DEAR ABBY: I met this guy through a dating site. We began chatting and hit it off. We talk almost every day, and have Skyped a few times. We've been getting closer and closer. I really like him, and he has told me he feels the same.

The thing is, I'm not sure if he's telling me the truth. We live in different countries, and for all I know, he could have a girlfriend and be messing with me. I also don't know how to tell my parents. They don't support online dating, and they don't think I'm ready for a relationship. Please help me. I'm really confused. -- CHATTING FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY

DEAR CHATTING: It is hard to keep emotions in check and think clearly when the adrenaline is pumping and our hearts are beating a mile a minute.

Because you are a minor, you have to respect your parents' decisions until such time as they agree you're ready for a relationship. A way to earn their trust and prove that you are mature enough would be to be honest about what you are doing and thinking, rather than sneak around hoping to slip something by them. When that time comes, finding someone closer to home, somebody you can introduce to them in person will make your life easier. In the meantime, concentrate on school and the opportunities it provides.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of my husband's, "Eric," offered us a very generous wedding present. It was something we needed in our home, and he told us he would like to build it for us. Time went on, the project was delayed and my husband offered him numerous opportunities to back out. Each time the friend continued to support his offer. When it was finally finished, Eric admitted it had pushed him beyond capacity.

It has become obvious that Eric feels resentful, and now he's holding his generosity over my husband's head. He recently asked my husband to help with a project in his own home, and when my husband couldn't do it that week, the conflict came to a head.

My husband has reached out trying to explain that he wants to help his friend, but he needs to plan for it. We haven't heard back from Eric, and my husband is very sad. I'm good friends with Eric's wife, and this conflict has made it uncomfortable for us to see each other.

I want to mediate, but it's difficult to objectively step back and see where my husband has wronged and needs to make amends. I realize that nothing in life is black and white, and I need an unbiased perspective on how we can move forward. -- GOOD FRIENDS

DEAR GOOD FRIENDS: I agree that few things in life are black and white, but after reading your letter, I can't see how Eric was wronged. Your husband didn't refuse to help with the project; he just said he couldn't do it unless it was scheduled in advance.

I don't know why Eric is nursing a grudge and neither do you. Not all friendships last forever. That's why, if you are smart, you will refrain from inserting yourself in the middle of this.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a nice guy, but he's not particularly good at planning ahead. This means that special events, holidays and birthdays often go unmarked because he doesn't remember in time to get something sent.

In my parents' marriage, all family communications fell to my mom. It was her job to send the Christmas cards, birthday gifts for nieces and nephews and to remember her mother and her mother-in-law on Mother's Day. Our marriage is more egalitarian, and I don't want the job of communicator-in-chief.

My husband knows this and agrees that he should share some responsibility, but doesn't act on it, even after being reminded. I feel guilty when an important milestone in one of his parents' lives goes by and they receive no acknowledgement from our household. The source of my guilt is surely the nagging feeling that it's my job as the wife to make these connections and that I am judged when the things are not sent.

How do I let go of the guilt, or at least let my in-laws know I love them and their son is the one who is letting them down? I want absolution. -- NO CALENDAR GIRL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO CALENDAR GIRL: Not everyone excels at every task. That's why there is division of labor in partnerships, including marriage. If you think you will look better after explaining to your in-laws that the reason they haven't heard from the two of you is their son didn't remember, you are dreaming. Because you are better at planning ahead, deal with the chore. I'm sure he does things for you that are a pain in the neck (and even below). In this day of automation, sending "something" to relatives is practically a no-brainer. And it certainly beats feeling guilty because your husband isn't up to it.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their late 60s and suffer from multiple lifestyle-related illnesses. Although they had every opportunity to make healthy changes, they chose not to. I live on the other side of the country, and I am busy with my career and family.

I love my parents and accept our relationship for what it is. However, I do not feel obligated to disrupt my life and upset my children to be with them as they die slow, painful deaths. If their illnesses were not directly related to their own poor choices, I might feel and behave differently toward them. Knowing it won't change their behavior, should I tell them why I won't be with them for what appears will be prolonged and terrible deaths? -- SADDENED BY THEIR CHOICES

DEAR SADDENED: If your parents are as sick as you have indicated, they already feel terrible. I see nothing to be gained by adding emotional pain to their physical pain. Put aside your anger and find enough compassion to not say it unless asked directly.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 21 years, married for 17. We recently did a short sale on our home and moved to Texas. It was a professional move for my husband.

At first I was wowed; then I grew homesick for my family, my job and my friends. My husband was not supportive of my emotional needs.

Three years later, my husband has announced his engagement to another woman via the internet. He has been seeing her all this time, while financially supporting my household and saying, "Goodbye, I love you," at the end of our phone calls and texts.

Needless to say, I have filed for divorce. His "cupcake" doesn't know he's still married and has large debts from our relationship as well as this new one, so she's in for a big financial surprise.

In the meantime, we'll communicate amicably. I still love him. I want to expose him to her. I don't think she'd be making wedding plans if she knew he was still married. Should I let them figure it out for themselves or maybe spend my lifetime with regrets? -- HEAVY HEART, NO REGRETS

DEAR HEAVY HEART: If you want to do the cupcake a "favor" and expose your almost-ex, I can't stop you. But if you do, you can bet your divorce will be anything but amicable, and I have serious doubts that you'll achieve your goal.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is always grabbing me in a sexual way. I find it demeaning and annoying. When I ask him to stop, he says it's normal and I should be glad he's still interested in me. He says it's my job to "take care of my man," even if it means being awakened in the middle of the night. Is this normal? -- MANHANDLED IN GEORGIA

DEAR MANHANDLED: When a man approaches a woman in a sexual way, it is supposed to be pleasurable for both parties. If one of them asks the other to stop and the person doesn't, it becomes more of an assault than foreplay. It is not your "job" to have sex with your husband when he wakes you up in the middle of the night demanding it. That borders on coercion, and it is not "normal."

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother smokes, but not cigarettes. Recently, he has been taking a pipe to school. I'm the one who drives him to the bus stop every morning, and I've told him to leave it at home, but he refuses to listen to me. I'm worried he's going to get caught by the campus police, get kicked out of our very nice school and develop a criminal record. I can't tell our parents because that will do more harm than good, and I can't make him listen to me. What do I do? -- SMOKING MAD OLDER SISTER

DEAR SISTER: Ask yourself which will do your brother more good -- telling your parents what he has been up to so they can intervene, or remaining silent and letting him get kicked out of school for being stoned in class? Tell your parents!