DEAR ABBY: I'm 28 and have been dating my boyfriend, "Spencer," for 2 1/2 years. We have talked a lot about getting married. We know where we want it to be, who will be in our wedding party and what the theme will be.

A year ago we discussed getting engaged. Spencer said he'd propose "sometime within the next year" and last spring it seemed like he was working up the courage to do it. (He was talking about how happy he was and what he was seeing for our future). Then his best friend got his girlfriend pregnant and told Spencer he was thinking about proposing to her. After that, the idea of us getting married went on the back burner. Spencer stopped talking about us, and I think the reason was he didn't want to step on anyone's toes. (It's why he said he didn't want to get engaged when his sister was getting married.)

How do I bring up the subject without coming off as pushy or selfish? A lot of our friends are in committed relationships. If we put our lives on hold every time one of them gets engaged, we'll be waiting years before it's our turn and we can start a family. I'd appreciate any advice you might have. -- READY TO MOVE FORWARD

DEAR READY: Not knowing your boyfriend, I can't guess why you haven't received the official proposal. It's time to talk turkey with Spencer and ask him exactly why he seems to be stuck at the starting gate. It was considerate of him to postpone your engagement so it wouldn't distract from his sister's wedding plans. But for him to do it again because of his friend's impending fatherhood doesn't seem like a legitimate reason to me.

DEAR ABBY: I am a tween and I'm scared about getting a disease or sickness. It started when I watched the news one night last month waiting for a show to come on. The news had all these terrible crimes and diseases, and that's when I started freaking out. My friend says I'm crazy, and I'm afraid she's right. All this worrying has me really feeling out of it. What should I do to quit worrying about diseases? -- SOUTHERN GIRL

DEAR SOUTHERN GIRL: There's a saying in the news business, "If it bleeds, it leads." It means the more shocking a story is, the more attention it will grab and the more people will watch. Quieting your fears may be as simple as talking with your parents about what's scaring you, or having them schedule a visit with your pediatrician.

DEAR ABBY: I am 28 and I'm disgusted with myself about how I talk to my mother when I'm stressed out. I know it's not her. It's me.

My other issue is road rage. When I'm behind the wheel and the cars ahead of me are going too slow or the drivers make stupid moves, I'm annoyed to the point that I sometimes take risky chances to get away from them. I know it puts my life and the lives of others at risk, and I don't want to be like this.

I sometimes wonder why my parents didn't teach me ways to tone down my anger when I was younger. I'm lucky they still love me, even when I snap at them. Do you have any tips on how to control my temper? -- SIMMERING IN SUBURBIA

DEAR SIMMERING: If you think you are alone in having these issues, you are mistaken. We are living in increasingly stressful times that have affected most of us in one way or another. If, however, you continue allowing your stress to dictate your behavior, it may eventually drive a wedge between you and the people you care about.

It's important that you realize anger is a normal emotion. At one time or another, anger is experienced by everyone. Recognizing what is causing your stress and anger can help you to avoid taking it out on others.

It takes self-control -- and maturity -- to react calmly, instead of reacting angrily. Being able to identify what's triggering the anger and causing you to verbalize it can help to prevent an outburst. Instead say, "When you do or say that, it makes me angry." Or try saying, "Mom, I'm stressed right now. Can we discuss this later?" Or, "I've had a really rough day. I need to be alone for a little while." Then go for a walk to help you to regain your perspective. Developing the ability to do this will not only lessen your guilt, but also earn you the respect of those with whom you interact. My Anger Booklet contains many suggestions for managing and constructively expressing anger in various situations. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $7 in U.S. funds to Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. As to your "over the top" reactions when you are in your car driving, try to remember that we are all human and make mistakes. I have made them, and so have you.

If you must drive during rush hours, try listening to music or an audio book. And count to 10 before you hit the accelerator. Avoid blasting the horn or making rude gestures. (Screaming is permissible as long as your windows are closed.)

People who lose control not only can get hurt in a variety of ways, but also hurt others -- including innocent bystanders. That's why it is very important to be able to express anger in healthy ways.

We are living in a time when the anger level in our society has reached new heights. As we have seen all too often in news reports, explosive anger is the most dangerous of all. Perhaps constructive anger management should be taught in schools to help people more effectively communicate in a healthy manner.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeking the answer to this for years. My husband is deceased. Am I still related to his family? How do I introduce them? -- IN LIMBO IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN LIMBO: You are as related to them as you want to be. Introduce them by their names or as your former in-laws.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a long, bushy, ugly beard, and although I don't like it, I realize he's entitled to wear his facial hair any way he likes it. The problem is, when he eats, his beard gets into his plate and in the food, which I find nauseating. -- TOO MUCH HAIR IN TEXAS

DEAR TOO MUCH HAIR: If your husband's beard is so long it drags his food off his plate, the first thing you should do is suggest that he sit up straighter when he's eating. However, if he's unwilling -- or unable -- to do that, perhaps he would consider using one hand to hold his beard aside when he's about to take a forkful, or using hair clips to keep it away from his food.

Readers, if you have suggestions to help this grossed-out Texas wife, I'd love to see them.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is a smart, independent woman -- until she gets a boyfriend. She has been dating ever since Dad died in 1994.

Every relationship starts out well; the guy seems nice. Then he moves into her house and things change. Mom stops thinking for herself and turns into a brainless, spineless puppet. It causes conflict between us because she thinks I'm selfish and trying to sabotage her relationship.

She has had her current boyfriend for two years. I'm 37, disabled and require some help from Mom. So do my grandparents and a family friend Mom takes care of to supplement her income. The boyfriend is pushing Mom to spend three to four months of the year with him in Arizona, leaving those of us who need her without help.

None of these men ever help her out financially. Should I say nothing and let her disappear? What happens to the people who depend on her? -- JUST HER DAUGHTER IN COLORADO

DEAR JUST: What happens to the adults who depend on your mother is they arrange for outside assistance during the time she's in Arizona. And if this is the first time in years that she will have taken a break, you should all wish her well.

DEAR ABBY: One of my co-workers constantly interrupts when I'm having a conversation with other people. It doesn't seem to matter who I am speaking with or what the subject is. She'll interrupt in the middle of the conversation, and everyone must stop and look at her or acknowledge her.

We are in a professional environment, and I feel her behavior is extremely discourteous. The subjects she discusses are things like the sandwiches her husband bought the day before, what they had for dinner that night or whatever is trending at the moment. She never discusses work-related issues.

This happens every day and it's disruptive. Would you kindly share some ideas on how to deal with her interruptions? -- BOTHERED OFFICE GUY

DEAR OFFICE GUY: Obviously, your co-worker was never taught that interrupting while others are talking is rude. Because it bothers you, the next time she does it, tell her it's distracting when she breaks into your conversations and to please stop. If she persists, and other co-workers feel as you do about it, bring it to the attention of your supervisor or HR and let that person handle it.