DEAR ABBY: I'm a 12-year-old boy with some generosity problems. When my neighborhood friends come to my house, I offer them some things (food, mostly) that are strictly off-limits, but it feels necessary.

Also, these friends bully me, and it's against the rules to play with them, but I want to, so I sneak out to do it. I know I'm not doing the right thing, but I can't help it. Can you help me? -- CAN'T SAY NO

DEAR CAN'T SAY NO: I'll try. But first, you will have to understand and accept that "friends" who bully and take advantage of you are not friends. Giving them things that are "strictly off-limits" may seem necessary, but it won't buy real friendship.

Believe it or not, your best friends are your parents. That's why it's important that you level with them about what has been going on. Ask them if they can help you get into after-school activities where you will meet nicer people who might like to be friends with you for no other reason than the fact that you are a nice person, too.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a problem with my dental hygienist, "Gloria." During my appointments, she engages me in conversation, which invariably lengthens the appointment from a half-hour to a whole hour. She giggles like a schoolgirl and stops multiple times during the cleaning to remove tools from my mouth so we can talk.

I don't want to be rude, but my appointments are on weekdays, and I need to get back to work. Occasionally, I have brought something to read, hoping it would keep Gloria from striking up a conversation, but it never works. I'm now considering changing dentists because I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with her. Please help. -- MIFFED IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR MIFFED: When you go to your next appointment, the first words out of your mouth should be to tell Gloria you don't have time to talk and must be out of there promptly in 30 minutes. If she can't comply, discuss it with your dentist so he/she can "remind" Gloria that her relationship with patients isn't personal, but professional, and discourage the small talk. The dental practice is a business, and if the situation is as you describe, Gloria could book twice as many patients as she's seeing now if she curtails the small talk.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has gained a significant amount of weight, which has changed his appearance. I have to admit I no longer find him attractive and have a hard time even kissing him. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I am turned off physically.

He wants to lose weight, but can't seem to find the motivation, even after visiting with a doctor and a dietician. What can I do when he approaches me for a kiss (or more)? -- ASHAMED IN ALABAMA

DEAR ASHAMED: Tell him what you have written to me. If that doesn't give him motivation, nothing will.

DEAR ABBY: My elderly father's dearest friend committed suicide yesterday. He shot himself in the head. The family wasn't even aware that he was depressed. Dad has lost three wonderful friends this way in recent years. He's heartbroken thinking that his buddies were secretly suffering.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, the rate of suicide for men 70 and older in the U.S. is more than double the overall suicide rate. Yet, with all of our suicide prevention efforts, this high-risk group seems to be ignored.

How can we help prevent these tragedies? What are the signs of depression in older men? And what can families do if they suspect depression in "Dad," "Gramps" or "Uncle John"? Thank you for any help you can provide. -- VAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR VAN: Please convey to your father how sorry I am for his loss. I think the first thing people have to remember is that men in general do not manifest depression the way women do because women are more open about sharing their feelings. Men, particularly older men, were not raised to do that because they were taught that expressing emotion was "weak," so they stay silent. And men who were once breadwinners, active and vital, can become depressed when they retire.

Among the RISK FACTORS are:

-- Having lost a wife or significant other;

-- Being alone and isolated;

-- Concern about being a burden;

-- Substance abuse (alcohol or prescription drugs);

-- Firearms in the house.

SIGNS TO LOOK FOR include:

-- Lack of energy;

-- Lack of motivation;

-- Less interest in eating or getting out of the house;

-- Loss of interest in activities the person once enjoyed.

A common mistake people make is thinking these things are happening because a person is old. If you observe a change in someone's behavior, it is all right to ask the person what's going on. Keep in mind that people who feel connected are less likely to harm themselves. Isolation is the enemy. Visit them, or take them out so they won't feel alone.

It's also important to help seniors meet others they can relate to, particularly if their friends are dying off. A senior center can provide a place to socialize and meet new people. Exercise is important, too, and many senior centers provide exercise facilities.

Equally important is volunteering. Older men are valuable assets to the community and should be encouraged to regard themselves that way. They have a lifetime of experience to offer, which should not be wasted. By helping these men get and stay connected, you could actually be saving a life.

A final thought: As people age, they often have physical problems that are associated with depression. (Heart disease is one.) If you need advice about how to approach someone about your worries, an excellent resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The toll-free number is 800-273-8255.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a wonderful woman for two years. She has a son in high school I'll call "Jon." Like many teens I see, he is constantly on his smartphone, his school-required tablet or playing video games on the TV in his bedroom.

On a recent vacation, I decided enough was enough. Jon had headphones on and was watching videos online while we were at a restaurant. His mother was on her cellphone as I sat there wondering how long I'd wait. Jon's grades have dropped and he doesn't sleep well. I can see he is so connected to his electronics that he's disconnected from people.

While I don't want to seem controlling, I now feel I have a vested interest in the boy. I care about him and see that the constant stimulation is affecting much of his life. I'm not sure he even knows how to make friends.

Should I push for his TV to be taken out of his room? His mother is excellent at setting her own boundaries, but because of her divorce, I think she's reluctant to set boundaries for him. -- NEEDS HELP IN CHICAGO

DEAR NEEDS HELP: If you haven't discussed your concerns with Jon's mother, you should, because they are valid. If his grades are suffering and he isn't getting enough rest, it's time for her to step up to the plate and start acting like a parent.

When the three of you are having a meal together, the electronics should be put away, and you and your girlfriend should make a point of including her son in the conversation. At his age, he should be informed about and have an opinion regarding current events. As to removing the television/gaming from his bedroom, his mother should warn him in advance that it will happen if his grades don't improve.

Interacting with others doesn't come naturally to everyone. Developing these skills takes practice. Learning to make eye contact, carry on a conversation and pick up on social cues are skills people learn in person, not by texting. This is a conversation I have had with more than one mental health expert, and it's something parents need to remember when interacting with their children.

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants to help in the kitchen with the dishes. Call me stupid to complain, but he is causing me more work, and I don't know what to do.

This is the second marriage for both of us, and I am trying hard to be a kinder, gentler wife. When my husband washes the dishes, pots and pans, he misses spots, sometimes lots of them. Also, he is impatient and doesn't want to wait the three minutes it takes for the hot water to get to the kitchen, so he washes in cold water.

I tell him I will take care of the dishes, but then he gets upset with me. How do I handle this without hurting his feelings or his pride? -- KINDER, GENTLER WIFE

DEAR K.G.W.: Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it that can hurt someone's feelings or pride. Tell your husband that you love him and know he wants to do this for you, but, respectfully, his "talents" lie elsewhere. Because he is willing to help, entrust him to the important task of doing the rinsing and/or drying.