DEAR ABBY: I have a great marriage to an amazing woman. We have beautiful kids and are really happy together. The issue, however, is my in-laws. We are complete opposites in personality and certain views.

I know everyone has different opinions and I respect that. The problem is, they belittle my opinions, job, hobbies and habits. I have been with my wife since high school, and they have never liked me. Lately, the problems have gotten worse.

I am educated, have a good job and take care of my family. But every chance my in-laws get, they make negative comments to me, and in front of others. My friends have called them beyond cruel. My feelings are constantly hurt, and I have begun to feel negatively about myself. My wife doesn't see a problem and says that's just how they are.

I have stood up for myself. When I did, my father-in-law proceeded to threaten me with physical violence. It is worse when they drink, which is usually when we see them, but the insults are there regardless. I am scared my kids will see how they treat me and think it is OK to do so. I used to be a confident man who would defend myself, but because they are family, I usually take it.

I am at my breaking point, and my marriage is beginning to suffer because my wife refuses to support me. She also keeps inviting us to their house for gatherings. I tell her I don't want to go, but she says to let things go. I don't know how. Please help. -- STRESSED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR STRESSED: I fail to see how a couple can be happy under these circumstances. That a wife would tolerate her parents' abuse of her husband is shameful. However, that does not mean you must allow it to continue. Dig deep and resurrect the confident man you once were. Tell your wife you will no longer visit the in-laws unless you receive an apology from them and they agree to remain sober while you're there. And because you have reason to believe you'll be disrespected in front of your children -- or it will happen behind your back -- make other plans for them and for yourself while your wife visits her folks.

DEAR ABBY: Maybe I am wrong to feel the way I feel. My 90-year-old mother passed away a month ago. My sister emailed me to tell me the awful news. I almost fainted when I read it. I can't believe it was acceptable to notify me that way. At the funeral, my sister also had the pastor read what she wrote about our mom, and never acknowledged me in her writing or asked if I wanted to write something to be read. What is going on here? None of this behavior seems right to me. -- DEVASTATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DEVASTATED: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother. What your sister did was not proper. I can only conclude that you and your sister are not close, and that she may harbor some anger or resentment toward you that she demonstrated at a most inappropriate time.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter turns 5 soon, and my wife still breastfeeds her to bed every night and wakes her a few times a night for more breastfeeding. This has had negative consequences on our marriage.

All my daughter's peers have been weaned and have been sleeping alone through the night for the last three years. Our daughter's mouth is filled with cavities, and my wife's breasts are no-touch zones sexually. My wife refuses even to consider stopping. Is it time for me to leave? -- PERPLEXED DAD IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAD: No, it's time for your daughter's pediatrician and her dentist to be informed about this because it may not be healthy for your child. Your wife appears to be fostering dependency instead of helping the girl to achieve independence. Your wife may think she has been doing the right thing, but if her own emotional needs are so great that she can't alter her parenting style, you may want to consult a licensed family therapist for guidance.

DEAR ABBY: Our 28-year-old daughter, the mother of two, is in the middle of a divorce from her husband of three years. The divorce is not yet final, but she's already involved with a new man. He is eight years older, jobless, has terminal cancer, lives with his father and is raising his 6-year-old daughter. This relationship seems wrong in so many ways, we cannot imagine how this could ever come to any good.

My daughter is intelligent. She has a promising management position with a big company. But she's not the kind to listen to any advice, and has never made good decisions when it comes to men. Any advice from you would be greatly appreciated. -- UNSURE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNSURE: Because you love your daughter, be patient and supportive. There is no way to "save" a daughter who consistently makes poor choices about men and won't listen to advice. Some people have to learn life lessons the hard way. The sooner you accept it, the better your own life will be.

DEAR ABBY: My hubby and I are in our 50s and have been happily married for 26 years. We have no children. As we look ahead (hopefully many years) to the disposition of our assets once we've passed, we wonder, what do childless couples do with their formal wedding portraits? I'm positive that our siblings would not want or have room for such large photos, and the photographer is no longer in business. I hate to think mementos of such a treasured event in our lives will be tossed in the trash. Any ideas? -- SUSIE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SUSIE: If any of your relatives views him- or herself as the family historian, offer the portraits to that person to be given upon your demise. Or, although the portraits are large, they could be digitized and added to the family tree. This way, your relatives could have the digital versions, and you and your husband could have the originals placed in your coffins with you when the time of departure arrives.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter recently informed me that she has met someone and the someone happens to be a woman. My reaction was, of course, shock and anger, although I have kind of suspected over the years that she is a lesbian.

She is 43 and was married for 10 years. She has two children and has been divorced for about 11 years now. She dated a few guys, but either had no luck with them or it didn't last.

I don't know how to handle this because I'm against people being gay. I see it as unnatural and think they all have issues. I don't treat gay people any different from anyone else, but I do keep them at a distance. Now I don't know how to proceed with our relationship. Please help. -- SHOCKED AND ANGRY MOM

DEAR S. AND A.: I'll try. While you may be angry, because you have long suspected that your daughter might be a lesbian you cannot now claim to be shocked. One reason gay people have "issues," as you put it, is because they have to endure opposition and nonacceptance from the family members they love. Your 43-year-old daughter has spent years not being who she really is -- possibly to please you -- and now has realized she must be her authentic self.

If you want any relationship at all with her, apologize and tell her you overreacted. Tell her you love her and explain that you may need time to fully accept this. Wish her well and hope that she forgives you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 31-year-old mother of two -- a 3-year-old and a 2-month-old. My children have the same father. We co-parent, which has its ups and downs (more downs). We have been friends with benefits for five years, longer than we were a true couple.

Recently I found out he has introduced our kids to another woman he's dating. I feel hurt because I have feelings for him that I can't let go of. How do I keep from falling apart from the loss of the only relationship I know? I know it's over, but I can't help hoping we will get back together. -- HOPELESSLY IN LOVE

DEAR HOPELESSLY IN LOVE: Because you must interact with him regularly, it may not be easy. A step in the right direction would be to stop stowing your own emotional life in the deep freeze waiting for him to come back.

Because it may take a dose of reality to regain control of your emotions, ask him to level with you about why your relationship didn't lead to marriage. Something important was missing or it would have happened when you had his first child. His response to your question should give you clarity.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my mid-60s. Recently, I had to put my elderly cat, "Taffy," to sleep. I loved her. When the vet asked if I would like some of her ashes, I didn't want to take them home. Instead, I filled a jelly jar with her fur. (She had long hair and I had, for a year, been stuffing the fur I removed from her brush every night into a shoebox.) As a memorial to my beloved Taffy, I added some of her favorite kibble to the hair jar, and it now sits on her favorite window sill. You be the judge -- cute or creepy? -- CAT FANCIER IN FLORIDA

DEAR CAT FANCIER: It is neither. It is the way you have chosen to cope with a painful loss, and you shouldn't be judged -- or judge yourself -- harshly for it. My condolences for your loss.