DEAR ABBY: I am 28 and I'm disgusted with myself about how I talk to my mother when I'm stressed out. I know it's not her. It's me.

My other issue is road rage. When I'm behind the wheel and the cars ahead of me are going too slow or the drivers make stupid moves, I'm annoyed to the point that I sometimes take risky chances to get away from them. I know it puts my life and the lives of others at risk, and I don't want to be like this.

I sometimes wonder why my parents didn't teach me ways to tone down my anger when I was younger. I'm lucky they still love me, even when I snap at them. Do you have any tips on how to control my temper? -- SIMMERING IN SUBURBIA

DEAR SIMMERING: If you think you are alone in having these issues, you are mistaken. We are living in increasingly stressful times that have affected most of us in one way or another. If, however, you continue allowing your stress to dictate your behavior, it may eventually drive a wedge between you and the people you care about.

It's important that you realize anger is a normal emotion. At one time or another, anger is experienced by everyone. Recognizing what is causing your stress and anger can help you to avoid taking it out on others.

It takes self-control -- and maturity -- to react calmly, instead of reacting angrily. Being able to identify what's triggering the anger and causing you to verbalize it can help to prevent an outburst. Instead say, "When you do or say that, it makes me angry." Or try saying, "Mom, I'm stressed right now. Can we discuss this later?" Or, "I've had a really rough day. I need to be alone for a little while." Then go for a walk to help you to regain your perspective. Developing the ability to do this will not only lessen your guilt, but also earn you the respect of those with whom you interact. My Anger Booklet contains many suggestions for managing and constructively expressing anger in various situations. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $7 in U.S. funds to Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. As to your "over the top" reactions when you are in your car driving, try to remember that we are all human and make mistakes. I have made them, and so have you.

If you must drive during rush hours, try listening to music or an audio book. And count to 10 before you hit the accelerator. Avoid blasting the horn or making rude gestures. (Screaming is permissible as long as your windows are closed.)

People who lose control not only can get hurt in a variety of ways, but also hurt others -- including innocent bystanders. That's why it is very important to be able to express anger in healthy ways.

We are living in a time when the anger level in our society has reached new heights. As we have seen all too often in news reports, explosive anger is the most dangerous of all. Perhaps constructive anger management should be taught in schools to help people more effectively communicate in a healthy manner.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeking the answer to this for years. My husband is deceased. Am I still related to his family? How do I introduce them? -- IN LIMBO IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN LIMBO: You are as related to them as you want to be. Introduce them by their names or as your former in-laws.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a long, bushy, ugly beard, and although I don't like it, I realize he's entitled to wear his facial hair any way he likes it. The problem is, when he eats, his beard gets into his plate and in the food, which I find nauseating. -- TOO MUCH HAIR IN TEXAS

DEAR TOO MUCH HAIR: If your husband's beard is so long it drags his food off his plate, the first thing you should do is suggest that he sit up straighter when he's eating. However, if he's unwilling -- or unable -- to do that, perhaps he would consider using one hand to hold his beard aside when he's about to take a forkful, or using hair clips to keep it away from his food.

Readers, if you have suggestions to help this grossed-out Texas wife, I'd love to see them.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is a smart, independent woman -- until she gets a boyfriend. She has been dating ever since Dad died in 1994.

Every relationship starts out well; the guy seems nice. Then he moves into her house and things change. Mom stops thinking for herself and turns into a brainless, spineless puppet. It causes conflict between us because she thinks I'm selfish and trying to sabotage her relationship.

She has had her current boyfriend for two years. I'm 37, disabled and require some help from Mom. So do my grandparents and a family friend Mom takes care of to supplement her income. The boyfriend is pushing Mom to spend three to four months of the year with him in Arizona, leaving those of us who need her without help.

None of these men ever help her out financially. Should I say nothing and let her disappear? What happens to the people who depend on her? -- JUST HER DAUGHTER IN COLORADO

DEAR JUST: What happens to the adults who depend on your mother is they arrange for outside assistance during the time she's in Arizona. And if this is the first time in years that she will have taken a break, you should all wish her well.

DEAR ABBY: One of my co-workers constantly interrupts when I'm having a conversation with other people. It doesn't seem to matter who I am speaking with or what the subject is. She'll interrupt in the middle of the conversation, and everyone must stop and look at her or acknowledge her.

We are in a professional environment, and I feel her behavior is extremely discourteous. The subjects she discusses are things like the sandwiches her husband bought the day before, what they had for dinner that night or whatever is trending at the moment. She never discusses work-related issues.

This happens every day and it's disruptive. Would you kindly share some ideas on how to deal with her interruptions? -- BOTHERED OFFICE GUY

DEAR OFFICE GUY: Obviously, your co-worker was never taught that interrupting while others are talking is rude. Because it bothers you, the next time she does it, tell her it's distracting when she breaks into your conversations and to please stop. If she persists, and other co-workers feel as you do about it, bring it to the attention of your supervisor or HR and let that person handle it.

DEAR ABBY: I have just learned that a neighbor lost his wife. She died during childbirth. As a wife and mother, all I can think about is that newborn baby boy and his two beautiful sisters. It breaks my heart. I have never spoken to him, but I did chat from time to time with his wife.

I would like to offer help to the father, but I don't know how I should approach him or even if I should. Please offer me some advice. -- GRIEVING FOR THEM IN HAWAII

DEAR GRIEVING: Reach out to your neighbor by writing him a short note saying that you heard the tragic news and would like to offer your condolences. Explain that although you didn't know his wife well, you had spoken with her occasionally. Then offer the kind of help you are willing to give -- perhaps meals for his freezer or child care if the need arises. I am sure if you do, the gesture will be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I enjoy going to estate sales. Recently, we were shocked when we heard an estate sales representative ask an older lady if she could afford what she was looking at. The woman answered "yes." Shortly after that, as the woman was leaving, the estate representative asked her if she could search the pockets in her jacket! She said "yes," and nothing was found on her. The estate sales representative followed up with, "You know how it is."

We were appalled, to say the least. We had been browsing right along with the older lady and saw nothing suspicious. What do you make of this? Should we have said something? -- GRACIE IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR GRACIE: Since I wasn't there, I can't guess at what may have triggered the sales rep's suspicions, but her treating a prospective customer in such a heavy-handed manner is surprising. I have seen wealthy shoppers at more than one estate sale who "dressed down" to enable themselves to get a better bargain. That said, I think you were wise not to intervene. To have done otherwise might have caused a scene and embarrassed the shopper even more than she already was.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are driving me crazy. About six months ago they opened a little store close to where we live. Every day since it opened, they have made me work with them, on the weekends as well as after school until 6 p.m., when Dad gets there.

I'm tired of working there. They don't pay me and are very strict. I want to tell them I don't want to work there anymore, but I'm afraid if I do they will punish me. Can you tell me what to do? -- DRIVEN CRAZY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DRIVEN CRAZY: I don't know how old you are, but your parents wouldn't be doing this if they didn't need your help. Please try to step up to the plate with less resentment. By being involved in the family business, you are learning not only responsibility, but also skills that will be valuable when you are older.

What you need to do now is recognize that your parents need you and, provided the work doesn't conflict with your schoolwork and normal social life, be proud that you are capable enough to contribute in a meaningful way.

DEAR READERS: In the words of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who in 1968 was martyred in the cause of civil rights, and whose birthday we remember today: "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."