DEAR ABBY: My 92-year-old mother lives alone, still drives and manages by herself with a feral cat she took in. She's dealing with heart failure, but doing well on her meds. I am 70, an only child, married, retired and live six hours away.

We go to see her four times a year and stay for a week in our RV. We talk on the phone once a week and email a couple times in between phone calls.

Mom says she's staying in her house as long as she is able. She has nice neighbors who will do anything for her, plus a lawn/snow service. We have told her she's welcome to come live with us, but she loves her independence and has the cat to take care of.

She goes to her church group, senior citizens group and gets her nails done every three weeks. She's busier than I am socially. But I feel consumed by guilt that she's so far away and afraid that each visit may be our last.

My husband says he isn't moving, and he has his own activities and health issues. He doesn't want to stay with Mom more than a week because we end up watching QVC with her all afternoon. When we left last week, she said, "My friends told me I hardly ever see you, and I hope you can come more often."

I don't know what to do. Am I doing enough? We pay her taxes and phone/cable/internet and any big bills (car repairs). But I'm not there to drop in the way most of her friends' children do, who never moved away after high school. -- GUILT-RIDDEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: You are doing as much as you can for your mother. Her friends should not judge because their family situations are not the same as yours. You stated that you email her in between phone calls. Ask your mother if she would be open to video chatting (Skype, FaceTime, etc.) in between those phone calls. That way you could see each other's faces, and it might help her feel less distant from you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have only recently recovered financially from the economy crashing. We lost our car, our home and filed bankruptcy. Thankfully, we now have some savings and no debt other than our new home.

It has been 10 years since we had a real vacation, so we are planning a cruise. My problem is I mentioned it to some friends and family members. Four of them have now asked us to bring back souvenirs for them. I feel it's presumptuous. I don't want to spend my vacation running around buying other people stuff.

Am I being overly sensitive or are they being impolite? And how can I politely refuse? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE USA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are not overly sensitive. Tell those folks that your excursion schedule will be tight and you won't have time to do much shopping -- even for yourselves. It's the truth, I'll bet.

P.S. And when you return, be discreet about flashing any souvenirs you pick up for yourselves along the way!

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old daughter caught her father, my husband, emailing and texting other women. He has been doing it for months.

He says he went on dating sites because he was unhappy in our marriage and needed attention and to feel desirable. He claims he only emailed and texted these women discussing relationship troubles, no sex talk.

I'm furious he was so careless that our daughter found the emails (in one he stated his sex drive was very high and asked how her sex drive was). I am devastated that he would do this to our family. He says he didn't think it was cheating because it was only online and sex wasn't discussed. Please advise. -- FURIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FURIOUS: Your husband isn't being honest. At the very least there was "sex talk" as soon as he used that three-letter word in his emails/texts to the women on the dating sites. You two are overdue for a visit to a marriage and family therapist to determine if the damage your husband has done to his relationship with you and his daughter can be repaired. Please do not wait to schedule an appointment.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I were together for five years (married for two). While she was with me I supported her financially and put her through college. She left me a year ago. I was the one who filed for divorce.

After she left, I gave her half the money in my savings account to help her while she was trying to land on her feet. She has found a job now, but struggles to pay bills.

Recently, she called and asked me to "lend" her money to help with her power bill. I refused. While I understand that she's no longer my financial responsibility, I still feel compelled to help her. What can I do to prevent her from putting me in an awkward situation (I have since moved on to a new relationship) without having to be a complete jerk? -- NICE GUY IN TEXAS

DEAR NICE GUY: As you accurately put it, your ex-wife is no longer your responsibility. After she walked out on you, you did the right thing in filing for divorce. You are acting like you feel guilty for doing so. By paying for her education and enabling her to support herself, you were more than generous. The surest way to prevent yourself from being hit on for money would be to respond with a firm and final NO.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 9-year-old girl and my mom doesn't spend a lot of quality time with me. What should I tell her to get her to spend time with me? -- NEEDS TIME IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS TIME: What a sad letter. Not knowing why your mother isn't giving you enough quality time, I can only suggest that you tell her you need more of her and hope she hears how important your message is.

DEAR READERS: Once again, this is my annual reminder to those of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. It's a ritual I love because it signals the coming of spring, with longer, brighter days and warmer weather.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter is getting married in seven months and I'm worried for her. I see many red flags she's ignoring. Because I'm old, I don't think she will believe me.

You have printed a list of warning signs of an abusive mate. Can you print it again so I can give it to her? -- PERCEPTIVE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PERCEPTIVE: Gladly, because it could be a lifesaver.

(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

(2) JEALOUS: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: If you are late, interrogates you intensively about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to isolate you from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."

(8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partners will also abuse children.

(10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey, remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him or her do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it."

Anyone at risk should contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or thehotline.org.