DEAR ABBY: My ex is a recovering drug addict. We have a 2-year-old son together. I realized he was using drugs when I was seven months pregnant and all our money was gone.
I stayed with him for a year after I learned about his addiction. That year was the hardest year of my life. Choosing to leave was extremely painful, and I still cry about it every day.
My ex was never the type of addict who nodded off, cheated or had other issues; if it hadn't been for the money disappearing, we would have had a perfect relationship. He finally went to rehab and seems to be doing well. He still goes to work at a great job, pays child support now and is involved with our son, who adores him. He wants us to get back together.
It has been more than a year since we separated -- and I hate to admit this, but I'm the happiest I have ever been. Abby, I feel guilty about it. Even though I love him, he broke me as a person with his lies, and I don't think I can ever trust him. I love my life with my son, and the thought of us living as a family in one house again makes me sick. I feel ashamed for not wanting to try, and these feelings are crippling.
I told him I want him to move on, but he says he will always love me and will never give up. Do I owe it to him -- and our child -- to try and work it out? -- HAPPIER WITHOUT HIM
DEAR HAPPIER: No, you do not. You are in charge of your life now, and if that gives you peace of mind and makes you happy, then you are under no moral or ethical obligation to change it.
Please remember that you are not responsible for your ex's happiness. You may always love each other, but that doesn't obligate you. If he wants to "never give up," that is his choice. If you want to move on with your life, that is your choice and your privilege.