DEAR ABBY: I've recently started seeing someone, and we have shared a wealth of information about ourselves with each other. When I asked him his last name, he said it was "Erickson." When I asked him if he had a middle name, he responded that he didn't.

Soon after, I saw his driver's license. It had a completely different last name from the one he gave me, and it turns out he does have a middle name after all. Now I'm starting to question everything he told me, and I'm afraid he may have lied about even bigger things.

What reason would he possibly have to lie about such a simple thing? And how should I confront him about it? -- JUST PLAIN CONFUSED IN GEORGIA

DEAR CONFUSED: The reason someone would give false information is usually because the person has something to hide. Unless "Mr. Erickson" is in witness protection, my guess is he is married or has a criminal record he doesn't want you to discover. Rather than confront him and be lied to again, run in the opposite direction and cease any further contact with him!

DEAR ABBY: I am an avid fisherman with limited boating knowledge. Recently, a friend bought an older used boat that has questionable integrity. He keeps inviting me to go out on it with him, and I'm running out of excuses not to.

The real reason is my friend is inexperienced and the boat is unreliable. I don't want to be stuck out in the bay in a boat we can't fix. What's the best way to handle this? -- LEERY FISHERMAN IN TEXAS

DEAR LEERY: The way to approach it would be to tell your friend the truth. Ask if he has taken a boating safety course, and if the answer is no, suggest he do it -- or that you do it together.

As to the integrity of the vessel, ask your friend if the boat was inspected at the time of purchase, and if it wasn't, urge him -- for everyone's safety -- to have it done.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has two children, a 7-year-old boy and a girl who is 4. They were at an event with some of her co-workers the other day. Everyone was talking to the younger child, telling her how cute she was and ignoring the older one. It was like he was invisible. He was so deflated.

I remember this happening with my girls when they were little. People always seem to gravitate to the little ones and pay no attention to the older ones. It has always bothered me. So, people, please be mindful of all the children. They are all precious. -- BOTHERED GRANDMA

DEAR BOTHERED: You're right, this happens all too often. In a case like this, all it would have taken would have been for someone to have complimented your daughter on her son's behavior and said within earshot of the boy how lucky the little one was to have such a "good boy" for an older brother. I hope you spoke up. It takes only a moment to say something nice to someone of any age who needs the attention.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Hal," and I have been dating for a year and a half, living together for six months. I'm afraid he feels emasculated. Because I make more money than he does, a lot of the responsibility for paying the bills lands on me. We try to split things down the middle, but recent complications with his job have meant it doesn't always work out that way.

I love Hal. I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't want money to be a dividing force, but I don't know what to say to make him feel better. This has been the elephant in the room for some time.

Hal helps out with cooking and housework, and because of that, I don't mind putting a little more into the bills. I do not want this to be an issue further down the road. Any advice is appreciated. -- STUCK ON THIS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STUCK: The problem with elephants in the room is, the longer they are ignored, the larger the herd becomes. It's amazing that two important subjects -- sex and finances -- are such touchy ones to discuss.

Choose a time when you and Hal are relaxed, and then bring up your concerns. Tell him how much you appreciate him in your life and the efforts he makes to make life easier for you, and that you don't want money issues to cause problems between the two of you. He may need to hear you say it. Then encourage him to express his feelings the way you have.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited by some friends to meet for dinner. We arrived first; they showed up several minutes later. During the meal, the wife said, "I always scan the restaurant to see if there's anyone else here I know."

After we finished dinner and the checks were paid, the couple got up and left the table. We didn't know where they had gone. I put my coat on and we were leaving, when the wife, who was now sitting down at another table with another couple, stopped us to introduce us to them.

I think they were terribly rude. I feel they should have waited and walked out with us, saying hello as they passed the table of their other friends.

This isn't the first time she has done this. Is there a way to politely tell her how rude it is? My husband still wants to meet them for meals, but I am really struggling with it. -- DITCHED DINER IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR DITCHED: If your dinner companion had perfect manners, rather than disappear after the check was paid, she would have said, "I see the Joneses over there. We want to go over and say hello, so come with us or go on ahead." Because you have dined together before, you know this is her pattern. I do not think it is anything to ruin a friendship over.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS: The Year of the Dog begins today. People born in the Year of the Dog are independent, sincere, loyal and decisive. Undaunted by life's challenges, they enjoy harmonious relationships with those around them. Famous individuals who share this zodiac birthday are Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, President Bill Clinton, Elvis Presley and Madonna. I wish a happy, healthy new year to all of you who celebrate this holiday.

DEAR ABBY: My wife passed away two years ago at age 40 after a long bout with cancer. We had three children, ages 7 to 12. I am 44 and engaged now to a wonderful woman. We are planning to have a small wedding with fewer than 50 guests.

While the kids and I are doing well, my late wife's mother, "Karen," is still grieving. She has a forceful personality and can be quite pushy. She lives nearby.

We have not finalized the arrangements or sent out invitations. Karen has been asking if she and my former father-in-law are invited, but we haven't answered her yet. She says she's hurt because she feels we don't want her there.

Is it proper etiquette to invite the parents of a deceased spouse to a remarriage? The only people she would know aside from us would be my parents, who need to bond with my fiancee's family who are coming from out of town. The kids seem to not care either way. If it were me, I'd feel awkward being there. Help! -- LOOKING TO THE FUTURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR LOOKING: Although your late wife is gone, her parents are still your children's grandparents and therefore should be treated as part of your family. While you might feel awkward if you were in their position, consider how hurt they will be if they are not included on the guest list. The decision whether to attend should be theirs to make.

Welcome them and treat them with kindness. A wife can be "replaced," but a daughter cannot, which is why Karen is still grieving even though you have gone on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on how to deal with a friend/neighbor's messy, unkempt backyard. We are getting ready to put our house on the market, and I'm concerned their yard may be a deterrent to potential buyers. Their pool looks like a swamp, and various pieces of lawn furniture are strewn about the yard. Tables are turned upside down and random items are thrown about.

They are friends of ours, but I have no clue how to broach such a sensitive topic without upsetting them. Please help. -- LIVING NEXT TO A SWAMP

DEAR LIVING: Because those neighbors are friends, I assume they are aware that you are selling your home. If you live in an area that's prone to any dangerous mosquito-borne viruses, you would be doing them a favor to point out that their pool equipment needs fixing because still water makes an excellent breeding place for mosquitoes.

As to the state of their yard, your real estate agent may have some suggestions about how to handle that. If you and your spouse volunteer to help your neighbors make it more attractive, they might be receptive. However, if they refuse and you live in a community with a neighborhood association that regulates how properties must look in order to preserve their value, consider bringing this to its attention.