DEAR ABBY: I'm in my late 20s and have a male companion who is 30-plus years older than I am. We were together for a while, then stopped so we could both try to find someone closer to our ages. Neither of us did, and we recently started seeing each other again.

Although we are good for each other and compatible in many ways, we are realistic that our relationship isn't long-term for major reasons. (I want children; he's happy with grandchildren. He wants to travel after retirement; I'm just starting my career.) We live for the moment and don't dwell too much on the future.

My problem is, this time I'm really falling in love with him. Last time, I was reluctant to become emotional because I was afraid of getting hurt. But this time, I am all in. Can any good come of this? We meet each other's relationship needs in the here and now, but is the end just heartbreak? -- LOVING FOR THE MOMENT

DEAR LOVING: It's time for you to start compiling a list of the pros and cons of this romance. You and this man are at different stages of life and have very different goals. If you really want to have a family and a career, you will have to sacrifice something for it, and that "something" may be devoting much more time to this man. Sorry, but something's gotta give.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my husband and I were walking down the sidewalk in our neighborhood and came across $160 in cash strewn all over the ground. We picked it up, and as we were doing so, our neighbor came outside. We knew her husband had just gotten home, and the money was near his car, so we asked if it might be his. We handed her the cash and told her to let us know.

Two weeks have gone by and no one has claimed it. Our neighbor still has it in her possession, and has mentioned in passing that we should spend it on toys for our kids or food/drinks at the next get-together.

While I think these are OK ideas, I'm a little bitter because my husband and I found the money, and I feel we should be the ones who get to keep it if no one comes forward to claim it. I don't want to damage the friendship we have with our neighbors, but I feel like we're losing a bit. What do you think? -- FINDERS KEEPERS

DEAR FINDERS KEEPERS: I think that before handing over the money, you should have had your neighbor ask her husband if he had lost any and how much. Because you didn't do that and they have the cash, perhaps you should "remind" her that "per her suggestion," you would love to spend some of it on toys for your kids, and ask for some or all of it back. If she's a good neighbor, she'll agree. If not, you will have learned an expensive lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend I always invite to attend parties and events. She invariably RSVPs accepting the invitation, but never shows up or explains her absence. This has been going on for years and it hurts my feelings. Do I have to keep inviting her? -- COLORADO HOSTESS

DEAR HOSTESS: Allow me to offer you some insight: The woman's behavior is extremely rude. "Good friends" do not treat each other this way. If you're asking my permission to scratch her off your guest list, you have it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife recently started a new yoga class she really likes. But I made the mistake of telling her that the instructor and I had dated briefly (had sex) when we were around 15. I am 50 now and my wife is 45. I was a promiscuous drunk when I was in high school and college. I have been sober now for 28 years, and we have been together for 22 years. I have not been with another woman since I met my wife.

Abby, she treats this situation as if I cheated on her yesterday, and this was 35 years ago! Also, after she recognized my wife's last name, the yoga instructor told my wife that I broke her heart back then. Help! -- HEARTBREAKER

DEAR HEARTBREAKER: You have gotten your life in order, and the yoga instructor appears to be doing well. That she's 50 and in good enough shape to be teaching yoga says a lot for her flexibility. Clearly, neither you nor your old high school classmate has been trying to slip anything past your wife. If she really feels threatened because of your long-past relationship with her teacher, she should roll up her mat and find another class.

DEAR ABBY: We have a lovely granddaughter who is about to be married to an excellent young man. She is sweet, kind, smart, hardworking, just out of college and everything you would want in a granddaughter. However, we are deeply concerned about her wedding, which will have a Wiccan theme, and they are both planning to change to a last name with Wiccan significance.

Although I'm not positive, I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually follow this religion, but rather regards it as an entertaining idea. As a Christian, I'm uncomfortable with the theme. Our only choices are to go and make the best of it, or to stay home and have everyone think we are narrow-minded old fuddy-duddies. What should we do? -- CHALLENGED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CHALLENGED: I'm glad you asked. Go, make the best of it, and refrain from making judgments about your lovely, high-achieving granddaughter's decision about her wedding. Her choice of wedding theme may or may not be a lark. However, if it isn't, Wicca is a peaceful religion. Wiccans do not practice black magic. She will still be the same lovely girl after the wedding as she was before.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law didn't get me a card or even wish me Happy Mother's Day on my very first one. We got together to celebrate, so I don't think she forgot. I thought we had a pretty good relationship, but now I'm not so sure.

Is there a nice way to ask her why she didn't get me a card or even say, "Happy Mother's Day"? I'd like to be able to apologize if she's harboring a grudge for some reason. -- NEW MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR NEW MOM: Sometimes it's not what you say, but the way you say it that can create tension. I suggest that when you approach your MIL about this, you do it with a smile and say, "I was surprised when you didn't wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Why was that?" Then listen.

DEAR ABBY: We have owned our house for 31 years and raised our kids here. They are grown now and have moved out. Several families across the street have come and gone.

The most recent owners have two kids, one in kindergarten and another in first grade. Every morning before school, the mom lets her kids run wild, screaming, yelling, riding their bikes and scooters unsupervised in the street from 7:45 to 8:30 a.m. My husband is retired and hears this every morning. He has a back injury and two hip replacements, so he doesn't sleep well and isn't an early riser.

Today he finally went over and asked her not to let them do this every morning. She, of course, became defensive and said she likes to let them play before school and thought 8 a.m. wasn't unreasonable. Not only are the kids loud, but cars often race up the road and it's dangerous. We were always out there watching our kids on this road, especially when they were that age.

Are we a couple of old fogies, or do you agree she is an irresponsible parent? -- UPSET IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UPSET: Playtime at 8 a.m. may not seem unreasonable, but it is to someone who has health and sleep problems. However, your neighbor has a right to let her children out to play before school. I wouldn't call you a couple of old fogies, but I would point out that after people reach a certain age, their needs can change. Try earplugs or double-paned bedroom windows. But if that doesn't help, it may be time to consider moving to a community for people over 55.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for five years. He's always been a jokester, which is OK, except for the way he does it. He knows what pushes my buttons, so his jokes are geared toward that. At first, I ignore it, but when he persists, I get mad. Then he accuses me of overreacting and calls me unreasonable for getting mad because he's "only joking."

If a husband knows what pushes your buttons and makes you yell at him (which I never did before I met him), isn't that playing with your emotions for his own entertainment? I'm not the only one he does this to. His daughter has been on the receiving end many times. He claims she's being unreasonable, too. I have asked him to stop, but he doesn't. It's affecting our relationship. I almost feel like he's gaslighting me. What say you, Abby? -- PUSHING MY BUTTONS

DEAR PUSHING: I say you are absolutely right. Your husband's behavior is emotionally abusive, not funny. It would be interesting to know how years of that kind of treatment have affected his daughter. The effects of a parent's ridicule can remain with a child into adulthood.

Because you haven't been able to get through to him, perhaps you should enlist the assistance of a licensed marriage counselor. If he refuses to go with you, you should go by yourself. And if nothing changes, ask yourself if this is how you are prepared to spend the rest of your life.