DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl and recently came out to my parents, who are stuck in the "it's just a phase" mindset. I used to be able to talk with my mom about everything, but now when I talk about my sexuality, she gets quiet and dismissive. It's frustrating. I understand I'm still young and learning things about myself, but I feel like I don't have their support as much as I used to. Help! -- NEEDS SUPPORT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR NEEDS SUPPORT: What your mother may not realize is that children usually know they are gay long before they find the courage to talk about it. Young people who receive negative messages about what it means to be gay are -- not surprisingly -- less likely to be open about their sexuality because they don't want to disappoint or be negatively judged.

You might be able to talk more effectively with your parents if you contact PFLAG and get some information. This is an organization whose mission is to help LGBTQ people and their families build bridges of understanding. The website is pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem saying no. I live 45 minutes from work, and because I'm a friendly person, people constantly ask me to give them rides. Today, two co-workers who live nowhere near me asked for rides home. (I already gave one a lift to work.) Another asked me to take him to the grocery store. I like being helpful, but this happens all the time and it's too much. Tonight I'll be more than an hour late getting home.

I was raised with a strong sense of moral obligation and good manners, but I'm tired and just want to go home. I feel guilty for even thinking this. What do I do? -- YES-GIRL IN THE EAST

DEAR YES-GIRL: You should not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Saying no does not make you a bad person.

There are ways to get the message across without seeming heartless. One would be to tell the truth -- that you are too tired, you have something else planned or you don't want to be an hour late getting home. While it may seem uncomfortable in the beginning, with practice you will find it empowering.

DEAR ABBY: How do you deal with family members who always insist they are right and you are wrong? If their beliefs are 180 degrees different from your own, must you just grit your teeth and keep your mouth shut? How do you get them to respect you for the adult you are (they are only five years older), or is it even worth it? -- FUMING IN FLORIDA

DEAR FUMING: Sometimes the wiser course of action is to win the war by forgoing the battle. With people like this, steer the conversation toward subjects you can agree upon. If you can manage that, family harmony will become easier to achieve, and respect will follow.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good male friend whose company I have enjoyed very much. He's outgoing and likes many of the same activities I do. Should I ever need anything, I know he would be there for me.

Unfortunately, this same person is very disrespectful to his wife. He's severely critical of everything she does. I have seen him yell and make disparaging remarks to her, to the extent that I feel it borders on abusive. His wife is a warm, caring, selfless individual who deserves to be loved by someone who appreciates all that she is and does.

Because of the way he treats her, I no longer enjoy being around him. I'd like to remain friends with this couple, but I'm not sure how to. I am very sad about all of this. Please help me. -- ANGUISHED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANGUISHED: I don't blame you for feeling sad about what you have witnessed. While you would like to continue the friendship, please recognize that unless some changes are made, it isn't going to happen. You would be doing your friend (and his wife) a favor to tell him how bad his verbal abuse makes him look and how harmful it is to his wife. And while you're at it, suggest that if they are having problems -- which they obviously are -- they try to work them out with a licensed marriage and family therapist.

DEAR ABBY: Recently my middle sister started dating my younger sister's ex-boyfriend. My younger sister dated this guy in college (10 years ago) and really cared for him. It ended when she found out he had cheated on her. Younger sister is now married and has a small child.

Middle sister started dating this ex a few months ago and really likes him. He has been over to see my parents, and they are supportive of the relationship. The problem is, no one wants to tell my younger sister for fear of her being mad.

I talk to her almost daily. I'm afraid that once she finds out, which is bound to happen, she will be more upset with me (and my parents) for hiding it from her than the fact that they're dating. Should I tell her or is it not my place?

I don't want to feel like I am lying or hiding anything anymore, but I also feel like my middle sister should admit it, which she said she isn't ready to do because she doesn't want to say anything unless this turns into something serious. What should I do? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: From where I sit, you have sized the situation up accurately. Your younger sister will be mortified when she realizes that everyone knew her sister has been dating the ex for months and it was kept from her. Talk to your middle sister. Insist that the sneaking around stop, because it could cause a permanent breach in the family.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old male engaged to be married to my elementary school sweetheart, "Marie." This will be the second marriage for both of us. We've been dating for six years, three of which were a long-distance relationship.

During a time when her mother became ill and sadly passed, Marie told me God had spoken to her and told her not to be sexually active anymore until we're married. I respect and want to honor her and God, but my concern is that we haven't even discussed a wedding date. The earliest could still be six or eight months away. Am I wrong for feeling resentment toward Marie, and will this resentment create problems after marriage with our bedroom life? -- ON HOLD IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ON HOLD: You and Marie have known each other for many years, and know each other very well in every sense. Because Marie doesn't want to have intimate relations again until after you are married, you should not only discuss a wedding date, but also an elopement.

DEAR ABBY: My sister takes my nephews for modeling and acting assignments. They have been in print ads, websites for clothing, and even a movie.

I was shocked when she told me her 6-year-old is interviewed without a parent present in the room. The boy is bright, self-possessed and spirited, but still -- he's only 6. Given the recent revelations about industry-wide problems with child sexual abuse ("An Open Secret" documentary), was I out of line to suggest she have a device to listen in and record? -- CONCERNED AUNTIE

DEAR CONCERNED AUNTIE: Better than that, minor children should have a trusted and responsible adult present -- whether it's a parent, another relative or the child's agent. That way, everyone would be protected.

DEAR ABBY: My 24-year-old son, "Jeremy," no longer speaks to me because I asked him to move out. I'm not a fan of his girlfriend, and I'm worried about drugs. Jeremy and I have always been super close. I am so sad and I want to do what's right for both of us. What should I do? -- TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING

DEAR TRYING: I don't know how emotionally mature Jeremy is, but chronologically he's an adult. If you suspected that he was using drugs while living with you, you had the right to insist he be tested for them -- the tests are easily obtainable -- as a condition of his continuing to live with you. However, for you to have based living under your roof on the condition that you "liked" his girlfriend was heavy-handed. It was wrong, and for that you should apologize. If you do, perhaps it will give you a chance to mend fences.

DEAR ABBY: We have a relative who is a terrible cook. How can we refuse her invitations when she's only trying to reciprocate? We enjoy her company, but not her food. We have gone out to eat, but she wants to cook for us! What to do? -- SORRY, NOT HUNGRY

DEAR SORRY: You have two choices. Either be honest with her or graciously eat her food as infrequently as possible (and when you do, bring along a dish of your own to add to her dinner).