DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. When I'm with him, I often find him annoying and think we have nothing in common. But when we are apart, I miss him a lot -- especially when one of us travels for work.

When we're apart and talk on the phone, we have amazing conversations and discuss a future together. But when we're together, we don't talk as much, and he never mentions a future together.

I'm confused. Is this normal for relationships? I don't want to stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere, and it has been like this since pretty early on. How can I know if I should invest more of my time or if I should end it and move on? -- PERPLEXED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR PERPLEXED: If neither of you is particularly talkative and there are a lot of distractions when you are together, then it's normal. When you are apart, it's possible that you miss -- and idealize -- each other, which is why those conversations about a future happen. The way to determine whether you should invest more time in this relationship would be to ask him, and just as plainly as you addressed that question to me.

DEAR ABBY: Could you please print this on behalf of delivery people everywhere? Folks: Please make sure your address is visible from the street.

I can't tell you how many times I have had to drive up and down a street trying to figure out which house I'm supposed to deliver to. Sometimes, I can see the number on the curb. But many times, it's impossible to spot -- and I deliver during the day. I can only begin to imagine how hard it is for couriers who deliver at night. So do us a favor. Make sure your house number is visible from the street. -- WENDY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WENDY: I'm glad you wrote. People in your profession are not the only ones who struggle with this problem. I have also heard from fire and emergency personnel complaining about the same issue when the situation wasn't just inconvenient, but life-threatening. Readers, please take a moment to walk to the curb and see if your street address is visible. Fixing the problem could be as simple as trimming some bushes.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been arguing over whether food must be covered while it's being heated in the microwave. I always cover it because it takes little effort and prevents splatters. He refuses, unless the food is very saucy or greasy. When I ask why he won't do it, he has no answer.

It would be one thing if he routinely cleaned the microwave, but he never does, leaving me to do it. This has caused shouting matches between us. How can we settle this, short of throwing away the microwave? -- UNCOVERED OUT WEST

DEAR UNCOVERED: Do not toss out a perfectly good microwave over this issue. Praise your husband when he covers the saucy/greasy foods, and remember to throw a paper towel over his dinner when he "forgets."

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son, "Jay," would like to come home for Christmas. I'm paying, so I made his reservation yesterday. Late last night, he told my husband he needs to go back two days early because of work. This change will cost around $150 more than the $215 I'm already paying.

Although my son earns a six-figure salary, he is unable to pay his student/parent loan on time each month. When he's late, I get harassing emails and phone calls. The loan is in my name because Jay blew all the $60,000 he got from a settlement, and he begged me to do this for him so he could graduate.

My husband and I are retired, but we both work part-time. Jay and his sister are reluctant to pay for their tickets when they want to see us. They each live an hour plane ride away. They always seem to have enough money to travel and do what they want to do. I am so upset, I'd like to cancel the holidays because I feel we are being taken advantage of. What do you think? -- NAUGHTY, NOT NICE

DEAR N.N.N.: I think that rather than cancel the holidays, you and your husband should use the visit to inform your 25-year-old son that it's time to grow up and pay his bills. Because he now has a six-figure income -- thanks to your generosity -- he should assume responsibility for his student loan debt and pay it on time. And if he doesn't, consider reviewing your estate plan and subtracting what he owes you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 37. When I was 32, after having been together for 15 years and married for seven, my wife died suddenly. I grieved, but have finally been able to start thinking about my future.

I recently started dating -- well, one date, to be exact -- and when I mentioned that I was a widower, I immediately saw her interest turn to pure sympathy. I tried to elaborate on it, stating that it had been some time ago and that I'm ready to start the next phase of my life. (I want a family.)

Friends have advised me, "Do not tell women you're a widower until you have been dating for some time," but I find it nearly impossible to talk about my past without mentioning my late wife. She was a major part of my life for almost half of it -- and for all of my adult life, including the last five years she hasn't been here. Is it possible to tell someone that you are a widower and not let her sympathy overwhelm any other emotion? -- YOUNG-ISH WIDOWER IN COLORADO

DEAR WIDOWER: An expression of sympathy is the appropriate reaction when you tell someone a loved one died. What you must avoid is allowing your late wife to be the main topic of conversation, and make an effort to talk about your date's interests, mutual interests and plans for the future.

DEAR ABBY: I have hearing loss. My insurance isn't very good, and the monthly payments for hearing aids are the equivalent of a car payment, so I try my best and do without. People who know about my hearing loss will talk louder for me or let me know when they need my attention. Even strangers will repeat themselves or talk louder if I say I'm hard of hearing.

The problem is that my husband refuses to talk louder for me or make any attempt to improve our communication. He has gone as far as to threaten that he just won't talk to me anymore because he's sick of repeating himself. No matter how many times I say I can't hear, he practically whispers or will scream at the top of his lungs at me to make a point. It's like he's taking my hearing loss personally, as though somehow my hearing loss is my fault. I also feel he may have an ulterior motive for talking softer.

I feel depressed and isolated, and I'm not sure what to do. My marriage is falling apart. Any advice is appreciated. -- I CAN'T HEAR YOU IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAN'T HEAR: Of course you feel depressed and isolated! Your husband either doesn't like or hasn't accepted the fact that you have a hearing disability, so he's punishing you for it. What he's doing is emotionally abusive.

Please have your hearing checked by an audiologist to determine how much of your hearing you have lost. Take your husband along so a professional can explain it to him. And be sure to ask if there may be lower-cost options for an assistive device that won't bust your budget.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 17, I was engaged to a serviceman. I broke the engagement because my mother disapproved. I was young, naive, had no job or money, and I had never disobeyed my mom.

Big mistake! I have paid for it for more than 50 years. I have raised a family, but my heart is still with my young military man. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of him. I've dreamt about him all these years. I still cry and feel I can hardly breathe sometimes. I still love him. Thoughts of him are consuming my life. I wonder if anyone else has had these feelings this long.

I don't want to risk disturbing two families by contacting him in another state to apologize. Please advise me about what to do. -- SEEKING CLOSURE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SEEKING CLOSURE: There is no magic wand I can wave to make those feelings go away. I can, however, point out that your memories of that young man are from the perspective of a 17-year-old girl with little life experience. Viewed from that perspective, the life (and person) you have idealized may be far from reality.

Because these thoughts have become obsessive, it would benefit you to talk them through with a licensed mental health professional. Please don't put it off any longer, because it's clear from what you have written that you are hurting and need professional help.