DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I am pregnant with twins, and we already have a son together. His daughter lives with us as well.
With this pregnancy coming to term, I keep throwing hints to him about us becoming engaged, but he brushes them off. I know he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't want to pressure him into an engagement, but it's been three years, three kids and a stepchild, and I still don't have my ring!
I wouldn't even mind a long engagement. I just want to know we're headed in the direction of marriage. I want to know he wants the same things I want. An engagement is the only way I'll feel sure he plans on spending his future with me. Can you help? -- VERY PREGNANT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR VERY PREGNANT: It should be dawning on you by now that a man who brushes off hints about becoming engaged isn't interested in a formal arrangement. I wish you had asked for my advice 10 months ago, because I would have urged you not to become pregnant again unless you were sure where the relationship was going.
From where I sit, it is going nowhere. There is no way anyone can help you push someone who is unwilling into marriage. What I can do is stress that should anything happen to him, you and the little ones will be left with nothing unless he makes a will that names you as beneficiary. When you discuss THAT with him, do not hint or allow him to brush you off, because the implications are very serious.