DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I work out at the same gym. Over the past several months it has gotten back to me that one of the trainers, "Bob," has been talking negatively about me to some of the other members.

My boyfriend works out with another trainer there, and during his workout, I approached him and his trainer and expressed my anger about what Bob was doing. I said I was fed up and that I wanted to confront him.

My boyfriend told me to keep my mouth shut and say nothing. He said I shouldn't take it personally, that Bob is just being a hater. He also said the person who told me shouldn't have. I disagree. I don't think it matters how it got back to me -- it did!

Last week, while his regular trainer was away, my boyfriend trained with Bob! I feel it was disloyal, but he disagrees. He thinks I should just let it go. What do you think? -- GYM DILEMMA

DEAR GYM DILEMMA: Because the bad-mouthing has happened more than once, talk to the manager of the gym about what's going on. Bob may not like you, but that doesn't give him the right to make the gym an unpleasant place for clients to visit. If your boyfriend were loyal, he would have told Bob to knock it off. And he would not have worked out with him when his regular trainer was away; he would have chosen someone else.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law lives in another state, so she often mails my daughter's gifts to us after she buys the items online. Then she expects me to wrap them. The icing on the cake? She's now saying I need to add bows to these gifts, but she doesn't send any money for the wrapping paper or bows.

I think this is very rude. My daughter thinks her aunt takes the time to purchase these gifts, when she's only pressing a button and that is it. With everyone shopping online more and more, is this a new trend, to have the parents wrap gifts instead of the person giving them? -- ONLINE GIFT GIVING

DEAR ONLINE: It's only a trend if you decide to let it become one. Feeling as you do, it's time you had a discussion with your sister-in-law concerning how you feel about this arrangement and what you expect from her.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 55 years passed away five months ago and I am lonely. How long should I wait before establishing a relationship with another woman?

A certain lady and I go to church together, so we are well acquainted. I never thought about being with her until my wife died. She and my wife were friendly acquaintances.

What is the right time to wait? Six months? A year? I never thought I could be lonely. Well, think again! -- READY FOR THE FUTURE

DEAR READY: There's no timetable for grieving. If you feel you are ready for companionship, all you need to do is pick up the phone and call the lady you have in mind. To do that is not disrespectful to your late wife. It's a tribute to the happiness you experienced being part of a couple.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has been so-called friends with a man I'll call "Roy" for almost 30 years. During the 23 years I have been in the picture, I have noticed their friendship seems one-sided.

We hear from Roy only when he's down on his luck or needs help moving or lifting something. Last year he began dating someone new. He has had many girlfriends and we have not met a third of them. Since this courtship began, Roy has changed his number at least four times, and each time, my husband has had to call around to get his supposedly best friend's phone number.

Well, Roy proposed (for the first time ever) to this girlfriend. About a week later he texted my husband a photo of the ring with the caption: "She said yes, and you are the best man!" That was over a year ago. My husband still hasn't met the fiancee. But other friends of theirs have been invited on outings and met her during the year.

I feel Roy is using my husband because he knows he makes decent money and can come through to fund all the best man duties. I don't want my husband to keep playing the fool. Is this normal friend behavior? -- PROTECTIVE IN MISSOURI

DEAR PROTECTIVE: No, it's not. Your husband's "best friend" appears to be a user. From where I sit, he is being treated more as a reliable resource than a friend, let alone a "best" friend. However, after 30 years, your spouse may be so accustomed to it that he doesn't know the difference. How sad.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago I met the untouchable Ice Prince Charming and somehow managed to snatch him up a few months ago. But now that he has "defrosted" and we're starting to settle into a relationship, I'm realizing that my "prince" is a bit too charming.

This may sound nuts, but I'm getting sick from all the sugary sweet affection all the time, and I can't get him to answer anything for himself. It's always, "It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with you. It doesn't matter, you're better/your opinion is better. You're so great, amazing, cute, etc. Love you, our kids will be so cute, I wanna marry you, etc." And nothing else. He won't even let me compliment him.

We used to have intellectual arguments, dumb competitions, talk all night about fun things we wanted to do one day or just sit around and snark at each other when we weren't going at our sometimes separate hobbies. I know all every girl wants is her boyfriend to be sweet, so why does it bother me? Am I crazy? How do I get my best friend back? -- UNUSUAL JERSEY GIRL

DEAR JERSEY GIRL: Here's how. Tell him exactly what you have told me. He may be love drunk, but if that doesn't sober him up, then it may be time to find a prince who's less charming and better suited to you.

DEAR ABBY: I've been trying to declutter and get rid of things, but each time I do, my mother scolds me for getting rid of sentimental items and sends them back to my room. There are clothes that haven't fit me for years, old trinkets, even gift boxes she won't let me dispose of or donate. I would just take care of it myself, but she works from home and analyzes my every move.

Additionally, I've discovered that she has several dozen boxes filled to the brim with every childhood toy and article of clothing I ever had. She intends to pass them on to me when I give birth to kids "in the next four years." I'm only 19! Even if I were older, the idea that I'll be expected to take on all these possessions is a major deterrent to my ever having children. How do I tell her that enough is enough, and it's time for things to go? -- CLUTTERED COLLEGE STUDENT IN WYOMING

DEAR CLUTTERED: That your mother would set a deadline by which she expects you to have children is not only premature but, frankly, over the top. No one should decide that for you. (What would she do with your old clothes if you gave birth only to sons?)

You appear to have an unusually controlling mother. She may be sentimental about your things, or she may be a hoarder. By the age of 19, you should be mature enough to decide whether to keep items you no longer use. Tell your mom that you want to donate the items to people who actually need them. If that doesn't sway her, suggest she store your unwanted things in her space because you need to declutter yours. If she refuses, then it may be time to consider making other living arrangements.

DEAR ABBY: We are one of three couples who dine together at least once a week. We and one other couple are retired and on a fixed income. The third couple is also retired, but own many properties and have no money concerns. We like their company, but the wife is peculiar. She often hands strangers $50 bills when we're at a restaurant, simply because she thinks they are "nice" or on a first date, etc.

The other night we all had dinner together. When the server asked what she would like to drink, she inquired about how much the iced tea cost, and then said, "I'll just have water!" Then she asked the server to bring her a bunch of lemons, squeezed them into her water and added sugar! We were so embarrassed we wanted to crawl under the table. How should we handle this behavior in the future? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE DESERT

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Because the woman's behavior makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should dine with the couple less often. What she did by making her own lemonade should have had no effect on you because it was a reflection only on her. However, when someone is with friends who are on a fixed income and hands out $50 bills to perfect strangers -- assuming "Lady Bountiful" hasn't slipped a few cogs -- the natural assumption is that she's grandstanding. And that kind of behavior is rude and inconsiderate.