DEAR ABBY: "Ron" and I have been married 20 years and have two children. Recently, he called me a "freeloader" and described my parenting as "half-assed." It's not the first time I've heard it from him.

I work part-time so I can have a flexible schedule and be home with our kids after school. Ron earns considerably more than I do, although I inherited money from my father that will provide security for our kids regardless of our incomes.

I think I'm a great mom. Our kids are healthy and well-adjusted. Although I don't need my husband's salary to live comfortably, I appreciate the good life his work affords us, and I do what I can to show it.

I do, however, expect Ron to participate in raising our kids and contribute to the running of our household. I think it's important, and I have work responsibilities and volunteer in our community. Ron says I do far less than "most of my friends" (who don't work), that he does a lot more around the house than the dads he knows and he resents it because he makes so much more money than I do.

How much is fair to expect him to do to help with our kids and home life? How can I get him to see how much hurt his name-calling and disrespect causes? -- NOT A FREELOADER

DEAR NOT A FREELOADER: Every marriage is unique, which is why your husband should not compare himself to other dads and you to their wives. I find it odd that the husband of a working wife -- and mother -- would resort to name-calling and accuse you of freeloading. Of course Ron should participate in his children's lives. That's what being a father is all about.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Helping with housework sets a good example for the kids. If the two of you can't work out a compromise without name-calling, you should at least agree to have a licensed marriage counselor mediate the discussion.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relative who has just been released from prison and is living with me and my family. He was incarcerated for more than 20 years for drugs.

It breaks my heart to say that he has relapsed and could be heading back down that same road. My mother doesn't want a drug addict in her house. She told him to make other living arrangements, and he has agreed to stay with other relatives where there are more job opportunities.

I feel guilty and my mother does, too. But she refuses to go through what she experienced during her childhood with this person. Is this the right thing to do? -- RELAPSE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RELAPSE: Yes! Your mother has made her feelings clear to this relative. Living with a drug addict is chaotic, and if she doesn't want to repeat the unpleasant and possibly traumatic experience, she shouldn't have to.

By getting him out of the house she is taking care of herself, and for that she shouldn't feel guilty. However, because she does, it might help her -- and you -- to attend some Nar-Anon meetings. The group was founded in 1967 and its mission is to provide emotional support to families and friends of addicts. To locate a meeting nearby, visit nar-anon.org or call toll-free (800) 477-6291.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for a few months and are expecting our first child. His father passed away about a year ago. His parents had been married 33 years when he died.

A few weeks ago, we told my mother-in-law we were expecting our first child. After a joyous moment and some conversation later about children, she brought up my husband's half-brother, someone I didn't know existed! My husband then said, "I thought we weren't supposed to talk about him." She told him my father-in-law had reached out to the half-brother before his death to make amends (she'd had no knowledge they were in contact), but while she was cleaning out his wallet she found a picture of him.

Abby, I'm confused now about how to discuss this with my husband because I would love to know more details about his half-brother. I don't know how old he is, or what happened (i.e., infidelity). Evidently, he lives close to us. We might have met before. My husband nor anyone in his family mentioned this person, ever! Should I just leave it alone, or should I probe some more to see if I can get more information? -- PERPLEXED IN INDIANA

DEAR PERPLEXED: It appears the existence of this half-sibling is the skeleton in your husband's family closet. If I were you, I'd be careful about rattling it. Ask your husband if he's willing to share what he knows. If he is interested in pursuing more information, offer to help him. But unless he is, I do not advise starting to dig.

P.S. Because the father reached out to make amends, the half-brother may try to contact his siblings. But don't count on it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for four months. My husband and I love each other very much. Although he has asked me multiple times for sex, we have only made love twice.

My problem is, sex doesn't interest me. In fact, the thought of it terrifies me. I hate saying no because I know it hurts him, but I'm always scared that I won't enjoy it. Or that if I do say yes, I'll feel like it's a chore just to make him happy. I know that's the wrong mindset to have going into it.

I have apologized almost every time I turn him down. He always says I don't need to be sorry and we'll only do it when I'm comfortable, but I'm scared I might not ever be comfortable with it. Plus I have doubts that I've ever had an orgasm. How should I approach this? -- SCARED NEWLYWED

DEAR SCARED: If you had experienced an orgasm, I assure you that you would not have forgotten the experience. You need to have at least two honest conversations -- the first with your husband, the second with your gynecologist. Your problem may be physical, emotional or a combination of the two.

A licensed psychologist can help you figure out the reason for your feelings and resolve them, or refer you and your husband to a sex therapist. The only thing you should not do is wait any longer to deal with this.

DEAR ABBY: I am an only child who has lived at home all her life -- 44 years. My father recently passed away, so now it is just Mom and me. She has become extremely clingy. She is jealous of my friends and feels I must be with her for almost everything. What can I do?

I think I should move out, but she will take it badly. Also, I'm concerned about her health. She's 71, diabetic and has a heart condition. Is this a lost cause or is there hope? -- HOPING IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOPING: I agree that you should move. It would have been better had you cut the umbilical cord while your father was still alive, but better late than never.

Are there relatives or friends who can look in on your mother regularly? If there are, enlist their help. She should not be allowed to become isolated and solely dependent on one person. Look into grief support groups and other programs for seniors in your community.

If your mother needs a companion and your family finances allow it, hire someone to stay with her. It's time you had a life of your own. Consider it the price of your freedom.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, one of my best friends was dumped by his long-term boyfriend. I was shocked because everyone thought they were an ideal couple, and theirs was a relationship to model all of ours after.

A few days ago, my friend finally felt comfortable enough to confide that his ex had cheated on him with another friend of ours, which was another shock. Since then, I have been conflicted about how to act around the ex, whom I considered to be a good friend until this happened. I am tempted to lash out at him for hurting someone we care about, but I don't want to add more drama.

We all are in undergrad together, so we see each other every day. It's getting harder not to stick up for my friend at this point. How do I suppress my anger in order to be a friend to both of them, even if the ex may not deserve it? -- ANGRY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ANGRY: A way to do that would be to remind yourself that there are usually two sides to a story. Bide your time and wait to see what happens. Whether you want to remain friends with the "cad" will become apparent with time. Remaining quiet may be the better choice, particularly if the "ideal couple" decides to reunite.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 60-year-old widow who wants to begin dating. I have some health problems, although they are neither fatal nor limit my energy. I have excellent insurance and the monetary resources for the needed treatment.

I'm concerned that these conditions might scare off any suitors. How upfront must I be about them? I don't intend to lie, but must I give an extensive medical disclosure on the first few dates? -- WANTS TO BE UPFRONT

DEAR WANTS: I don't think your first conversations should include an "organ recital." However, if a relationship appears to be blossoming into something more than social, the honest thing to do would be to disclose.