you accept it, the better your own life will be.

DEAR ABBY: My hubby and I are in our 50s and have been happily married for 26 years. We have no children. As we look ahead (hopefully many years) to the disposition of our assets once we've passed, we wonder, what do childless couples do with their formal wedding portraits? I'm positive that our siblings would not want or have room for such large photos, and the photographer is no longer in business. I hate to think mementos of such a treasured event in our lives will be tossed in the trash. Any ideas? -- SUSIE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SUSIE: If any of your relatives views him- or herself as the family historian, offer the portraits to that person to be given upon your demise. Or, although the portraits are large, they could be digitized and added to the family tree. This way, your relatives could have the digital versions, and you and your husband could have the originals placed in your coffins with you when the time of departure arrives.