DEAR ABBY: My son's girlfriend confided to me that my son, age 35, is cross-dressing. I knew his life was in flux and that his appearance had changed, but it stunned me. He hasn't mentioned anything, and she said he would be very upset if I knew.

When I saw him the same day, I made sure to hug him and tell him I love him. Please tell me what to do or say. -- WHAT TO SAY IN TEXAS

DEAR WHAT: Do nothing, say nothing. This isn't your business, and the girlfriend was wrong to betray your son's confidence.

It may reassure you to know that cross-dressing has been around for centuries and has been present in many cultures. Your son isn't the only cross-dresser in the United States or even the state of Texas. Most male cross-dressers are heterosexual and do it because it feels good to them. It is no reflection on their morals, their sexual orientation or gender identity.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 6-year-old son, "Tyler," from a previous relationship. I have been dating a man I'll call Chad for almost four years.

My problem is, Chad can't seem to have any kind of relationship or interaction with Tyler. Chad isn't abusive, but he constantly ignores my boy and gives him no attention. I thought after all this time Chad would be used to my son, but it hasn't happened. Sometimes he seems annoyed when Tyler is in the same room. I'm not sure if I should end the relationship or stick around. Any advice would be helpful. -- LOSING HOPE

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Your first responsibility is to your son. The way Chad treats Tyler will eventually damage the boy's self-esteem if it hasn't already. Children are perceptive. When they are ignored, they know something is wrong and think it's their fault -- that there's something wrong with them and that they don't measure up. My advice is to tell Chad the romance is over and why. Frankly, you should have done it years ago.

DEAR ABBY: I admit I'm a loud snorer. However, I was on a plane recently, flying home after an exhausting trip. I fell asleep and my seatmate repeatedly woke me to complain about my snoring. Shouldn't the woman have let me sleep in peace if she saw that I was genuinely tired? What made her needs greater than mine? -- TRYING TO SLEEP

DEAR TRYING TO SLEEP: Not knowing the woman, it's hard to say. Perhaps your seatmate felt entitled to a quiet flight and your snoring was so disruptive that, even with earphones, she could concentrate on nothing else. I suppose she could have asked the flight attendant to change her seat, but if the flight was fully booked she probably woke you because she wasn't inclined to suffer from coast to coast.

P.S. I would be remiss in my responsibility as an advice columnist if I didn't urge you to discuss your snoring with your doctor. It could be a symptom of sleep apnea, a condition that is very serious.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 70, I started taking drama classes twice a week (I still do). My wife was against it and insisted that because none of our friends or relatives were doing it, neither should I. As a result, I suggested we live apart. I bought a small apartment and live alone. We see each other regularly, go to the cinema, the theater, visiting friends, vacation, etc.

Every now and then she raises the topic again, saying she feels "betrayed, offended, abandoned" and suggests we stop seeing each other for two to three days "so she can recover from the pain I inflict on her."

I don't think I am doing anything wrong here. I'm not cheating on her, and she knows that and doesn't accuse me explicitly. I think she is jealous and distrustful because the women taking the classes are beautiful and not because of anything I have done. What do you think? -- FRUSTRATED IN BULGARIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: What I think is, not having heard your wife's side of it from her, your insight may be correct. However, before accepting the guilt trip she is laying on you, remember that since you moved out she hasn't invited you to move back in.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother and I are eight years apart. I am in my mid-20s, and he is in his early 30s. Our personalities and outlook on life are completely opposite. We have different fathers but grew up in the same household, so naturally, we went to the same outings together until he was a teenager and we took different paths.

Looking at him now, I see he is an angry and burdened person compared to his early teenage years, even his 20s. He has always had two serious interests, science and poetry. Although he loved them while he attended school, he no longer has the same fire in his belly. In fact, there's no pep in his step about anything, just frustration. How can I lift his spirits without pressuring him? -- LIGHTING THE FIRE

DEAR LIGHTING: Could it be your brother's behavior is simply that of a man who has reached his 30s, has matured and is more of a realist than he was in his early teens? Consider telling him you have noticed his personality has changed from when he was younger -- that he seems angry, burdened and frustrated. Then listen. He may or may not be depressed. If, after hearing him out, you are still concerned, suggest he do something about what's bothering him by talking with a counselor, preferably one who is licensed.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out my married son had an affair, and the woman may be pregnant. If she is, do we acknowledge the baby as our grandchild? And what's the right thing to do if my son and his wife stay together? -- COMPLICATED IN THE NORTH

DEAR COMPLICATED: If a paternity test proves the baby is your son's, he will have a legal obligation to support the child until he or she is no longer a minor. If your son and his wife remain together -- and many couples do -- his wife may prefer he have as little to do with the mother and child as possible. However, if you would like to be part of your grandchild's life, it is your privilege to do so.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is graduating from high school and will be starting college. It was always her plan to go to a school away from our small town, and I supported that decision. However, six months ago she started dating her first real boyfriend.

His parents have offered to pay all expenses if the two of them live in an apartment and go to school at a college nearby. Financially, this would be very helpful for my daughter, but I'm worried that moving in with a boy at such a young age would be a mistake, and she wouldn't get the full college experience.

Her boyfriend is wonderful, and she is very happy in the relationship. She has a scholarship for free room and board at a college three hours away. I can tell she's very conflicted. What do you think I should encourage her to do? -- STUDENT'S MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR STUDENT'S MOM: Your concerns are valid. The boyfriend's parents made a generous offer, but although your daughter may be crazy about their son, she should not accept it.

She and this young man are starting new chapters in their lives. They will be meeting people and forming all kinds of new relationships. Forgive me for seeming negative, but what if the romance sours? Will his parents still be willing to pay for room, board and your daughter's education at the same college?

Your daughter has earned her scholarship. Three hours' distance isn't insurmountable. They can still see each other if they wish. But the separation will allow them more time to concentrate on their studies as well as enjoy the full college experience.

DEAR ABBY: We seem to be living in a time of instant gratification. I'm talking about cellphones. People think they must answer their cellphone no matter what. It's ridiculous.

When I call someone and they answer, I start talking only to be interrupted with something like, "I'm involved in something right now. Call you back!" Once, an employer told me she was in the bathtub.

My question is, why are these people answering in the first place? If you can't talk, let it go to voicemail. Unless you think I'm calling to give you money -- a lot of money -- the conversation can probably wait 10 minutes. What do you think? -- HOLDING THE PHONE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOLDING THE PHONE: I agree. You'll get no argument from me.

DEAR ABBY: My parents smoke weed and do other drugs, and I have no idea what to do. They scream and yell at us daily. There are four of us. I don't know if we should turn them in so we can live in a better environment or just accept it. I need your opinion so I do what is right. -- ANONYMOUS GIRL IN INDIANA

DEAR ANONYMOUS GIRL: No child should be subjected to this. It's unhealthy for you and your siblings to be living with drug-addicted adults who are unable to control their emotions. If there are relatives who can take you in -- grandparents, aunts, uncles -- talk to them about it. However, if that's not possible, tell a teacher or school counselor what's happening at home or call child protective services yourself.