DEAR ABBY: I am a lesbian. My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months. We have an awesome relationship and are very happy and open with each other.

I know she has dated guys in the past -- so have I -- so I'm not worried about that nonsense at all. But I recently found something of hers that surprised me. It was a container of pregnancy tests, and one was missing with a Plan B pill alongside of it. I am not mad about it because I know stuff happens, but I would rather that it not happen in our apartment.

I'm tempted to bring it up, but I would honestly rather not discuss it at all. I just don't want anything happening in the apartment. Would it be weird if I just threw the stuff out without telling her, or should I say something?

What if she wants to keep it? I don't think that would be the case, but it would start a fight because, as a female couple, we obviously don't need a pregnancy test. I know I am overthinking this, and I could use some advice on how to handle this uncomfortable situation. -- SURPRISED ABOUT IT

DEAR SURPRISED: I'm glad you asked. Do not "quietly" throw out those pregnancy tests or the medication. I don't know what kind of arrangement you have with your live-in girlfriend, but if fidelity was part of the agreement, you should absolutely talk with her about what you found. It does not have to degenerate into a fight, but it's important that you know why she feels the need to be in an intimate relationship, regardless of gender, with someone else.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a wonderful life and much to be thankful for, but we have no children and are usually alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Everyone makes such a fuss about sharing these holidays with loved ones, but I become depressed during this season.

I do volunteer work on these holidays, but still feel sad and like everyone else in the country is having a better time than I am. Any suggestions? -- NOT SO JOLLY IN ARIZONA

DEAR NOT SO JOLLY: You must be a new reader of my column or you would know that every year around holiday time I receive letters from people like you, expressing that rather than feeling joyful and elated, they feel depressed and deprived. Some of it may be the result of the incessant marketing of these holidays, which gives the impression that "everyone" is having a grand old time sipping cider, stuffing themselves with turkey and caroling under the windows of their neighbors.

An antidote for your holiday blues might be to do more than volunteer. Why don't you and your husband plan to do something special to treat yourselves, rather than stay home feeling like everyone else is enjoying themselves? Choose a different destination each year to visit and learn about.

Or invite some friends or acquaintances to join you at home. There's a saying that misery loves company, and in your case, company might be the solution to the problem.

DEAR ABBY: After my future son-in-law moved in with our daughter, my husband and I stopped by unannounced to visit. He answered the door in his underwear and never bothered to go put on a pair of shorts. We didn't say anything and, of course, didn't stay long.

It was close to Christmas, so we bought him a robe and my husband jokingly told him, "We figured you didn't have one since you stay in your underwear when we're here." Even after that, he still does it.

I finally told my daughter, "Since he can't take a hint, please tell him to put on clothes when I'm coming over." Since then, when we've stopped by (dropping off the grandbabies) he still doesn't put shorts on.

It happened again today. I asked him to please throw on some shorts, and his response was, "You're killing me in my own house," but he did do it. They rely on us to help with our granddaughters, but I'm fed up with having to see him in his underwear. I also don't think he should go around that way around his 6-year-old stepdaughter and his 2-month-old daughter. What are your thoughts on this? -- HURTING EYES IN FLORIDA

DEAR HURTING EYES: Because you are doing your daughter and her husband the favor of looking after the grandkids, and you have let them know you prefer not seeing your son-in-law in his undies, your wishes should be respected. However, different families have different standards regarding attire around the house, and you shouldn't judge him for what he chooses to wear in the privacy of his home when you are not around.

DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter keeps asking me for a smartphone. I'm at a loss about who she would call besides me and her dad. She points out these different kids her age who have phones. They are the same kids I view as ones who will have no curfew, boyfriends at 12 and parents who aren't as involved as we are. At what age do you feel kids should have smartphones? -- INVOLVED PARENT

DEAR INVOLVED PARENT: I don't think there is a magic number, but your daughter is definitely too young to have one. Smartphones can be dangerous when they are used irresponsibly. A flip phone, perhaps, for her to contact you in case of emergencies, might be appropriate.

Because her friends have smartphones is not a valid reason for her to have one. Before that happens, you must be confident that it will be used responsibly, and that you and her father will be able to review its history.

DEAR ABBY: Could you help all of us guys named Shelby spread the word that Shelby is not just for the female gender? Many boys and men like me have the handle and are proud of it. -- SHELBY FROM TEXAS

DEAR SHELBY: So do some automobiles! I'm glad to relay your message. Today many women have names that were once associated only with the masculine gender -- Cameron, Bailey, Logan, Morgan, to name a few -- and turnabout is fair play. I'm reminded of the song "A Boy Named Sue."

DEAR ABBY: The winter months are hard for me. They remind me that another year has gone by without my father and my younger sister.

Dad had been a smoker since his teens and died from pancreatic cancer at 39. I was 13, and my siblings were younger. In those days, we didn't know that smoking was a risk factor for pancreatic cancer.

My sister smoked from the time she was 13. She died from lung cancer at 44, leaving behind two young sons.

Neither my father nor my sister got to experience the wonderful family milestones and celebrations we have had. Their grandchildren will never know them. Each year during the holidays, I feel a sadness in my heart.

I urge every smoker to make a vow to quit and carry it through, not only for their own sake but also their family's. Stay determined to quit so you won't cause your loved ones sadness and won't miss out on their futures. With all my heart, I wish smokers the best of luck in quitting. -- MISSING DAD AND SIS IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR MISSING: I'm glad you wrote because the American Cancer Society's annual Great American Smokeout will be held on Nov. 16. It's a day when millions of smokers put down their cigarettes -- just for one day -- with the conviction that if they can go 24 hours without one, then they can do it for 48 hours, 72 hours, and stop smoking for good. The idea grew out of a 1970 event in Randolph, Massachusetts, and became a national event in 1977.

Readers, I'm not going to harangue you with death threats. We are all aware of the grim statistics associated with cancer-related deaths caused by tobacco. If you're interested in quitting, this is a perfect opportunity. Call (800) 227-2345 to be connected with counseling services in your community, provided with self-help materials offering information and strategies on quitting for good, and to receive information about medications available to help you quit. This service is free and provided 24/7. Or go online to cancer.org.

DEAR ABBY: I need your help. Over the past few weeks, I have been vacationing at my mother-in-law's home. The other day I was browsing on her computer and accidentally opened her browsing history. It turns out that she regularly looks at and responds to Craigslist personals.

I was shocked when I read some of the perverted requests she has responded to. The language she used would make a sailor blush. Keep in mind, my mother-in-law is a married woman.

I don't know how to react. Should I tell my wife? Keep it to myself? Make a fake Craigslist post and catch her in the act? -- KINKS IN THE FAMILY

DEAR KINKS: If you disclose this to your wife, it could damage her relationship with her mother. If she tells her mother what you found, it will create a breach in the family. If you trap the woman by creating a fake Craigslist post and she realizes she has been made a fool of, it will not -- to put it mildly -- endear you to her. Let it lie.