DEAR ABBY: I have a son from a previous relationship, and have been in a relationship with a man I'll call Bryan for a year. Not long ago, Bryan confided to me that he and his brother had been molested by a female relative. I don't know her. I have only met his parents.

This female relative has been asking about my son on social media because she has seen him in pictures with Bryan's family. I want to tell her to back off, but so far, I have held off. I'm afraid if I do, I will cause problems because his parents don't know what I know.

My protective instinct has become very alert. I may be wrong, but I feel like she sees my son as a future target. What should I do? -- MAMA BEAR

DEAR MAMA BEAR: Listen to your protective instinct. Talk with Bryan and tell him the woman's questions are of concern to you, that you don't want her to have any information about or contact with your child, and then make sure your wishes are respected. If she receives any message to back off, it should come from him, not you.

DEAR ABBY: On behalf of all new moms, please help with this question. Why does every woman in the world, it seems, feel entitled to ask new moms if they are breastfeeding their babies? How should new moms respond politely to this question? If you say yes, you may or may not be lying. If you say no, you will be judged. If you give an evasive answer, people will assume you are not and you will be judged as well. It seems to me that all substances excreted by the body should be off limits in social situations. -- MY BUSINESS IN TEXAS

DEAR MY BUSINESS: Judgmental people can get to you only if you allow it. While there are valid reasons why babies should be breastfed, it isn't always possible, and women should not be quizzed by strangers about whether they are.

My mother used to advise readers who were put off by prying questions to say, "If you will forgive me for not answering that question, I'll forgive you for asking." Even though you asked for a polite retort, in a situation like this, my response would be, "If that were any of your business, you would already know the answer!"

DEAR ABBY: A couple years ago, when we moved to a home with more privacy than our previous home, my husband decided to walk around naked all the time. It's not that I'm a prude, but I don't find his furry 60-year-old body attractive in broad daylight. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I have asked him many times to please put something on, and he either ignores me or gets mad. I avert my eyes when he's sashaying by me. Is there anything else I can do to reason with him? -- SEEN ENOUGH ALREADY

DEAR SEEN ENOUGH: Probably not. Since you can't change him, why not join him one day a week? You have nothing to lose but your clothes -- and it might solve the problem.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 62 and struggling to get through the day at work. It's not because of the work itself, but I am extremely unhappy in the work environment.

I have been here more than 20 years, and I have a real problem with the work ethic of the younger employees. They come in to work anywhere from a half-hour to two hours late. One of them takes hourlong breaks, two-hour lunches and then leaves early. Another comes to work and complains nonstop about her drive, her ex and all her aches and pains. (She just turned 40.) I go home every night frustrated and so stressed out I snap at my poor husband.

I really want to retire. It wouldn't be a financial burden, although we would have to cut back on a little spending. My husband won't offer an opinion, but I know I'd be much happier and healthier if I did. Any advice? -- STRESSED AND TIRED

DEAR STRESSED: You might be happier and healthier if, rather than retire early, you talked to a licensed mental health professional about how to manage your stress. You can't control the behavior (or misbehavior) of your younger co-workers. That's your boss's responsibility. If their lack of punctuality and poor attendance doesn't bother your employer, you should not be letting it affect you.

And as to the woman who complains about her aches, her pains and her ex -- why are you listening to that garbage? You have only a few more years until you reach an age at which you can retire with all the benefits you have earned -- and without having to cut back. Please consider what I have said and ride it out.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a phone conversation with a cousin who lives on the other side of the country. We talk once a month. She has always been judgmental and negative about our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., who -- for the most part -- she rarely communicates with. In the past, when she would put them down, I'd cut the conversation short because I didn't want to listen.

During our last chat, she started in on my brother. That's when I lost it. I gave her a piece of my mind and hung up. Since then, she has texted and called a few times, but I haven't responded.

I feel bad for what happened, but at the same time, I refuse to listen to her talk badly about and judge other family members. How should I handle this? Should I respond to her? In one of her texts she said she "didn't mean to upset me," but I don't consider that an apology. -- HATES JUDGMENT IN OHIO

DEAR HATES JUDGMENT: Yes, you should respond to your cousin. She needs to understand that you are changing the rules regarding further conversations with her.

Explain that it has always made you uncomfortable when she said unkind, judgmental things about family members, and that when she started in on your brother, you finally reached your limit. Tell her that in the future when you talk, it must be about positive things and not family members. After that, the ball will be in her court. See if she follows through.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in my teens, and even into my 20s and 30s, I was a Plain Jane. I had little self-confidence. But strangely, I'm one of those people who has gotten better looking as I've aged. Now in my 50s, I am better looking than many women my age or even younger. Men definitely notice me, and I love it.

My problem is, I'm now obsessed with my appearance. I constantly worry that I'll lose my looks. I have even considered cosmetic surgery. I don't want to be the shallow person I see I'm becoming. What can I do? -- LATE BLOOMER

DEAR LATE BLOOMER: There's a saying, "You can fool Mother Nature, but you can't fool Father Time." What it boils down to is, time takes its toll on everyone.

It isn't shallow to have the feelings you are experiencing. But please remember that beauty is more than what's on the surface. Perhaps it's time to start concentrating on qualities that accentuate your inner rather than external beauty -- kindness, warmth, intelligence, generosity, an appreciation for the value of others -- because charm lasts longer than beauty.

This is not to say I don't appreciate the value of cosmetic surgery, which can do wonders for a person's sagging ego. But your appearance should not be the focus of your life because, frankly, it isn't healthy.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the letter from "Military Service Marker" you printed on Dec. 22. When my uncle, a military veteran, passed away, he was without a military service marker, too. His two kids (my cousins) didn't bother to obtain one, probably out of sheer laziness.

Feeling that it was important, I took the initiative and contacted the VA myself. I obtained the record of his honorable discharge (form DD 214) and his death certificate. I filled out the appropriate paperwork and my uncle got the marker to which he was entitled free of charge. It was delivered directly to the cemetery, and the only cost involved was the installation. It was well worth it, and I have never asked my cousins for a dime. I felt proud about having done something for a deserving vet! -- BILL B. IN MISSOURI

DEAR BILL: My thanks to you and to the scores of other readers who wrote to share this information with me. It is important to know that relatives of deceased military veterans can receive these military markers at no cost. Starting the process is as easy as contacting the cemetery, the VA at www.cem.va.gov/hmm/, or a local VFW or American Legion post for assistance.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on whether to contact an old friend who backstabbed me years ago with my former business partner. I'm trying to get back into the field, and this old "friend" is doing well now. He has a lot of contacts that could help me start my own company. I'm not sure if I should contact him because of what he did to me. Should I? -- UNCERTAIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Frankly, I think it would be a waste of time. Leopards don't usually change their spots. If you expect someone who backstabbed you once in business to become generous and helpful, you are dreaming. Find another way to network that he can't "taint," because if he can, he will.