DEAR ABBY: I recently met a 28-year-old father of three I'm interested in. He seems wonderful. He's a hard worker, takes care of his responsibilities and is an amazing father to his children. They're all still very little, but they're great kids.

The only thing that's been on my mind lately is he has a lot of baggage. Those kids are from three different women. He gets along with all of them very well, to the point that they sometimes do stuff together with the children. They go out to places, or sometimes he invites them over to his place to swim in the pool.

I understand that he has to maintain a healthy relationship with his exes for the sake of the children, but I never thought it would be this "healthy." I have never experienced something like this. I appreciate him being upfront about everything, but I can't stop thinking about it. Am I overreacting? -- THREE'S COMPANY

DEAR THREE'S COMPANY: I don't think so. While I admire the man's devotion to his children -- not to mention his skilled diplomatic ability -- it does appear that he has a problem making a lasting commitment to a woman. Unless you would seriously consider joining this "harem," I urge you to religiously practice contraception. If you would like children in the future, it would be better to approach it with someone who isn't as marriage-phobic as this young man appears to be.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding after which the bride chose not to adopt her husband's last name. After the wedding we met them for dinner. When they strolled up to the restaurant to meet us, I happily exclaimed, "Oh, here come Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" after which I was quickly informed that I was wrong because the bride was keeping her maiden name.

Abby, even if a woman goes by her maiden name, is it so wrong to refer to her as "the Mrs."? -- STEPPED IN IT

DEAR STEPPED: Your mistake was an innocent one. Now that you know this couple is sensitive about their individual identities, address them by their names ("Linda" and "Robert") if you wish to maintain a social relationship.

DEAR ABBY: You and your mother have answered many sexual questions in your column over the years. Editors back in the '50s were more prudish about what could be published in family papers. Did your mother have to battle with dragons to print sexual questions from her readers? -- SONNY IN ALABAMA

DEAR SONNY: If she did, she didn't mention it to me. While I agree that editors back then -- and even now -- tend to be conservative, if they disapprove of a letter, they are free not to print it.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is in a long-term relationship. Throughout my teenage years, he raped me every chance he got. The emotional and physical abuse has left my life broken. Should I tell his girlfriend about it? I did confront him about it, but he just denied it. Wouldn't she want to know? -- SURVIVOR IN FLORIDA

DEAR SURVIVOR: Yes, you should tell his girlfriend about it! You should also tell every one of your relatives. Where were your parents when this was going on?

While it may be too late for the police to haul your brother off to prison, you should absolutely talk to a rape crisis counselor about what he did to you. To locate a resource near you, contact R.A.I.N.N. (rainn.org), the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. It may be able to help you put your life in order. Its toll-free phone number is 800-656-4673.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please remind your readers about proper service dog etiquette? My service dog has given me a new lease on life, but going out in public with him can be a huge source of anxiety. If your readers see a service dog in public, they should remember:

Don't pet the dog, or talk to it, and don't allow children to "rush" the dog. This distracts the service dog from its important job and could put a handler in danger.

Please don't question whether service dogs are or should be "allowed" somewhere. Handlers need to shop, take public transport and go to restaurants just like everyone else.

Do not ask invasive personal questions about the handler's health or abilities. I'm sure you wouldn't want a stranger prying into your own medical history.

And please don't gush about how "lucky" someone is to have a service dog or how you wish you could have your pet with you. Try mentally replacing the word "dog" with "wheelchair" or "oxygen tank" before you speak. Service dogs are not pets. For a lot of people they are lifelines.

Many of us are happy to speak with you about our dogs or answer questions, but please remember we are also people with individual comfort levels and limits, and we just want to enjoy public spaces like everyone else. -- NEW LEASE ON LIFE

DEAR NEW LEASE: Thank you for giving me the chance to remind readers about service dog etiquette. Many of us are animal lovers who have a hard time resisting the impulse to reach out when we see service dogs. It's done with the best of intentions, while forgetting that a dog wearing a vest may be working. I say "may" because, unfortunately, service vests that allow animals to be present in markets and restaurants can be ordered online by people with no disability at all.

DEAR ABBY: I've been in an extramarital relationship for 10 years. My husband knows, and so do my close friends.

I love this man dearly, but neither of us want it to be full-time. I have children at home and don't want to disrupt anything. We meet once or twice a week. He touches base with me several times a day, and is attentive where my husband never was.

My husband isn't bitter about the relationship anymore. However, my two closest friends continually say, "Well, why lie to yourself? You know you just say you don't want things full-time so you don't drive him away," which isn't true. We have a great thing -- we travel, we have long discussions, and I can open up to him without any repercussions, bouncing ideas and thoughts off of each other without judgment or criticism.

But I really don't want this to be full-time. I enjoy it like I enjoy a good book and a glass of wine -- not every day, but an indulgence and a pleasure. It also feels good to hear "I'm thinking of you" first thing every morning and the last thing every night. I am flattered.

It feels horrible that my two best friends can't understand that I give of myself to my community and my family and need something that is just for me. I have reached the point where I don't want to have these discussions with my friends anymore, so I avoid them. How can I get across to them that I'm fine and happy and content? -- JUST FOR ME

DEAR JUST: You say you are happy and content, and your husband is OK with the arrangement. Don't you think it's time you stopped trying to "sell" the concept of open marriage to your women friends? By now it should be clear that they do not understand. They probably never will. Most people don't. Let it lie!

DEAR ABBY: I am a first-time mom of a toddler. I suffer from (and am being treated for) anxiety issues.

Abby, I am having trouble finding the balance on gun safety and awareness in other people's homes -- especially if my daughter will be visiting. I grew up in a household where my father hunted and had guns in the house. However, he stored them safely in a locked cabinet and was the only one with access to the key. He also stored ammunition separately.

Where do I draw the line? Do I ask everyone whose house I'll be going to whether or not they have guns? What are the appropriate questions? Do I ask where they are stored and who has access? What else should I ask? Or should I mind my own business? I know the questions won't be appreciated by everyone because it will seem like I am questioning their judgment. -- FIRST-TIME MOM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FIRST-TIME MOM: If you start asking other parents whether they have guns in their homes and how they store them, your questions may be off-putting. Because you are concerned for your child's safety, why not offer to have the kids visit your house for playdates? I'm sure many of the parents will be glad to have some free time, and it shouldn't offend anyone.