life

Wife's Private Photo Album Makes Its Way Onto the Web

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 29th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I asked a close female friend to help me prepare a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary. I wanted to create a photo album of sexy nude photos of myself. Her excellent camerawork provided me with a wonderful collection, and my husband loved it.

I recently found out on social media that my girlfriend's husband viewed and copied my private photos, and shared them online with mutual male friends of ours. I'm devastated. My girlfriend is sorry to the max.

My husband isn't yet aware of my exposure to others. I don't want to tell him, but at the same time, I don't want some guy spilling the beans. My girlfriend is helping to stop the sharing of my pictures. Should I hope for the best or tell my husband? -- ASHAMED IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ASHAMED: Inform your husband immediately about what happened because he needs to hear it from you.

Your friend's carelessness in allowing her husband to see -- and share -- the photos was deplorable. It is nearly impossible now that those images have been posted online to stop their proliferation. That your friend's husband would display such immaturity and poor judgment by showing them around is shocking.

Holidays & CelebrationsFriends & Neighbors
life

Conservative Husband Looks for Escape From Wife's Liberal Television Shows

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 29th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are at opposite ends of the political spectrum: I am conservative; she is liberal. We do our best not to argue about our strongly held views, but sometimes we are unsuccessful.

My problem is, she'll have three TVs going, all tuned to her favorite political channel, while doing housework. I find it annoying. I usually leave the room when she's going to do prolonged work in our home office and informs me that she will be listening to her channel. It's the three-TV thing that I would like stopped. What do you suggest? -- INUNDATED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR INUNDATED: Your wife should show you the same consideration that you show to her. In this case, she does not have to have three TVs blaring "her" channel throughout your home while she does housecleaning. She should have one television set on in the room she is in.

Marriage & Divorce
life

Wife Can't Put a Good Face on Husband's Toothless Grin

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 29th, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband had not seen a dentist in 18 years. I come from a family of dentists, and dental health is very important to me. When I finally convinced my husband to go to the dentist because he'd broken a front tooth, he ended up needing eight extractions!

I'm happy he finally saw a dentist, but he rarely wears the bridges the dentist made for him. He looks like a jack-o'-lantern, and I'm embarrassed to be with him in public. I am having such a hard time with this that I no longer know if I can stay in this marriage.

He is a good man and a great husband and father, but his lack of teeth is almost more than I can handle. Any advice on how I can get him to wear his dentures daily? -- EMBARRASSED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your husband may not be wearing the bridges the dentist made because they are uncomfortable. You may be able to convince him to wear them by encouraging him to return to the dentist who made them and have them adjusted until they fit properly.

Health & SafetyMarriage & Divorce
life

Young Couple Seem to Click Better When They're Apart

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 28th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. When I'm with him, I often find him annoying and think we have nothing in common. But when we are apart, I miss him a lot -- especially when one of us travels for work.

When we're apart and talk on the phone, we have amazing conversations and discuss a future together. But when we're together, we don't talk as much, and he never mentions a future together.

I'm confused. Is this normal for relationships? I don't want to stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere, and it has been like this since pretty early on. How can I know if I should invest more of my time or if I should end it and move on? -- PERPLEXED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR PERPLEXED: If neither of you is particularly talkative and there are a lot of distractions when you are together, then it's normal. When you are apart, it's possible that you miss -- and idealize -- each other, which is why those conversations about a future happen. The way to determine whether you should invest more time in this relationship would be to ask him, and just as plainly as you addressed that question to me.

Love & Dating
life

Easy-to-Read House Addresses Lighten the Load for Package Delivery People

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 28th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Could you please print this on behalf of delivery people everywhere? Folks: Please make sure your address is visible from the street.

I can't tell you how many times I have had to drive up and down a street trying to figure out which house I'm supposed to deliver to. Sometimes, I can see the number on the curb. But many times, it's impossible to spot -- and I deliver during the day. I can only begin to imagine how hard it is for couriers who deliver at night. So do us a favor. Make sure your house number is visible from the street. -- WENDY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WENDY: I'm glad you wrote. People in your profession are not the only ones who struggle with this problem. I have also heard from fire and emergency personnel complaining about the same issue when the situation wasn't just inconvenient, but life-threatening. Readers, please take a moment to walk to the curb and see if your street address is visible. Fixing the problem could be as simple as trimming some bushes.

Holidays & CelebrationsHealth & Safety
life

Shouting Match Erupts Over Proper Microwave Operation

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 28th, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been arguing over whether food must be covered while it's being heated in the microwave. I always cover it because it takes little effort and prevents splatters. He refuses, unless the food is very saucy or greasy. When I ask why he won't do it, he has no answer.

It would be one thing if he routinely cleaned the microwave, but he never does, leaving me to do it. This has caused shouting matches between us. How can we settle this, short of throwing away the microwave? -- UNCOVERED OUT WEST

DEAR UNCOVERED: Do not toss out a perfectly good microwave over this issue. Praise your husband when he covers the saucy/greasy foods, and remember to throw a paper towel over his dinner when he "forgets."

Marriage & Divorce
life

Well-Paid Son Is Slow to Pay Debts He Owes to His Parents

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 27th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son, "Jay," would like to come home for Christmas. I'm paying, so I made his reservation yesterday. Late last night, he told my husband he needs to go back two days early because of work. This change will cost around $150 more than the $215 I'm already paying.

Although my son earns a six-figure salary, he is unable to pay his student/parent loan on time each month. When he's late, I get harassing emails and phone calls. The loan is in my name because Jay blew all the $60,000 he got from a settlement, and he begged me to do this for him so he could graduate.

My husband and I are retired, but we both work part-time. Jay and his sister are reluctant to pay for their tickets when they want to see us. They each live an hour plane ride away. They always seem to have enough money to travel and do what they want to do. I am so upset, I'd like to cancel the holidays because I feel we are being taken advantage of. What do you think? -- NAUGHTY, NOT NICE

DEAR N.N.N.: I think that rather than cancel the holidays, you and your husband should use the visit to inform your 25-year-old son that it's time to grow up and pay his bills. Because he now has a six-figure income -- thanks to your generosity -- he should assume responsibility for his student loan debt and pay it on time. And if he doesn't, consider reviewing your estate plan and subtracting what he owes you.

Family & ParentingMoneyHolidays & Celebrations
life

Date's Interest Turns to Sympathy When Man Reveals He's a Widower

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | November 27th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm 37. When I was 32, after having been together for 15 years and married for seven, my wife died suddenly. I grieved, but have finally been able to start thinking about my future.

I recently started dating -- well, one date, to be exact -- and when I mentioned that I was a widower, I immediately saw her interest turn to pure sympathy. I tried to elaborate on it, stating that it had been some time ago and that I'm ready to start the next phase of my life. (I want a family.)

Friends have advised me, "Do not tell women you're a widower until you have been dating for some time," but I find it nearly impossible to talk about my past without mentioning my late wife. She was a major part of my life for almost half of it -- and for all of my adult life, including the last five years she hasn't been here. Is it possible to tell someone that you are a widower and not let her sympathy overwhelm any other emotion? -- YOUNG-ISH WIDOWER IN COLORADO

DEAR WIDOWER: An expression of sympathy is the appropriate reaction when you tell someone a loved one died. What you must avoid is allowing your late wife to be the main topic of conversation, and make an effort to talk about your date's interests, mutual interests and plans for the future.

DeathLove & Dating

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