DEAR ABBY: This is the 37th anniversary of when I met and fell in love with a beautiful young woman in Iowa. We were together less than a year before she decided to pursue her dreams in California. When she left, it broke my heart for years. To this day I still feel the loss.

In the years that followed, our paths crossed a few more times. Because I was recently married then, I told my old friend and lover I needed to close the book on our relationship. Saying it ripped my heart out because I knew it would cause me to lose her forever, but we both respected it. After a divorce many years later, I started looking for her, to no avail.

An urgency has overcome me now because I have been diagnosed with cancer and I'm not sure what my future holds. I don't want to rekindle something I can't finish, but I would like to say goodbye one last time before I'm laid to my eternal rest. Should I continue searching for her or should I stop, hoping she hears my prayers after all these years and knowing I tried to do the right thing by her when I smiled and waved as she drove away so long ago? -- UNSURE OF MY FUTURE

DEAR UNSURE: Please accept my sympathy for your diagnosis. I'm sure most women would be touched to hear they were the love of someone's life, even if that love was unrequited.

Remember, that decision was made many years ago. What if you find her and she's married with children? Would it make you feel better or worse? These days, many cancers are treatable/curable. If you should find her and you are not terminal, will it give you closure or more heartache? Only you can answer that.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I have a 5-year-old son, "Ricky." Each year it's becoming more of a disagreement how to handle details for his birthday party. She believes that, in addition to inviting his closest friends, we need to invite every child in his school's class.

Ricky is in kindergarten and there are 18 children in his class. She says we can't risk hurting any potential uninvited classmates (and thereby their parents). My thinking is it's our son's special day and he should have only the people there he wants most.

There's also the party's expense. I don't believe we need to foot the bill for extra kids and supplies. Personally, I also don't want our son to be spoiled by receiving so many additional birthday presents.

Where do you sit on this issue? And if you agree with my wife, how old will our son be when this is no longer in effect? -- KEEPING THE PEACE IN FLORIDA

DEAR KEEPING THE PEACE: I do not agree with your wife. If your son would be inviting all but a few of his classmates, then I can see that there might be hurt feelings. But if the number of guests is limited to say, six, I don't think that would be the case. Fear of offending the parents of the uninvited two-thirds of his class should not enter into the decision. This would also ensure that your son is not snowed under by an avalanche of gifts.

DEAR ABBY: I was working out of town in a position that paid a good salary. When my adult son proposed to his girlfriend, I told him I would try and give him $10,000 for the wedding. Well, things changed. I had to return home for good, and my salary was cut. When I told my son I wouldn't be able to give him $10,000, but could give him only $5,000 instead, he became very upset and said, "You promised that amount and we were counting on that money!"

I feel a gift is a gift, and they should be happy with whatever I can manage. After talking it over with several friends, they all agreed that he is behaving inappropriately. I am single and trying to retire in 10 years. Please help. -- SALARY CUT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SALARY CUT: Your son's reaction was immature. He should understand that sometimes circumstances can change. If you haven't already explained why you need to cut back on the sum you planned to give him, do it now. How he reacts to your explanation will tell you whether you want to give him even $5,000.

DEAR ABBY: I recently took a job working for someone I knew. He was a neighbor and attended my church for several years, but we were never more than acquaintances.

After I began working there, I saw things going on with other girls in the office that were very inappropriate. Then I stumbled across a sexual online chat he was having with one of them. As I scrolled through the feed, it became apparent they're having an affair. It made me so uncomfortable I quit working there.

We still live in the same community. He has a beautiful, kind and very pregnant wife. Should I tell her? Should I tell anyone, or stay quiet and let him get away with it? It makes me sick, and I don't know what to do at this point. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Allow me to suggest that what you do is remain silent, at least for now. The kind and very pregnant wife does not need to be told that her husband is cheating with an employee at this juncture. After the baby is born, perhaps she should be told -- if she doesn't know already -- but not now.

DEAR ABBY: Please help! How do I politely tell my partner -- without hurting his feelings -- that I don't like his cooking and I should be the one doing the cooking because I'm more "seasoned" in the kitchen than he is? I am usually the "chef" and he is the "second-in-command," which in the past has worked. -- SEASONED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SEASONED: Here's how: Skip the part about not liking his cooking, which could be hurtful. Ease into it by telling him you consider cooking together to be a bonding experience. Then say how much you enjoy taking the lead when the two of you do it, how meaningful it is when he helps you, and how much you'd appreciate it if he would continue to let you be the chef.

DEAR ABBY: I'm frustrated that guests in my home almost never use the guest towels I've put out for them in the bathroom. Why do they do this?

I remember a little poem in your column that addresses this. I'd like to clip it and put it in there next to the towels. Please print it again! -- GOOD HOSTESS IN CLOVER, S.C.

DEAR HOSTESS: With pleasure -- here it is:

A GUEST TOWEL SPEAKS

by Mabel Craddock

Please use me, Guest;

Don't hesitate.

Don't turn your back

Or vacillate.

Don't dry your hands

On petticoat,

On handkerchief,

Or redingote.

I'm here to use;

I'm made for drying.

Just hanging here

Gets very tiring.

I thought the poem was clever enough when I first saw it that many of you would enjoy it. After it appeared, many readers thanked me for printing it. Some said they'd framed and hung it in the bathroom their guests used. (Problem solved!) I hear from many readers asking me to re-run articles that hold meaning for them. Some say the articles have been saved until they are yellowed with age and falling apart. Eventually, it was suggested they be put together in a booklet. Since so many readers kept the items to re-read, the booklet is titled "Keepers." It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby, Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Filled with clever observations, "Keepers" is both witty and philosophical. It contains poems, essays and letters on subjects as diverse as children, parents, human nature, philosophy and death. It's a quick and easy read as well as an inexpensive gift for newly married couples, pet lovers, new parents, and anyone grieving or recovering from an illness.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it is right that my parents disowned me because I'm seeing a guy they don't like? I don't think it is. I'm 25, and I live on my own with my son. -- NOT RIGHT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR NOT RIGHT: Not knowing the guy or your parents' reason for disliking him, I can only suggest that their reaction seems extreme. By age 25 you should be mature enough to decide something like this without being emotionally blackmailed. Please recognize that if you give in to this, they will be making your decisions for you until they are no longer on this side of the sod.