DEAR ABBY: My mother has been a hospice volunteer for six months. I think that's great. The problem is, all she ever talks about anymore is the families and patients she helps. I'm tired of coming home from school or work and hearing about her latest patient's family drama or the details about how they died. My grandmother, who also lives with us, is burned out from it, too.

I have changed the subject or asked her politely several times not to continue telling me these stories, to no avail. I have also mentioned that it is a violation of HIPAA laws, but her answer is, "Not if I don't tell you their names, and you don't repeat these stories."

My boyfriend doesn't like to come over anymore because he thinks her stories are morbid. I even overheard Mom telling these stories to the yard man recently. Moving out is not an option, or I would already be gone. Help! -- TIRED OF MORBID STORIES

DEAR TIRED: Your mother is doing extremely stressful work. It's possible she needs to vent to relieve it. However, for her to repeatedly dump on you (and the gardener?!) is wrong.

That said, there's no law you have to listen, so if she persists, get up and leave the room. I agree that what she's doing is a violation of HIPAA, which could cost her her position, so suggest that if she needs to "de-stress," she should go jogging or buy a treadmill and do it that way, or keep a journal.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my mid-20s. I've done a lot in my life that I'm proud of. But one nagging issue I have is that I have never been in a relationship or even been kissed.

At first I felt proud of my independence and for not throwing myself into silly relationships. But as I see my friends enter new phases of their lives that I haven't experienced -- a first kiss, a significant other, love and marriage -- it's increasingly harder to not feel left behind.

I have a hard time talking to my friends about it because I don't want them to think of me as self-pitying. If the subject arises, I make a flippant comment and move on.

I have tried waiting for the other person to make the first move. I have also tried being bold and direct. I throw myself into work and hobbies. But when every song, TV show and movie fixates on romantic love, it's hard to not personalize it.

In addition to asking for your advice, I'd like to pose a question to your readers: Are any of you in the same boat? And if so, what do you do to cope? -- TRYING TO COPE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TRYING: It's time to talk frankly with your male and female friends and ask them for some honest input. I don't know whether you are simply a late bloomer -- many people are -- or whether you are trying too hard and sending out "desperate" signals that drive people away. But of this I am certain: You are not alone in this lonely boat. Readers?

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single 38-year-old woman. I haven't been in a relationship in more than 10 years because of school, work and kids. Lately, since I graduated, I have been on a string of blind dates. Men seem to want to hold my hand, touch my hair, stroke my arm, etc. right away. When I say I don't like it, they say they are "just being affectionate" because they like me.

I'm a cerebral person. I have fallen in love with men who are not conventionally attractive because they appealed to me intellectually. I have rejected handsome men because we weren't intellectually compatible. Until I feel some sort of rapport, I might as well be asexual. I am not turned on, and I do not want to be touched.

My dates, my friends and my family say this means I'm not ready for a relationship. What do you think? Is it unreasonable to want to feel a connection with someone before exchanging touches? What's the likelihood of success in courting when everyone keeps their hands to themselves in the beginning? -- NO TOUCHY, PLEASE

DEAR NO TOUCHY: I'm not sure I agree with your friends and family. A date may get the impression that you're not ready because the way you are delivering your message may come across as rejection. Try telling them exactly what you told me, that unless you feel an intellectual connection, being touched makes you uncomfortable. Most men appreciate a woman who expresses herself clearly about what she likes as well as what she doesn't.

DEAR ABBY: Several times now, my mother-in-law has given me cleaning supplies as gifts. I'm trying to decide how to interpret the gesture.

Is she hinting that she thinks our house is poorly kept? Is it that she enjoys buying new cleaning supplies and would also like to receive them as gifts? Or could it be a passive-aggressive dig at my decision to work full-time when she thinks I should be staying home keeping house? My husband and I share domestic responsibilities roughly evenly, and he's never received such gifts. -- MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS: Not knowing your mother-in-law, I can't guess at her motive for choosing the gifts she's giving you. If you want a straight answer to your question, you will have to find the courage to get it straight from the horse's mouth. She may buy in bulk and have supplies to spare.

However, a gift is thoughtful, and these products may come in handy. So be pleasant and appreciative when you thank her for them.

DEAR ABBY: Several times now, my mother-in-law has given me cleaning supplies as gifts. I'm trying to decide how to interpret the gesture.

Is she hinting that she thinks our house is poorly kept? Is it that she enjoys buying new cleaning supplies and would also like to receive them as gifts? Or could it be a passive-aggressive dig at my decision to work full-time when she thinks I should be staying home keeping house? My husband and I share domestic responsibilities roughly evenly, and he's never received such gifts. -- MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS: Not knowing your mother-in-law, I can't guess at her motive for choosing the gifts she's giving you. If you want a straight answer to your question, you will have to find the courage to get it straight from the horse's mouth. She may buy in bulk and have supplies to spare.

However, a gift is thoughtful, and these products may come in handy. So be pleasant and appreciative when you thank her for them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25. My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together. He lives eight hours away, so it means I'll be moving out of state.

I dread telling my parents because they haven't met him yet, and his work schedule hasn't allowed him to make the trip up here. (He can't drive at night.) The last time he was here was early in our relationship, and he thought it was too soon to meet my parents. Would a video chat introduction be all right? Any advice is welcome. -- MOVING ON IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MOVING ON: First impressions are important. A video chat would be better than nothing, I suppose. However, out of respect for your parents as well as respect for you, he should make the time to meet them in person -- preferably before you move in with him.

DEAR ABBY: We are from the Middle East. My younger brother married an American woman and moved to Arizona, where her family lives. Because our dad didn't approve, my brother made the plans behind our back and told Dad in an email. He also didn't mention that they were moving until a week before the wedding.

We have just found out from a friend that they're having a baby. They'll probably tell us after the baby is born. I have tried to get through to my brother that these secrets are not good for the relationship, but talking to him is frustrating. If they do give us the news after the baby is born, I no longer wish to speak to him. Is this OK? What should I do? -- FRUSTRATED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your brother and sister-in-law's silence likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way he and his wife felt about your father's disapproval of their marriage. They may have moved to Arizona because Arizona felt more welcoming than being close to your father did.

If possible, avoid the temptation to personalize the breach that has occurred. Try to keep the lines of communication open with your brother, because in the future it may be important. A card congratulating them on the birth of their baby would be a place to start.

DEAR ABBY: How does one tactfully deal with a super-sized guest? My husband can't travel anymore due to health issues. His brother and wife want to visit us. She weighs well over 400 pounds. My furniture probably won't hold her. To put it nicely, she is not "graceful."

We can rent a larger vehicle while they're here because she won't be able to fit in ours. I will have to pay someone to reinforce the bed in the guest room. We live in a rural area and there are no hotels nearby.

This is my husband's only living sibling, so at our age, who knows when we may ever see them again. Any suggestions? -- ONLY SIBLING

DEAR ONLY SIBLING: I do have one. Invest in a large, sturdy, comfortable chair that can accommodate your houseguest and guide her to it when she arrives.

DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter, "Rapunzel," is due for a haircut and always wanted to keep her hair long, which my husband and I have encouraged. That was until my mother moved in. Mother now says things to her like, "Don't you want short hair like mine?" and, "It's so much easier to take care of when it's short."

Now Rapunzel wants a short haircut, and my husband and I are irate. We let her dress however she wants, but this is where we draw the line. I know hair grows back, but we feel my mother has stepped out of line. Who is in the wrong? -- RAPUNZEL'S MOM

DEAR MOM: Did you discuss your displeasure with your mother the first time she started trying to persuade your daughter to cut her hair? If you did and she persisted, then she is in the wrong.