DEAR ABBY: I am a 56-year-old woman who has been with my boyfriend for seven years. He never lets me come to his place, but he comes to mine and stays every weekend.
He always has his married children staying with him, even though they are financially well off and don't need to. Every time I suggest we should be together by now, another child's family needs to move in, even stepchildren of his.
I left him for six months because I was tired of the rejection. We are back together again, and this last son and daughter-in-law (with their child and another one on the way) are there. Now he's saying he wants to move in with me because they need the room for the new baby. He says that's not the entire reason -- it's because he loves me -- but I suspect he doesn't want to be there with an infant on the way. I feel I'm being used, and I am not sure what to do. Advice, Abby? -- CROWDED HOUSE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CROWDED HOUSE: Your boyfriend of seven years has made plain where his priorities lie. You have never been high on the list. In fact, you appear to have been more a convenience than a love interest.
The surest way to avoid being used is not to allow it. Do not permit him to move in unless you are clear on what your objectives are, and have a firm commitment or he will break your heart (again).