DEAR ABBY: I'm almost an adult now, starting to think about having children and a good marriage of my own. But I have a disturbing childhood memory I have never been able to erase.

When I was 6 or 7 and staying at my grandparents' house, and my grandmother would go outside to check the mail or water the flowers, my grandfather would try to put his hands on my private parts. He wouldn't speak a word to me ever, even if she was around. In fact, I'm quite sure I never witnessed him say anything at all to anyone. But as soon as Grandma was out of sight, well, that was his chance to put his hands on me, then laugh when I tried to wiggle away.

Recently, after I remembered those episodes again, I tried to bring this up with my mom in order to get her support. Abby, she reacted as if there was something really wrong with me or that I was lying!

Not surprisingly, I don't want that man around my future children. I have no real relationship with him. I know this memory isn't something I just imagined or made up "to embarrass the family." What should I do in reference to Mom's response? -- MOVING ON FROM THE PAST

DEAR MOVING ON: In reference to your mother's response when you told her her father molested you when you were little, conclude that the same thing likely happened to her. You should also conclude that, if that's the case, she knew what he was capable of and did nothing to protect you. For that reason, your grandfather should not be allowed to be around your children -- or any children, for that matter.

Because of the seriousness of what happened to you, it would be a good idea for you to contact R.A.I.N.N., the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. Its website is rainn.org and the toll-free phone number is 800-656-4673.

DEAR ABBY: My elderly mother lost her husband and will be moving in with me. The problem is, Mom is one of those people for whom nothing is ever good enough. One of my siblings has already informed me that Mom told her my house, my neighborhood, my town, our hospitals, etc. are not good enough for her. I'm worried that after she moves in and I hear her complain every day, I'll lose my temper. Do you have any words of wisdom for me? -- DREADING IT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DREADING: I sure do. Ask your mother now, before she relocates, if what your sibling said is true. And if it is, do not let her move into your home.

DEAR ABBY: Is it rude for someone not to cash a check you have written to them within a certain time period? I think it is, but maybe I'm wrong. Because I keep track of my banking online and not in a traditional checkbook, I end up having to try to remember to adjust my available balance to include the check's amount. What do you think? -- CHECK'S IN THE MAIL

DEAR C.I.T.M.: I agree that it's rude. When a canceled check does not show up -- sometimes for months -- it makes reconciling the giver's checkbook a pain in the neck and sometimes lower.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman who can't seem to find a man to call her own. Every time I search on websites or at gyms, I can't find anyone decent who lives nearby.

I met someone who took me to his house in Wisconsin for the holidays, but I live in Illinois. Ever since I slept with him (on the fifth date), he has come here less often -- and when he does, it's never just to see me. He also texts less often than he did and has hinted that I should see other people here in town and keep him as a backup.

I'm desperate to find someone who will be there for me. I want to be married before my 30th birthday. I have tried everything, but all the decent men nowadays are already taken or not serious about forming a relationship. Hope you can help. -- CAN'T FIND A MAN

DEAR CAN'T: Your problem may be your desperation. When people are desperate, their anxiety can drive people away. The idea that you must be married by the time you are 30 is setting an artificial -- and possibly unrealistic -- goal for yourself.

It may be time to stop looking and begin concentrating on building a satisfying life for yourself without help from a partner. Once you accomplish that, you may find that both men and women find you more attractive to be around. I can't guarantee that it will help you to find a husband, but even if you don't, you will have a happier life. Not everyone needs to be married.

DEAR ABBY: I have twin grandsons. One is kind, mannerly and thoughtful. The other is rude, ungrateful and has a chip on his shoulder.

Every Christmas and birthday, my husband and I are generous with our gifts to them. One grandson thanks us, while the other does not even acknowledge the gift. I no longer want to continue giving the rude twin gifts, but I don't know if this is the way to deal with the problem. They will be 18 on their next birthday.

My daughter has never corrected the problem, and I know she will accuse me of favoring the kind twin. What to do? -- GRAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRAN: If it were me, I'd give the grateful twin gifts worth the usual amount of money and the ungrateful one a token present. And when your daughter accuses you of favoritism, tell her she's absolutely right and also why you no longer felt inclined to shell out to someone who didn't think your generosity was worth acknowledging. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I am 53 and constantly worry about the future. Because my husband has had to change jobs for various reasons, we have no money fund for retirement, and it isn't offered at his current job. I worry so much about the future that it's keeping me from enjoying the present. How can I stop worrying like this so I can enjoy the present? Talking to a doctor is not an option as money is very tight. -- WORRYING TOO MUCH

DEAR WORRYING: You didn't mention whether you are currently employed. If you aren't, a way to fix your problem might be to start thinking about your own earning capacity and find a job so you can build a retirement fund. It's never too late to start.

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I asked a close female friend to help me prepare a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary. I wanted to create a photo album of sexy nude photos of myself. Her excellent camerawork provided me with a wonderful collection, and my husband loved it.

I recently found out on social media that my girlfriend's husband viewed and copied my private photos, and shared them online with mutual male friends of ours. I'm devastated. My girlfriend is sorry to the max.

My husband isn't yet aware of my exposure to others. I don't want to tell him, but at the same time, I don't want some guy spilling the beans. My girlfriend is helping to stop the sharing of my pictures. Should I hope for the best or tell my husband? -- ASHAMED IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ASHAMED: Inform your husband immediately about what happened because he needs to hear it from you.

Your friend's carelessness in allowing her husband to see -- and share -- the photos was deplorable. It is nearly impossible now that those images have been posted online to stop their proliferation. That your friend's husband would display such immaturity and poor judgment by showing them around is shocking.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are at opposite ends of the political spectrum: I am conservative; she is liberal. We do our best not to argue about our strongly held views, but sometimes we are unsuccessful.

My problem is, she'll have three TVs going, all tuned to her favorite political channel, while doing housework. I find it annoying. I usually leave the room when she's going to do prolonged work in our home office and informs me that she will be listening to her channel. It's the three-TV thing that I would like stopped. What do you suggest? -- INUNDATED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR INUNDATED: Your wife should show you the same consideration that you show to her. In this case, she does not have to have three TVs blaring "her" channel throughout your home while she does housecleaning. She should have one television set on in the room she is in.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had not seen a dentist in 18 years. I come from a family of dentists, and dental health is very important to me. When I finally convinced my husband to go to the dentist because he'd broken a front tooth, he ended up needing eight extractions!

I'm happy he finally saw a dentist, but he rarely wears the bridges the dentist made for him. He looks like a jack-o'-lantern, and I'm embarrassed to be with him in public. I am having such a hard time with this that I no longer know if I can stay in this marriage.

He is a good man and a great husband and father, but his lack of teeth is almost more than I can handle. Any advice on how I can get him to wear his dentures daily? -- EMBARRASSED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your husband may not be wearing the bridges the dentist made because they are uncomfortable. You may be able to convince him to wear them by encouraging him to return to the dentist who made them and have them adjusted until they fit properly.