life

Christmas Babies Find Plenty to Celebrate at the Holidays

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 14th, 2017

DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Blessed in New York" (Aug. 4), the mom who gave birth to her precious daughter on Christmas Day and wondered if maybe she should have timed her pregnancy better.

Our daughter was born on Dec. 20. When she was only a few years old, we purchased a 2-foot-tall artificial tree and named it the "birthday tree." She could decorate it every year however she liked. Any birthday presents went under that tree. That made her day special. When she got married and moved out, her birthday tree went with her. -- BLESSED, TOO, IN INDIANA

DEAR BLESSED, TOO: I enjoyed reading the letters from you and other readers who are Christmas babies or have a family member who is one. Their upbeat, positive experiences made me smile. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was born on Christmas Eve. From the time she was 5 and able to recognize that her birthday cards were getting scrambled in with the other holiday cards, we started celebrating on June 24 -- her half-birthday. She gets excited every year as it nears. She'll be 32. Celebrating her half-birthday was the best thing we could have decided to do, and I have no regrets. -- MOM OF A CHRISTMAS BABY

DEAR ABBY: I was born in December and I love my birthday! My mother, grandmother, sister-in-law and niece were also born in December. It's a great time to have a birthday. Everything is decorated for the holidays, and most people are in a good mood. My family never blended the occasions, so that helped.

As to people's comments, my reply is: "Everyone has a birthday. Mine just happens to be at Christmastime, so please acknowledge that." The only thing I do wish is, if I receive a birthday gift, I hope it's wrapped in birthday paper and not Christmas wrap. -- HOLLY IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABBY: I do not recommend celebrating the kid's half-birthday in June. In June, people are away at camp or on vacation, and there's no one to invite to the party.

Early December is a perfect time for a birthday party. Sports are over and the holiday parties haven't started, school is still in session so everyone is still around. Another good time is early January, right after school starts again but the other activities haven't yet geared up. -- BUSY DECEMBER MOM

DEAR ABBY: Fifty-five years ago my husband and I weren't thinking ahead either. Our son was born on Christmas Day. He still thinks that's great.

Christmas always lasted until after the presents were opened and the kitchen was cleaned following lunch. Then it was birthday time! It was special because his long-distance grandparents were always there.

When he became old enough for birthday parties, he could choose to have it on any day while school was out for the holiday break -- either before or after Christmas. It worked well for our family and it might for others, too. -- CAROLYN IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Tell that new mom to cheer up. My mother was born on Christmas Day and she loved it. She said the reason was no one ever forgot it, and everyone got the day off! -- SARA IN FLORIDA

Holidays & Celebrations
life

Man Keeps Wife in the Dark About New 'Business Partner'

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 13th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband met a gal 33 years younger than he is at a doctor's office. It seems they "became close," so they went off and bought real estate together in another state. They spend weeks at a time together there alone.

When they are both here in town, they have "business" meetings several times a week. I am not allowed to attend, know when they take place or even ask what was discussed. They never have phone conversations while I'm near, and their texts to each other are "none of my business."

My husband's words: "I don't know why you're so mad; you're just jealous." Your thoughts, please? -- PEEVED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PEEVED: You live in a community property state. Half of your husband's share of whatever property he and this woman bought together belongs to you.

My first thought is your husband is having a fling and lying about not knowing why you are angry. He's right that you are jealous. You have every right to be.

My second thought is that you should consult an attorney ASAP. I don't know how much you know about your husband's finances, but a forensic accountant can help you unearth any assets he may be hiding or has already buried. After that, it will be up to you to decide whether you want to continue in a marriage with someone who would treat you so shabbily.

Marriage & Divorce
life

Gap in Granddaughter's Garb Revealed Too Much for Grandma

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 13th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I treated our 24-year-old granddaughter to dinner and a historical city tour. When we stopped by to pick her up, she came out of the house wearing a skin-tight top that laced up the front, with a 3-inch gap from top to bottom and no bra.

