DEAR ABBY: After a lot of talk and no action, I finally made the decision to further my education with a master's degree. At present, I have one more required undergraduate credit to complete at the local university. My husband and I are excited that I finally made the decision and am following through.

The problem is my mother-in-law. She has told everyone I have been accepted into the master's program at a prestigious school in my area -- one I am hoping to get into. Abby, we recently threw a surprise party for her mother and everyone was congratulating me. I was embarrassed and had to correct them, saying that was my hope, but I haven't yet applied.

I have asked her to please stop, but it continues. I know she's excited and proud of me, and for that I am thankful, but now I'm incredibly nervous that if I don't get in I'll look like a failure. Suggestions? -- NERVOUS IN THE EAST

DEAR NERVOUS: I am unsure why your mother-in-law would continue to spread information she knows isn't true. Perhaps it's wishful thinking. If you tell her that what she's doing only increases the pressure on you, she may pipe down, but don't count on it.

Because you can't control what comes out of her mouth -- and the cat is out of the bag, so to speak -- you have two choices. Gain admission to that master's program or, if that doesn't turn out to be possible, level with the people who prematurely congratulate you and explain that your MIL jumped the gun and acceptance wasn't a sure thing. The only thing you shouldn't do is allow yourself to be embarrassed about it.

DEAR ABBY: A recent death in my family has affected me greatly. Her love for others was boundless; her enthusiasm for life unparalleled. Her sense of humor was remarkable. When my spirits were down, she greeted me with love every day and was a positive influence.

I'm speaking about my labradoodle, Molly. I was lucky enough to have her in my life for nine years. My problem is, people don't get it. Molly was family. I loved her, she died and I'm heartbroken. I'm being told to "get over it" -- she was "just a dog."

I understand that some people don't like dogs and that's OK. What I don't get is that they can't seem to grasp that I have experienced a great loss. Am I being silly? I feel like I have lost a child. Your input would be greatly appreciated. -- GRIEVING IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR GRIEVING: You are not being silly. Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your precious Molly.

Unless someone has experienced what you have, it can be difficult to empathize. Because you are grieving, I hope you will reach out to Molly's veterinarian and ask if he or she knows about a support group you can join to help you through this difficult period. Being able to discuss all of your feelings with people who have suffered the same loss can be healing.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old woman with two young children (11 and 9). "Andrew" and I have been dating for almost a year, still learning about each other and building a foundation for our relationship.

My family recently told some other family members that I am "too pretty" to be dating Andrew and I "can do much better." My younger sister even said Andrew isn't good-looking enough and I need to find someone who matches my beauty as well as my heart. Shocked, I told her Andrew has been wonderful to me and my kids, and his looks don't bother me.

My last boyfriend was very good-looking but turned out to be a horrible person. He assaulted me, dumped me on the side of a highway and stole my car. Fortunately, a passerby stopped and helped me. After getting a restraining order and going to court, I decided my next boyfriend would be a good-hearted man with character regardless of his looks. Should I confront my family about their comments? -- GENUINELY HAPPY

DEAR GENUINELY HAPPY: Mark Twain once said, "It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you." I think it applies here. Do not "confront" your family. Just tell them you feel that their comments are shallow and hurtful, and reflect more on them than on your boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl. My friend "Bailey" and I both like the same boy but didn't want him to come between us. We made a pact that we wouldn't ask him out.

Bailey can be selfish, and I know she'd say yes if he asked her. When I told her my friendship with her meant more to me than the boy, she laughed and said that meant she'd get him. I'm not sure what to do. I have liked him longer than she has, and I think he likes me back. He knows me much better at least.

If he asks me, should I say yes and risk my friend getting hurt, even though I know she'd say yes in my place? -- A READER IN MISSOURI

DEAR READER: When you told Bailey your friendship with her meant more than the boy, her response showed that your friendship is less important to her than he is, and the pact means nothing to her. If the boy likes you, he will probably ask you out to do something. If he does -- and your parents agree -- you should accept. I say this because I don't think Bailey is a true friend at all.

DEAR ABBY: If someone organizes a trip for a nonprofit organization and charges a fee, and later finds out that, due to certain circumstances, the trip didn't cost as much, should the money be refunded to the people who took the trip or be given to the organization? -- JUST ASKING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR JUST: Because the trip was under the auspices of the organization, return the money to the organization and let them decide whether it should be refunded to the individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I am part of a small social ladies group. The eight of us range in age from mid-50s to late-60s. We get together once a month for lunch, a movie, dinner, shopping, etc. I look forward to it, and we always have a good time.

Recently, we lost a few members due to relocating, and the subject came up about trying to get a few more women interested in joining us. When I mentioned it to my daughter, who is in her early 30s, she got very excited and wants to join. When I approached the group about it, they were dead set against it, which surprised me. They feel it would change the atmosphere of the group because of the age difference.

I haven't told my daughter yet because I know her feelings will be hurt. Now I'm torn about whether to continue with this group of ladies, since I'm upset that my daughter will be excluded for a reason I consider to be trivial. Some of the ladies have never even met her. There have never been any "rules" discussed about who wouldn't be accepted.

I don't know how to proceed with this. Our next get-together is coming up soon, and I'm stressed as to how to handle it. Help! -- SOCIAL LADY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SOCIAL LADY: The way to handle it is to explain to your daughter that the other members of the group prefer socializing with women their own age, which is why she won't be invited to join them. Explain that it isn't personal, that they might not feel comfortable discussing issues in front of her that she has yet to face.

Because your daughter has time on her hands, encourage her to consider volunteering or joining a social group of contemporaries, and if you still feel as upset as you do about this group, ask if she'd mind if you joined her.

DEAR ABBY: "Russ," my partner of 33 years, passed away nine months ago. Needless to say, it has been a tough time for me. I had a close relationship with his sister, who lives down the street. She and her husband were very supportive after Russ' death.

Russ' sister knows me only within the context of being her brother's husband. Now that he's gone, and I'm back to being a single gay man, how do I set boundaries without offending her? She's always asking where I'm going, what I'm doing, what I have been doing and who I'm going with. It's making me very uncomfortable because I don't think it's any of her business.

I refrain from discussing my private life with her, but she doesn't seem to be getting the message. I don't want to offend her since she's been so good to me, but at the same time, I need my privacy. -- SINGLE AGAIN

DEAR SINGLE: Could you be feeling guilty for deciding to start a new phase in your life? (You shouldn't, because it's normal and natural.) Russ' sister isn't some stranger who is trying to pry. She probably regards you as her surrogate brother. These are questions she would ask Russ if he had lived and you had passed away.

Please try to be less sensitive when she shows an interest. However, if that's not possible, you will have to level with her about how her questions make you feel.