DEAR ABBY: My wife of 20 years has been electronically unfaithful. There have been covert telephone calls and late-night text messages to a boyfriend from long ago. He's divorced and found her on Facebook, telling her he needed "advice on dating."

She admits to the phone calls and messages and nothing more. I believe her. They haven't met -- just these covert exchanges, which are frequent and sometimes lengthy, over the course of several months. The "whys" behind her behavior are not important. We know our marriage is damaged, and we will work on that. She says she knows she was wrong to let it go on as long as it did, and further communication will stop. Should it include unfriending him on Facebook? I'm perplexed by the new paradigm of relationships. -- COVERT EXCHANGES IN THE SOUTH

DEAR COVERT: I disagree that the reasons that led to your wife's behavior aren't important. I hope you two will work out your disconnect with licensed professional help, because it will make the process faster. As to whether she should unfriend her old boyfriend on Facebook, the answer is an unequivocal "yes."

DEAR ABBY: I tutor a 16-year-old boy. His family moved to our city five months ago. They live in a crowded apartment with other relatives. One day, he told me a 20-year-old girl was obsessed with him, and he didn't like her that much. I told him it was unusual and said it was a good thing he had moved.

A month later she showed up, uninvited, to visit him. I think she came here to get pregnant, which she did. Her family now expects him to move back to Oklahoma, quit school and work to support the family. He's a smart kid with the potential to do well in college. His father is dead, the mother is clueless, and I am concerned about this boy. The girl's father and brother are in prison. How can I advise him? -- CARING TUTOR IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TUTOR: Your student is a minor. The "girl" is an adult. The young man should not move anywhere without first insisting that a paternity test be taken to be certain he is the father of the child she's expecting -- if she is, indeed, pregnant. Because of the difference in their ages, she may be guilty of statutory rape, and he may be a victim.

DEAR ABBY: After decades of sucking it up, should I send a letter to the individuals who bullied me incessantly and made my life a living hell in high school? Should I let them know all has not been forgiven or forgotten? -- FORMER VICTIM IN MONTANA

DEAR FORMER VICTIM: No. Why would you want more contact with the cruel and thoughtless individuals who made you miserable? Live your life fully and happily in the present and don't look back. THAT is the best revenge.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for four years. My partner has fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. When we met, he had just found out. He was still active, working, and we had sex regularly. Fast forward: He is now on disability, not working at all, we rarely sleep together and he never leaves the house. I love him still, but I didn't realize how hard this would be. I know he has a lot to cope with, but it's hard on me as well. I have to work, do most of the chores and beg him to go out. We are only in our mid-20s, and I'm afraid for our future. I feel like I'm already 80 years old. I don't want to leave him, but I also don't want to live this way. Any advice would be helpful. -- BAD DEAL IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR BAD DEAL: What a sad letter. You are both young, with many years ahead of you. You have a difficult decision to make. Because you feel you are not up to the challenge of taking care of a chronically ill individual, it may be time to end the relationship. If you are staying out of obligation or pity, it isn't fair to either of you.

DEAR ABBY: My mom, who is well-endowed, is in the habit of using her bra as a pocket. When we go out, she puts her wallet and change purse inside her left cup and then wears a tight-fitting jersey or tank top. The outline of what she is storing is noticeable. My friends and my sisters have noticed it and ask why she doesn't use a purse like others do. She also sticks her change purse inside her bikini top at the beach, pool or at a relative's cookout.

Mom says it's a convenient and safe place for her money and valuables. On a bus trip, she also stored a camera in there. It drew a few puzzled stares from other travelers. What do you think of this? -- NOT IN THERE, PLEASE

DEAR NOT: I have it on good authority that your mother is not the only woman who uses her bra as a pocket or filing cabinet. If it works for her, and she doesn't mind people asking her why she does it, stop judging her for doing something harmless that seems efficient for her.

DEAR ABBY: Fifteen years ago my sister-in-law and I had a mutual friend, "Barbie," who told me something unflattering about my sister-in-law. My relationship with my sister-in-law has been fractured ever since. I have since severed my relations with this "friend" for numerous other reasons, but Barbie is still good friends with my sister-in-law.

Recently, I have felt that I should let my sister-in-law know how this woman betrayed her friendship by telling me her secret. Should I tell my sister-in-law or leave it alone and let her find out for herself? Seeing her buddy up to this person makes me crazy. -- GOING NUTS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GOING NUTS: If a friend of mine leaked personal information about me, I would want to know, wouldn't you? Your sister-in-law is friendly with Barbie because she doesn't know she can't be trusted. Rather than tell your sister-in-law what you were told, approach it this way: "Is it true that ...?" And when she asks where you got such an idea, then tell her it's what Barbie told you.

DEAR ABBY: My elderly father remarried after my mother died two years ago. He married an acquaintance who is 30 years younger at the courthouse with no friends or family in attendance. He told this woman beforehand that there was a large widow's pension he'd paid into for decades that he wanted to give to her by marrying her. She claimed to be in an "unhappy" marriage at the time, and promptly got a divorce.

Well, she and her now-ex have "suddenly started getting along just great," so she decided to continue to live with her ex after her marriage to Dad. Despite agreeing to these terms and because the woman teased him before their marriage, Dad is angry that she still won't have sex with him. Also upsetting is that when they are out socially, his new wife still introduces her ex as her "husband" and Dad as their "friend."

Now we learn, despite assurances during discussions with an attorney prior to the marriage that she would never exercise her rights as a spouse to any other funds or property, she's asking my dad for a monthly allowance so she can retire, since she has no savings.

Abby, do we have any recourse in this situation? Do you think we are right to call my father's marriage fraudulent, and would we be considered accomplices by not reporting it to any authorities before his death? -- STEPDAUGHTER IN REVOLT

DEAR STEPDAUGHTER: You are correct that the "marriage" was fraudulent, and you certainly do have recourse. Your father's lawyer should be consulted immediately to discuss an annulment of this bogus arrangement. Because your father's judgment is so poor, go with him to ensure that no details are left out. Frankly, I think the woman may be guilty of elder abuse, and your father may need a conservator.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in seventh grade. Until recently, I was my usual happy, bubbly self. I saw school as a place to make friends and have more freedom than I did in elementary school. I was always happy and social and made friends easily.

As the months have passed, it seems like, as I look around, everything annoys me. I can't explain why but I have stopped talking to all of my friends for long periods of time. All these terrible emotions build up. I am angry, sad, frustrated. Now everything that has built up inside me comes out at the worst times. I cry a lot and I feel no one understands why.

This may seem like a normal middle-school breakdown that goes away over days, but it's not. People see me crying and think, "Oh no, she's crying for no reason again" or "Why is she crying? What is wrong?" but the thing is I don't know what's wrong with me. At odd moments when I'm alone with my thoughts, these feelings come back, stronger and stronger each time. I can't stop them. Why am I like this? -- ALMOST-TEEN IN TURMOIL

DEAR ALMOST-TEEN: That's a very good question, and one you should ask your parents, because they know you better than I do. The lows you are experiencing may result from the fact that you are maturing and the hormones in your body are changing. However, because you are concerned enough about what's going on to write to me, you may need to be examined by a physician.

If you need help beyond that, the doctor can recommend a referral. I'm glad you wrote. It shows you are an intelligent young lady who recognizes she has a problem and wants to deal with it.