DEAR ABBY: I recently started dating a man who, until now, has been everything I wanted -- respectful, kind, caring, funny, the list goes on. He's recently divorced, and from what I know, he was unfaithful to his wife with many long-term side partners. Later, he started having one-night stands.
He travels a lot for work, and because I had a relationship where I was cheated on, his travel already is a concern for me. Since we have decided to be an official couple, he has disclosed more detail about his one-night stands. They were with prostitutes.
He says he has found peace with himself and knows what a poor decision it was, and how much damage he did to his wife because of it. He claims redemption, that he has disclosed all this to his pastor and will never be that self-destructive man again. He told me because he didn't want to have any lies of omission walking into a new relationship.
I want to believe he's the man I thought he was and that he would never disrespect me, but this was a huge blow. Should I try to move past this by giving him credit for his honesty? -- DUMBSTRUCK IN CHICAGO
DEAR DUMBSTRUCK: I can't blame you for wanting to be cautious in light of this man's track record. Considering the number of women he has slept with, it's important you have a discussion with him about any STDs he may have contracted, as well as make an appointment with your OB/GYN to be checked for them because these days they are rampant.
After that, if you are really serious about each other, go as a couple for relationship counseling so you -- and he -- won't bring any baggage from the past into this current relationship.