My first reaction was to ask her to change, thinking it was highly inappropriate. Her grandfather thought we should just let it go, so we went out for the evening. Nothing was mentioned regarding her attire, but I was extremely uncomfortable. What is your opinion? -- BUTTONED UP IN INDIANA

DEAR BUTTONED UP: Your granddaughter is an adult. For you to have asked her to change clothes would have been awkward for everyone concerned. While her choice of outfit may have been revealing, if there was any embarrassment, it should not have been yours. If you prefer she dress more modestly when she's with you, the next time you invite her to go someplace, say so.

Family & Parenting
life

Popping the Question Can Come With Choices

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 13th, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Allow me to offer a tip for those men about to pop the "big question" to their girlfriends: Let your fiancee pick out the ring style she will be wearing for the rest of her life. Arrange with a jeweler to have a tray of rings in different styles in your price range. Then present a ring with the proposal with the understanding it can be exchanged. -- WISE SOUTHERNER

DEAR SOUTHERNER: This is a subject that has been addressed in my column several times. A practical way to handle it is for the man to talk to the jeweler about what he can afford to spend beforehand, so the stones will be available to display to his fiancee, as well as a variety of settings from which she can choose. And, if none are to her liking, she might prefer the option of designing her own setting. Many brides do.

MoneyLove & Dating
life

Husband's Luddite Attitude Puts a Heavy Burden on Wife

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 12th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 40 years. Like most people, we've had our good times and bad, but we've both been committed to the marriage, and so we've made it work.

Now I'm faced with a problem for which I see no solution. My husband refuses to learn to use a computer. He knows nothing about computers, not even how to turn one on!

As you know, computers are now key to even the most fundamental tasks. That means, as the only computer user in the house, all tasks are my responsibility. Banking, bill paying, communication with family, friends, lawyers, financial advisers, arrangements for social events, business meetings, medical appointments, travel and other activities are totally up to me. He does none of it! He washes the dishes and takes out the trash, but any function that requires brains and technology are totally left to me.

I'm tired! Is this fair? I've asked many times for him to go to our public library and take lessons on computer use, but he adamantly refuses. How do I handle this? -- IT'S ALL ON ME IN NEW YORK

DEAR ALL ON YOU: After 40 years you are not going to change your husband, so appreciate the things he does do. I know you're tired and it may not seem fair, but grit your teeth and forge ahead.

You have no idea how lucky you really are. Many wives know little or nothing about the family finances. If something unforeseen happens to their husbands, they are left scrambling to learn about realities for which they are not equipped.

P.S. Consider asking your husband what he would do in the case of your sudden death. He, too, would be left completely adrift. It couldn't hurt to warn him.

DeathMoneyMarriage & Divorce
life

Son Is Mortified When Mom Asks to Change Tables at Restaurant

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 12th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow, and I often dine out with my youngest son. Invariably, because I have a 25-year-old man with me and no husband, we are shown to an undesirable table in the restaurant. Usually, I say nothing.

This evening, we were escorted to a room way in the back of a large restaurant (two-thirds full). The only other occupants were a couple with two small children who looked to be about 2 or 3. When I requested a different table, my son was furious. He said what I had done was rude.

We were moved to another table. It was between the hostess station and the kitchen door. I sat there and said nothing. This was an expensive restaurant, and our bill was more than $100. Was I rude? I would appreciate your opinion. -- NEW SEAT IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEW SEAT: Your son was mistaken. To ask to be seated at a table in a different part of the restaurant was not rude; it was your prerogative. If you preferred a location in the front of the place rather than near the kitchen or a family with small children, you should have repeated your request. And if the host or hostess had a problem with it, you should have left and enjoyed dinner at a restaurant more accommodating than that one.

Family & ParentingEtiquette & Ethics
life

Happy Hanukkah!

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | December 12th, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

TO MY JEWISH READERS: The eight days of Hanukkah begin at sundown. Happy Hanukkah, everyone! May we all enjoy a joyous festival of lights.

Holidays & Celebrations

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • September Sunshine
  • Talking to Strangers
  • Up North With Mom and Dad
  • Grandmother-to-Be Has Mixed Feelings
  • Father Questions Son's Therapy Treatments
  • Fiancée's Devotion to Start-Up Frustrates, Worries Loved Ones
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal