DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I just moved in together. We have been a couple for seven years. Until now, we have lived with our parents.

I knew moving in would be a struggle for him because he's very close to his four siblings. Now that we've moved in, he calls and video chats with them every day, visits twice a week or more and has sleepovers. He also leaves work early to take his siblings on field trips or attend their sports events.

I'm finding it very frustrating being alone all the time. I have talked to him and expressed my feelings about the amount of time he spends with his family. In my opinion, it's excessive, especially since neither of his parents works.

He asked me to give him time to adjust, but it has already been a month. This is the man I want to marry one day, but I can't help but feel like I'm never put first. Please help! -- CONFOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFOUNDED: You and your boyfriend have been living together a grand total of one month. This is a period of adjustment for both of you. It's unrealistic to expect your boyfriend -- who appears to be tightly bound to his parents and siblings -- to instantly focus all his attention on you.

My advice, and I hope you will heed it, is to devote time to your own interests and activities so you won't be so dependent on him. Give it six months. If things haven't resolved in that amount of time, write me again.

DEAR ABBY: I am single, 33, and have two kids. I have dipped my toe in the dating pool without success. I am not lonely, but I find myself wanting a relationship.

When I tried dating websites, I got a mixed bag of colorful characters. When I do find someone I'm interested in, it fizzles out quickly.

We start out by messaging on the site, then we text each other. The problem I am having is that these men don't ask "get to know you questions" or keep up a conversation at all. If I don't text first or keep the conversation going, there's no communication at all. All of them state they want a relationship, but they don't put forth the effort. I'm not sure what the problem is.

Every time this happens, I forget about dating for a while, but it happens again and again. Have any sage advice for me? -- LOOKING IN NEBRASKA

DEAR LOOKING: You say you are messaging back and forth. After a few days of conversation, have you suggested getting together for a coffee date? It might provide an opportunity to find out more about these men. If you have done that and encountered resistance, it might suggest you are coming on too strong or they aren't quite as ready as they have advertised.

Because there is so much distraction and so much choice in online dating, perhaps you should consider meeting men the old-fashioned way -- through friends, relatives or social groups. Meeting someone special when one least expects it has been known to happen.

DEAR ABBY: I am at that age when most of my friends and colleagues are having children. I suffered a miscarriage (my first pregnancy) a few months ago, and I have been feeling depressed and helpless about the situation.

We are seeing a fertility specialist, so I am positive about our chances. However, when my husband and I are invited to attend functions with friends, I have been declining because one of his friends recently announced her pregnancy. I have become extremely withdrawn, jealous and anti-social. Is it normal for me to feel this way? I would love to be sociable and happy, but it's hard. -- BABY JEALOUS IN MARYLAND

DEAR BABY JEALOUS: It's normal to feel some jealousy when those around you seem to experience something easily that you are struggling with. However, to isolate yourself because of it is self-defeating.

It could help you to talk this through with a licensed therapist. You are not alone in having these feelings, and the therapist can give you tools to help you cope. Ask your fertility specialist for a referral. I'm sure you won't be the first patient to do that, and it might bring you comfort.

DEAR ABBY: My issue is related to celebrations with my in-laws. They are both retired.

At holiday time, we suggest that we pick up something to eat on the way, but they always tell us they already have stuff ready to cook. The problem is, we have gotten food poisoning in their home twice because of undercooked chicken. We have a 16-month-old son, and my in-laws are offended because we won't let him eat from their table and always bring his own food.

After the first bout, my husband asked them if they had a food thermometer. They said they did not, so we bought one for them. The second time -- on Easter -- was horrible.

My husband doesn't want to say anything to them because they are good to us and generous to our son. But I can't see myself ever eating at their house again. Help, please. What do we say to them? -- GRATEFUL, BUT ...

DEAR G.B.: What you say is that you and their son have gotten food poisoning twice at their house because of undercooked chicken. Twice is enough. From now on, invite them to your home for holiday dinners.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for more than 50 years to a man I love with my whole being. But for years I've heard people say about their spouse, "I love him dearly, but I am not in love with him."

Would you please explain what this means? What's the difference? -- JUST GOTTA ASK IN ARIZONA

DEAR JUST GOTTA: I think the phrase means different things to different people. To some it indicates that the excitement, those "fires of passion," may have cooled to a simmer and been slowly replaced by a calmer and deeper kind of affection. To others it may mean they weren't deeply in love in the first place.

DEAR ABBY: I dearly love my husband. We've been married 33 years. We have raised three productive citizens, have five beautiful grandchildren and live in the heartland of America.

Like most couples, we've had our ups and downs. My problem is my husband is a slob. He always has been, but it's getting worse.

He works. I stayed home and raised our kids and made the house a home. He brings home the bacon, does the yard work, takes out the trash and fixes things (on his own terms). I pay the bills, clean the house, cook dinner, and do anything else that needs doing (schedule doctor's appointments, etc.).

He thinks that because he doesn't beat me, we have a good marriage. I have a serious issue with his messiness. I am just about ready to chuck him to the door.

I've tried talking to him about it, but we always end up arguing. He says I treat him like a child (well ... truth be told, he's acting like one). I have explained to him why I need him to pick up after himself, but he takes it as a personal affront and storms off. I'm at my wits' end. What can I do to fix this? -- TIDY SPOUSE IN OHIO

DEAR TIDY: To be honest, I'm not sure that at this point you can "fix this." You and your husband have had an unwritten contract for 33 years, in which his job was to bring home the bacon, do yard work, take out the trash and fix things when he gets around to it. Yours was to perform the duties of a traditional housewife by doing all the things you described.

Your husband's sloppiness may be the legacy of a mother who never taught him to keep his room clean, and your own failure to put your foot down during the first years of your marriage. Of course, you could always stop picking up after him. But if you do, I'm afraid the mess will reach proportions you -- not he -- will be unable to tolerate.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old woman who has just learned that my first boyfriend, "John," was killed in a freak shooting accident shortly after he graduated from our high school more than 30 years ago. He was 18 and I was 16 when we dated. After graduation he moved away to attend college. John was killed when his friend dropped a rifle that discharged.

I have just learned that John's parents are alive and still live in the same home. Should I send some kind of sympathy card to them now? I truly cared for John and thought he had lost interest in me when I didn't hear from him any longer.

My mother says I shouldn't remind his parents of his death, but I think they'd like to know how fondly I remember him. What should I do? -- NEVER KNEW IN GEORGIA

DEAR NEVER KNEW: Write John's parents a short note telling them exactly what you told me. Do not worry about reminding them about their son's death. They are aware of it every single day, and I am sure that knowing you took the time to write will touch their hearts.