DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I am pregnant with twins, and we already have a son together. His daughter lives with us as well.

With this pregnancy coming to term, I keep throwing hints to him about us becoming engaged, but he brushes them off. I know he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't want to pressure him into an engagement, but it's been three years, three kids and a stepchild, and I still don't have my ring!

I wouldn't even mind a long engagement. I just want to know we're headed in the direction of marriage. I want to know he wants the same things I want. An engagement is the only way I'll feel sure he plans on spending his future with me. Can you help? -- VERY PREGNANT IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR VERY PREGNANT: It should be dawning on you by now that a man who brushes off hints about becoming engaged isn't interested in a formal arrangement. I wish you had asked for my advice 10 months ago, because I would have urged you not to become pregnant again unless you were sure where the relationship was going.

From where I sit, it is going nowhere. There is no way anyone can help you push someone who is unwilling into marriage. What I can do is stress that should anything happen to him, you and the little ones will be left with nothing unless he makes a will that names you as beneficiary. When you discuss THAT with him, do not hint or allow him to brush you off, because the implications are very serious.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Marcie" is very attached to her dog, "Doodles." She had two. They were quite old, and one passed last year. It was traumatic for the entire family because we were concerned about Marcie's mental state. Now Doodles looks close to the end, and she's in a constant state of distress.

Marcie takes the dog with her everywhere, whether it's appropriate or not. When her in-laws invited her and her husband on a cruise next spring, she burst into tears at the thought of leaving Doodles for a week.

I'm beside myself with worry over my sister's mental state and afraid of what her dog's passing will bring. It's not just Doodles' age and declining health; Marcie has always let her animals run/ruin her life. Thousands of dollars have been spent replacing carpeting, wood floors, urine-stained curtains, rugs and furniture.

Any thoughts? How can she be prepared for what we all know is coming? -- TOO ATTACHED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TOO ATTACHED: If you think there is anything the family can do to prepare your sister, forget it. She will go through a period of grieving for the animal companion she has grown to love. To her, Doodles is a full-fledged family member.

When the inevitable happens, be patient, be understanding, be prepared to listen when she pours out her grief and, if necessary, go online to help her find a grief support group for people who are mourning the loss of a pet.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is dating a married man, and this is not the first time. While I love her, I don't think what she's doing is right.

This affair has been going on for years. I tried broaching the subject with her, but she said it's her business and unless I'm helping to pay her bills, I don't have the right to give my opinion. It's frustrating because she's driving all over the state with this man. She has two younger daughters at home and she's rarely home with them.

Our entire family dislikes her lover, but she insists on bringing him around "so we can get to know him." I don't want to judge her, but it's hard sometimes. Am I wrong for trying to give her my two cents, or should I mind my own business? -- DISAPPOINTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You have already given your mother your two cents and she has discounted it. It should be apparent to you by now that she has no intention of ending this relationship, regardless of your disapproval.

Rather than mind your own business, because you want to do something helpful, be as loving and supportive of your younger sisters as you can. From your description of your mother's behavior, they need love and attention from an adult they are not receiving from her.

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced 23 years ago. Before I started dating again, I got a hairpiece and have worn one ever since. Some people are aware that I wear a hairpiece, including my current wife of 20 years. It does make me look a lot younger.

I will be turning 55 this year. I'd like to stop wearing the hairpiece and shave my head instead because I have only a fringe of my own hair left. How should I go about it without getting 50,000 questions from friends and family, and what would be a good answer when I'm asked? -- HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

DEAR H.T.G.T.: Removing your hairpiece will be a statement in itself. Afterward, do not be surprised if you receive compliments about your new look. Should anyone ask why you decided to do it, tell the truth. Many men with receding hairlines shave their heads and look terrific.

DEAR ABBY: My son died two months ago. He was 51. It happened on my daughter's birthday. She says that her birthdays have now stopped.

Next year will be a milestone for her as she will be turning 50. How in the world do we celebrate her 50th birthday when we will be thinking about the one-year anniversary of her brother's death? Some friends suggested we have her birthday celebration a few days early, which I feel is not right. Please help. -- CAROLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR CAROLE: I'm sorry for the loss of your son. From now on, your daughter's birthday will likely always be bittersweet for her as well as you. That's why I think she should take your friends' suggestion and separate the two events, if possible. A small family get-together around the anniversary date of your son's death might be more appropriate for everyone, at least this time around.

DEAR ABBY: I am in an interracial relationship with a guy whose parents don't support our being together because I'm from a different race and culture than he is. Our countries of origin were antagonistic in the past.

When his parents tell him to break off relations with me, he listens patiently and defends his affection for me. He does not, however, really speak up for me or point out how unfair their prejudice is, given that they've never even met me.

This is my first interracial relationship. My parents don't have a problem with it. Is it too much to ask my boyfriend to speak up the next time his parents lecture him? -- UNDEFENDED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNDEFENDED: Not knowing your boyfriend, his parents or how they relate to one another, I can't judge whether he should challenge them any further than he is already. I think it would be a mistake for you to try to script him. You didn't mention how long you two have been involved, but if the relationship continues, they may -- at some point -- mellow.

DEAR ABBY: You and your readers may consider my problem trivial, but to me it's really irritating. My wife, who is in her early 60s, has the figure of a 40-year-old. She's a great lover, fabulous cook, wonderful mother to our four children and warms my heart when I see her enter the room.

The problem is, my teeth are spaced rather far apart, and food gets stuck between them. After every meal, I need to use a toothpick, yet she refuses to put toothpicks -- even in an attractive container -- on the table. She says they will just collect dust and are not pretty. On top of that, she refuses to allow a pill container for my vitamins or heart medicine.

I would never leave her over this, but what can I do with this stubborn, but otherwise wonderful woman? -- PICK-LESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PICK-LESS: Your nearly perfect wife may prefer that you pick your teeth somewhere other than at the table, and would like you to take your medications elsewhere as well. While it would be nice if she were more solicitous, you may have to appreciate her for the other fine qualities you mentioned, because it doesn't appear that she's going to budge to accommodate you.