DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my husband of 20 years was in a serious accident. He was placed on disability because of it. Because of the accident, he can't perform sexually because his "goods" don't work.

I am many years younger than he is and still in my prime. I need and want the cuddling and intimacy I'm not getting and haven't gotten for years. I have thought about finding a friend with benefits, but that's risky. I can't talk to him because he flips out and says, "Then leave!"

I feel our marriage has become just a living arrangement. Talking to a counselor or a doctor is out because he will refuse. Please help. -- LOST AND LONELY

DEAR LOST AND LONELY: Your marriage doesn't have to be "just a living arrangement." Although sex may no longer be possible with your husband, there's no reason why there can't be cuddling, intimacy and affection. Talking to a licensed marriage and family therapist will be helpful for you, whether or not your husband agrees to go with you.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Cheryl," and I have been married for 47 years. We are both over 70 and retired. Cheryl is a wonderful mother, grandmother, cook and more. We love to travel, dance, go to movies and play with our grandchildren.

The issue is, she's very picky with the housekeeping and refuses to hire any help because she says nobody can do the job she does. I feel it's affecting our marriage because after she spends a full day once a week cleaning, she ends up exhausted and in a bad mood. I also feel guilty while she's doing all that work.

I don't think either one of us should have to do it. We are well-off and can easily pay someone to come for a full day of cleaning once a week. I keep telling her, to no avail, that she can't keep doing it forever. I welcome your suggestions. -- NEEDING HELP IN TEXAS

DEAR NEEDING HELP: Cheryl may think what she's doing is being a good old-fashioned housewife. Enlighten her to the fact that you feel her compulsiveness is detrimental to your marriage. Try this: Tell her again you want her to give a housekeeper a chance. Repeat that you can afford it. Explain that if she's not satisfied after the person has cleaned, you won't argue if she puts the "finishing touches" on what the cleaner may have missed. If you hire someone efficient, there won't be a lot left for her to do, and she won't be exhausted.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Troy," takes it as a personal offense that I won't share a hotel room with him and his younger son (age 15) when we go out of town to see his older son play college sports. Troy wants me to go to all of the games, but I have said I will only go when it's the 15-year-old's weekend to be at his mom's (Troy's two sons have different mothers).

I am extremely uncomfortable sharing the same hotel room, and Troy refuses to get separate rooms. Do you agree that I'm unreasonable? -- "BAD SPORT" IN OHIO

DEAR "BAD SPORT": No, I do not. You should not be talked into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, so stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: Once I announced my engagement, my already thin, fit mother went on a diet and lost 20 pounds. My weight has always been an issue with her, and I can't believe she would draw attention to it in this way.

She called me a bridezilla because I told her I think she's trying to showboat my wedding because she's the one with the insecurity issues. I would have been happy to elope, but she insisted on this big wedding to show off to her friends and "recoup the gifts she gave to their kids."

How do we get through the next six months and keep our already fragile relationship intact? -- DAUGHTER OF MOMZILLA

DEAR DAUGHTER: Weddings are supposed to be about the happy couple, not a means for a third party to "recoup" gifts she gave to her friends' children. If you feel you would be happier eloping rather than be miserable "going on with the show," that's what you and your fiance should do. However, if you do decide to go through with the wedding, you and your mother should agree there will be no further discussion about weight -- hers or yours. Period.

DEAR ABBY: I came into work Monday morning to the news that one of my co-workers had passed away the day before from a massive heart attack. I was shocked and saddened. I was also appalled that my employer posted her death on Facebook less than 24 hours later.

I don't feel that this is an appropriate forum to announce a death, and I also don't think it was my employer's responsibility to notify the world. In my opinion, the family should notify the public if they choose. Are there any rules of etiquette regarding social media and announcing a co-worker's death? -- SAD NEWS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SAD NEWS: Of course it is the prerogative of family members to post that kind of news. Ideally, your employer should have waited an extra day or two to allow the family to get the word out. However, unless a family member complained to you about what your employer did, you shouldn't be so quick to judge.

While you have experienced a shocking loss, your boss has, too, particularly if the employee was a longtime one. That he/she shared it on social media isn't surprising these days, considering how much information is being posted online, nor was it a breach of etiquette.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend nearly 19 years, and we both agree that we don't want marriage. I just found out that for the last nine months he has been seeing someone else on his lunch break.

He says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me, but he loves her, too, and she is his friend. He said he would stop the affair, but because she's his friend, he won't stop texting and seeing her "as a friend."

Should I trust what he is saying? We don't have kids together, but we raised his two and my one together as our own. -- SILENT PAIN

DEAR PAIN: Should you trust that your boyfriend won't resume the affair with his "friend" -- or that he has stopped it? I don't think so. Although the two of you aren't formally married, you have had an understanding that lasted almost 19 years, and he has breached it. You now must decide whether you want to be part of a "threesome," and for that, you have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother split from his wife, "Charlotte," five years ago and now works and lives in another country. The brothers are still quite close. His school-age daughters live nearby and are close to their cousins, our daughters.

Charlotte's latest boyfriend (they have been dating for 18 months) has started insisting on hanging out with my husband and trying to "bond" with him. He is also jumping with both feet into the role of stepfather, especially with the younger daughter, who has just returned after living with her father for the last seven months.

It feels awkward and weird, but we are too polite to say anything to him or Charlotte because we're afraid she'll restrict us from seeing our nieces. What is your advice? -- ANXIOUS IN AUSTRALIA

DEAR ANXIOUS: Not knowing the terms of your brother-in-law's divorce, my advice is to consider that Charlotte has been with this man for a year and a half. He may be trying to form a relationship with your husband because he wants to bond with "the relatives." Your husband doesn't have to be best friends with him, but he should keep the relationship cordial -- not only for the nieces, but also so his brother can stay informed about them.

DEAR ABBY: I have an addiction to vitamin gummies. They say to eat only two a day, but I eat almost half a container a day. They're sooo good.

This has been a problem for five years. What should I do? Do I contact my doctor? I'm about to graduate from high school, and I think my new college friends will think I'm weird if they find out about my gummy addiction. -- LOVES YUMMY GUMMIES IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LOVES: I am glad you wrote. Your vitamins may taste like candy, but they are not candy. It is important that you discuss this with your doctor. The least of your troubles could be that your college friends make fun of you. What you have been doing is dangerous because it can cause unsafe levels of vitamin A, vitamin E and minerals like iron to reach toxic levels in your system.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion about how to help the child with the broken glasses mentioned in the letter from "Trying to Help in the West" (Feb. 25). I'm a member of Lions Clubs International. Our local club donates the cost of visual screening and free glasses for those in need who seek our help.

The Lions were established in 1917 by a businessman who wanted to start a service club that would help improve communities. The idea quickly spread to other communities and became international.

In 1925, Helen Keller inspired the clubs to become "knights of the blind in the crusade against darkness." Since then, Lions have worked tirelessly to aid blind and visually impaired individuals in the U.S. and all over the world. Services for the boy in the letter should be available in his area, or he can be directed to the closest local Lions Club. -- MEMBER IN WEST LONG BRANCH, N.J.

DEAR MEMBER: Thank you for reminding me -- and my readers -- about the good work the Lions Clubs do. Anyone wanting further information about this worthwhile service organization can find it at www.lionsclubs.org.