DEAR ABBY: I'm an avid video game player. My husband and I bond over playing games, reading and talking about them. In fact, in my spare time, I just earned a master's degree in video game culture.

The issue I have is people judge my hobby as "a waste of time" or comment that I should read a book instead. I don't tell them I read a book a week because I shouldn't have to justify what I do with my time. I have a good job and a wonderful, stable marriage, yet people consider me immature because of video games.

Abby, video games are incredible works of art that tell amazing stories and allow players to experience a host of worlds and narratives that can be inspiring. Many people make lifelong friendships through online gaming or learn new skills through educational games.

What can I say to people who dismiss my hobby as a waste while claiming that reading the latest trashy vampire book or going out every Friday and Saturday night to get wasted is "really living"? -- PROUD GAMER GIRL

DEAR PROUD GAMER: A master's degree in video game culture is impressive. People who regard you as lazy or lacking in motivation are ignorant. Video game design has become a well-established industry. In fact, it's akin to the film industry in that the creative process requires an education similar to -- but even more extensive than -- that offered in film schools. Rather than try to convince those who tell you how to spend your time, focus your energy on what works for you and spend less of it around negative individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem: I don't have a mouth filter and haven't since childhood. I bullied people in the past because of how I was bullied and deliberately hurt people to prevent them from hurting me. At work, I did it to the point that a co-worker called me the b-word and threatened to punch me in the mouth if I did it again. I take full responsibility. I deserved it.

Abby, as an adult, I have become meaner and more bitter and hurtful than I was as a child. Please give me some advice because I'm afraid I'm going to be worse in the future. -- GUILTY AND SAD

DEAR GUILTY AND SAD: You are not going to become worse in the future because you now realize you have a serious problem and are willing to do something about it. Awareness is the first step in fixing it. An anger management class could be a good start.

With practice, you can develop a filter. Rather than reflexively lashing out, start consciously cultivating kindness. If you do that, you'll be amazed at how quickly it will grow. Rather than criticize, first ask yourself, "Is what I'm going to say true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?" And if it's not all three -- don't say it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old senior and have been dating the same boy for two years. A month ago, he told me he wanted to break up "because he needed some time to figure out what he wanted." I was devastated but agreed. Two weeks later, he told me he was sorry and he loves me.

We are back together now, but the weekend after our breakup, I went to visit a college girlfriend. We went to a party and I ended up having sex with a boy I didn't even know. I feel guilty and unworthy. What should I do? If I tell my boyfriend, I'm sure I'll lose him for good. If I don't tell him, I'll always worry that he will find out from someone else. -- UNWORTHY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNWORTHY: You are acting like you have something to feel guilty about. You don't. At the time you visited your college girlfriend, your boyfriend had broken things off with you. You do not owe him an explanation or a confession as long as you haven't given him an STD. Contact your physician and be checked to be sure.

DEAR ABBY: I'm vegan and make a point of being polite to servers in restaurants. I carefully describe what I would like to eat from their menu. Although they appear to be attentive, half the time they serve me a meal with an added touch -- a scoop of sour cream or sprinkle of cheese on the top.

When it happens, is it fair to send the food back to the kitchen? Or is it better to painstakingly scrape the unrequested item off of my dinner? I don't want to waste food, and I would like my meal prepared to my specifications. Any suggestions? -- VEGAN IN THE WEST

DEAR VEGAN: You have every right to send a meal back if it wasn't prepared the way you requested. You, as the customer, are paying for your food, and you should not have to painstakingly scrape anything off it. Some people with dietary restrictions carry a laminated card with them that lists the foods they cannot eat. It is shown to the chef by the server at the time your order is placed. You may want to try it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband died recently. We didn't have children. His family keeps contacting me and inviting me to lunch, movies, etc. The problem is, I have nothing in common with them and no longer want to spend time with them. When I make an excuse to politely bow out, they suggest another date, and another and another. How can I get them to leave me alone? -- ENJOYING MY SOLITUDE

DEAR SOLITUDE: Your former in-laws mean well, and many would consider you fortunate that they try so hard to be supportive and remain close. Keep in mind that you are their last tie to their son. However, because your polite refusals aren't getting through, tell them that while you appreciate their gesture, you are not lonely. In fact, you enjoy being "alone with your memories" and you will contact them if you change your mind.

DEAR ABBY: My mom is a recovering alcoholic. Her alcoholism has caused emotional distress and damaged our relationship to the point that I am aloof and terse toward her.

She's six months sober now, receiving help and making an effort to repair the hurt and pain she has caused. But I'm struggling in moving forward.

My mom is generous, kind, loving, and has always been supportive. I feel guilty for the ambivalent part of me that could care less about fixing the issues she caused in our relationship. It saddens both of us that I have a hard time being kind and loving toward her. Any advice? -- STUBBORN TEEN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TEEN: Alcoholism is a disease that affects not only the drinker, but also those close to her (or him). That your mother is receiving help and working to remain sober means she is trying as hard as she can to get better and remain that way.

Forgiveness isn't automatic. It is a conscious choice on the part of the injured party. To think you are alone in this situation would be a mistake. There's a support group for younger family members of alcoholics called Alateen. If you attend some of the meetings, it may help you to be kinder and more loving toward your mother. Alateen groups are everywhere. To find one visit al-anon.org.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I was late to work because I slept in and my boss was upset about it. But the thing is -- it's really none of his business, is it? What I do on my own time isn't the business of my employer. I don't ask him what he does when he isn't here.

This has happened a few times and I know it might present a problem, but I don't think it's his place to tell me what to do outside of work. How is that legal?

I need the extra sleep in the mornings because I like to stay out late at night, which is my right as an American. If I need extra sleep in order to perform my job at a higher level, then isn't it better for the company that I sleep in? I'm hearing blame when I should be hearing thank you. -- MY BUSINESS IN INDIANA

DEAR MY BUSINESS: Forgive me if this seems harsh, but your boss's business IS his business. Businesses have regular hours of operation, which are usually stated in the employee handbook you should have read when you were being hired. It's the duty of an employee to show up on time and in condition to perform his/her job.

I'm not surprised your boss is upset. It's a natural response when an employee who's relied upon acts irresponsibly, which is what you have been doing. Because you prioritize your social life above your work life, consider looking for a job that starts later or has flexible hours. You may need it.

DEAR ABBY: What is the purpose of high school graduation announcements? To whom should they be sent, and what are the expectations surrounding them?

My son is graduating, so we are preparing announcements, but I'm not sure who to send them to, and I don't want anyone to think we are asking for a gift. We have received several announcements from my son's friends who live out of state. Should I send them gifts? -- WANTS TO GET IT RIGHT

DEAR WANTS: Graduation announcements are usually sent to close family and friends. Recipients are under no obligation to send a gift. Your congratulations should be enough.