DEAR ABBY: Seeing a child you love struggle with depression is such a helpless feeling. Parents wonder how to talk to them as they withdraw from the people and activities that used to bring them joy. You just want them to feel better again.

Many times, parents tell themselves it's just a phase their child will grow out of, but one in five teens is affected by depression. It's important for parents to know that children even younger can become depressed, and that girls are twice as likely as boys to experience it. Depressed kids are more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs and are at greater risk for attempting suicide.

To help concerned parents reach out to their hurting children, USA.gov has created the free online-only Kids and Depression guide at www.USA.gov/features/kids-and-depression. The guide's sound, compassionate advice helps parents, grandparents and teachers recognize symptoms and risk factors in young people. It explains treatment options, including counseling and medication. And it also includes age-appropriate information about depression that parents can share with their children, elementary age through college.

Abby, thank you for the love you show your readers, and for sharing this potentially lifesaving guide with them. -- NANCY TYLER, SENIOR EDITOR, USA.GOV

DEAR NANCY: You're welcome. I'm glad you wrote because I receive many letters from worried parents and depressed young people. I know the online guide will provide important information they will find useful.

Risk factors for depression in young people include stressful life events, such as a family member's divorce or death, bullying, trouble with school or friends, low self-esteem, or a disability or chronic illness. Symptoms of depression that last two weeks or more are significant. They may include sensitivity to criticism and outbursts of anger, sadness, headaches or stomachaches, changes in sleep or eating habits, lower grades and withdrawal from people and activities.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2015, 3 million kids aged 12 to 17 experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. Because, as you stated, depression can be a significant factor in suicide attempts, the guide provides information to help parents recognize the warning signs of suicidal thoughts in their children.

If you think your child might be suicidal, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling (800) 273-8255. It offers confidential help 24 hours a day.

DEAR ABBY: Should each spouse give an anniversary gift to the other, or is it solely up to the man to arrange for the special occasion and gift-giving? -- SOON-TO-CELEBRATE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SOON: An anniversary is not a surprise party. When the special occasion arises, celebrating shouldn't be the responsibility of just one spouse. The arrangements can be made by whomever is better at doing it, but gift-giving should be a two-way street.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old divorced mom of two. I have recently gotten into relationships with two completely different men. One of them, "Steve," has the life I have always wanted, and he says he loves me more than life itself. The other, "Rick," I love more than life itself, but sometimes I have the feeling he doesn't love me as much as I do him.

If I were to love Steve the way I love Rick or if Rick were to love me the way Steve does, the decision would be clear. I can see myself making a life with either of them. I risk losing either one as a friend if I pick the other one.

They both love my kids, and I love theirs. Both want to build a life with me. How do I decide which path to take? Once I choose, how do I not have questions or doubts about what might have been if I had chosen the other? HELP! -- STUCK IN A LOVE TRIANGLE

DEAR TRIANGLE: You are no more stuck than you want to be. I know what decision I would make if my choice was between a man who loved me more than life itself and who could give me the life I had always dreamed of, and someone I was crazy about but suspected didn't love me as much -- but only you can decide what is right for you and your children. I don't think you should marry either man unless you are confident you can do it without second-guessing yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I am 72 years old and I cry a lot. I'm so resentful of my ex-co-workers and my former friends I can't stand it.

I have lost two cherished wives, two children and one grandchild, while those people still have their first wives and all their children and grandchildren. Why did I have to lose people I loved? I am so full of anger that I no longer believe in God. What am I to do? Do I need therapy? -- OLD AND HATEFUL IN TEXAS

DEAR OLD AND HATEFUL: You have suffered more than your share of loss, and for that, please accept my sympathy. The problem with harboring resentment and anger is that, unchecked, they feed upon themselves and grow. A therapist could be helpful by giving you a safe place to vent those emotions.

It is normal to cry when in emotional pain, but you could also benefit from talking with a grief counselor or joining a grief support group. Your physician may be able to suggest one. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: My child attends a private elementary school. The school is trying to discourage gossip, which can lead to teasing and bullying. The way they do it is, when a child asks a question about another child, the teacher's answer is, "That's none of your business."

Whether I agree with that response is irrelevant because I feel schools have the right to run themselves the way they deem proper. However, isn't there a nicer way to phrase it? I think I remember hearing years ago something like, "Please tend to your own affairs." -- CLAMPING DOWN ON GOSSIP

DEAR CLAMPING DOWN: I agree that whoever wrote the script for those educators was less than tactful. A better way to phrase it would be, "You do you, and stop worrying about other people," which might be less harsh.

DEAR ABBY: I recently was rejected for a job that would have turned into a career. I put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, and told everyone around me during the process that it was looking good. I am humiliated because I now have to tell my peers and co-workers that it didn't work out.

My confidence is shaken, and I don't know what to do. In my middle school years, I used to know what I wanted to do, but somewhere in high school up to this point (25 years old), I've lost my vision, my dream. How can I find my way again? -- IN A SLUMP OUT EAST

DEAR IN A SLUMP: The path to success is rarely straight. Most of us learn more from our mistakes than our successes, so take heart. While this experience has been disappointing, you have learned valuable lessons from it.

If you do not wish to stay in your current job, finding your way again may be as simple as inquiring if career counseling is available at your nearest community college. Ask whether aptitude tests are offered, then research what kinds of jobs are available for someone with your qualifications and interests. And when you are again in the running for a new position, keep it to yourself until you have officially accepted it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter married into a wealthy family. Since the beginning, her mother-in-law has used money to control her. Although it bothered me, I didn't say anything.

We now have a granddaughter, and the mother-in-law is controlling how much time we get to see her. Unfortunately, my daughter allows her to do this. What can I do? I am heartsick. -- THE OTHER GRANDMA

DEAR OTHER GRANDMA: Your mistake was in not speaking up when you first noticed what was going on. If you haven't expressed your feelings, you should. Whether it will lead to any improvements, I can't guarantee. But if it doesn't, and your daughter continues to allow herself to be ruled by her MIL's checkbook, you will have to accept that the daughter you raised has seriously misplaced values.

You are obviously someone with a lot of love to give. A program that has been mentioned before in my column -- and that might interest you -- is Foster Grandparents, which is sponsored by the Corporation for National and Community Service. The website is nationalservice.gov. Click on "Programs" and you will find it listed under "Senior Corps."

DEAR ABBY: My son is going to have his first communion soon. We don't have the money to have a party -- even an inexpensive one -- and invite the whole family. I would like to restrict the celebration just to my husband, myself and my child's grandparents. However, I feel bad not inviting his godparents, their siblings and other extended family. How do I tell them they are welcome to stop by the church, but aren't obligated to come, and we won't be having a party? -- TRYING TO KEEP IT SIMPLE

DEAR TRYING: I don't think it would be rude to explain to your son's godparents and extended family that they are welcome to come by the church for your child's first communion, but because of financial constraints there will be no celebration afterward. It's the truth.