DEAR ABBY: I missed the funeral of a long-time family friend, "Tom," because I foolishly relied on one of my relatives to let me know when the service was and she didn't. I had to go out of town two days after Tom died, but I should have called someone before I left so I could revise my travel plans. I was so sure my family would let me know.

Out of embarrassment, I compounded the mistake by not contacting Tom's sister when I returned two days later and realized I had missed everything. When I finally spoke with her, she was furious with me, for which I don't blame her. When I tried to explain, she misconstrued everything I tried to say and accused me of "just making excuses." She went on and on for so long I was shocked by how upset she was.

I'm not an important person to Tom's family even though he was special to me, so I'm not sure why she's so upset with me. I don't know what to do because the more I try to communicate, the more irrational she gets.

I'm mourning Tom, who was like an uncle to me, and I want to make it up to his family. He had been sick for a long time, so his death wasn't a surprise. I see some of his relatives quite often and I don't know how to approach them when I see them next. Any ideas? -- ANGUISHED IN NEW YORK

DEAR ANGUISHED: Attendance at funerals is not compulsory. Your reason for missing Tom's funeral was legitimate. Many people skip funerals because they prefer to remember the deceased as they were instead of in a coffin. Tom's sister is grieving for her brother and taking her pain out on you. What she said was out of line and you do not have to apologize further.

When you see the other family members, extend your condolences, tell them you were out of town at the time of his funeral and that you are sorry you were unable to be there to support them. Period.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 17 years has been cheating on me and is continuing to cheat. His older sister also cheated on her husband for many years with multiple men, so cheating must run in their DNA.

Because of our unhappy marriages, my brother-in-law and I began talking, sharing our pain and regret about marrying the wrong people. Because of our conversations we became friends and soulmates. We both have deep wounds no one else understands. Ultimately, we became physically attracted to each other.

Is it wrong that we are falling in love? Both of us want to be legitimately together, but at the same time we are afraid family around us will reject us. -- CHEATING FAMILY

DEAR CHEATING FAMILY: Why would the family around you reject you? What has happened is understandable. Surely the family is aware that both your spouses have cheated for years. I would, however, caution that it would be better for you two to avoid acting on your physical attraction until after you have both filed for divorce -- not only to protect each other's reputations but also because cheating does not run in your DNA.

DEAR ABBY: My physical attraction to my boyfriend has significantly diminished due to his baldness. I know this may seem shallow, but I have lost all interest in intimate contact with him. When I look at his bald head or he rests his head on my shoulder, it literally makes my stomach lurch!

Our romance began 20 years ago when he still had hair. It fell out two years ago. I still have feelings for him, but I don't know how to get past this. I have tried turning out the lights and even imagining I'm with somebody else. I'm sure other women feel the same way I do. He tries to conceal his baldness by doing the "flip over" thing with his side hair, so I know he's self-conscious about it. But I am so turned off.

Can you give me some advice? I haven't said anything because I don't want to offend him. I am upset and discouraged and no longer look forward to seeing him because of this. It would be an awful reason to leave him, yet I can't stand looking at his head! -- TURNED OFF IN CINCINNATI

DEAR TURNED OFF: Ask yourself whether you are turned off by your boyfriend's baldness, or whether it's his attempt to hide it with the unconvincing comb-over. If it's the latter, the solution might be for him to go the way of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson or Vin Diesel and shave his head. However, if you truly can't handle the fact that his locks have flown, then do him -- and yourself -- a favor and turn him loose so he can find a lady who appreciates him for what's going on under his scalp rather than over it.

Someone once said, "You can fool Mother Nature, but you can't fool Father Time." Aging, and the consequences it brings, happens to women as well as men. Keep that in mind as you consider jumping back into the dating pool.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 51-year-old married woman. I have a friend who is 68 and divorced. We have a great time together joking and laughing. However, lately I have noticed changes in her behavior that are alarming enough that I'm reconsidering our relationship.

An example: Today we went to a flea market and I watched her pick up and try on a ring. Then she pretended to return it, palmed the ring and slipped it into her pocket. I was shocked. I thought I was seeing things, but it happened a second time -- this time with a heart pendant. Next she stole a bottle of hand lotion, which were three for $1.

I know she has money, but she's also cheap. I am appalled by her behavior and don't know what to do. Do I tell her I caught her, or let it go and not shop with her again? I don't want to be associated with a thief. Help! -- NOT THE SAME IN THE EAST

DEAR NOT THE SAME: I, too, am concerned about what you saw, and no longer shopping with this friend is a good idea. Does she have children you can contact? Because these are "alarming changes" in the woman's personality, she may need a physical and neurological examination to make sure she's not seriously ill.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for three years and share custody of our 10-year-old daughter, who lives with me full time. Her father lives out of state and sees her during the summer months.

Last year my daughter had an incident (an "I'll show you mine, you show me yours" kind of thing) with a friend at school, and my ex and I decided they should no longer hang out after school alone anymore. A year has gone by, and because they're in the same social circle at school, my ex is refusing to allow her to go to any events this friend attends (birthdays, sleepovers), even though there is always adult supervision.

It makes me sad to see her miss out, and I understand that the incident is normal for kids that age. What can I do? Since she does not live with him, can I overrule? -- I'LL SHOW YOU MINE

DEAR I'LL SHOW YOU MINE: I'm sorry your ex-husband doesn't understand that sexual curiosity in children is normal, because it appears he has overreacted. You cannot dictate the rules in his household. However, while your daughter is living with you during the winter months, he cannot overrule your parenting decisions either.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 43-year-old woman who is trying to win back my high school sweetheart. He contacted me through Facebook seven years ago, and we've been talking off and on ever since.

I have never gotten over him, but he has had two bad past relationships and says he isn't ready for another one at this time. What can I do to let him know I haven't gotten over him since high school and that I'd love to try again?

Our relationship ended because my parents thought I was too young to have a boyfriend. I was 15 and he was 17. He says he would love to try again "one day" -- just not now. What are some things I could do to let him know, "Hey, I'm still here, and I want a second chance" without scaring him away? -- HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART IN FLORIDA

DEAR SWEETHEART: He knows you are "still here" and want a second chance. Because he still isn't ready to give a romance with you another try, face it -- the status quo could last indefinitely. You have devoted seven precious years to trying to sway him. It's time for you to move on. How he reacts as you begin to disengage will let you know if you have made the right decision.

DEAR ABBY: Since the last presidential election our oldest son has stopped communicating with us. He would text us, but his texts were so disrespectful and hurtful we had to block him from our phones. He's a grown man and we love him. What should we do? -- DISAPPOINTED PARENTS

DEAR PARENTS: The last presidential election has proved to be so divisive that it has ended friendships and caused rifts in some families. Blocking your son from your phones was a mistake. It would have been better to have just told him you would prefer not to discuss politics via text messages.

Until both sides can start listening respectfully to each other, healing and understanding will not happen. Unblock your phone and let your son know that he hurt your feelings, which is why you did it.