DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my sister mailed me a long letter detailing her resentment for me and our lack of closeness. She said she wanted to have a relationship. After reading it, I reached out to her and thanked her for her openness. I agreed that I, too, would like to be closer.

I am eight years older than she is, and we live in different states. Growing up, our mother didn't take time to foster our relationship. I'm now married and have a baby. She's going her way, too, beginning a new career.

Lately our relationship has become one-sided. I'm almost always the one to initiate a phone call or message, and when I do, she doesn't always respond. When we talk, I ask her about herself, and that seems to be the focus of conversation. Or we talk about my baby.

Our relationship doesn't feel genuine to me. I feel obligated to call her, but she doesn't reciprocate. Must I keep this up because we're family, or should I tell her how I feel in the hope that our relationship could become a two-way street? She's sensitive, and I'm worried that if I bring it up it will make things worse. -- STRUGGLING SISTER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR STRUGGLING SISTER: It's all right to tell your sister that when she doesn't respond to your calls or messages, it's hurtful. But rather than say you feel the relationship has become one-sided, which could be interpreted as a criticism of her, explain that you realize both of you are busy people. Then suggest the two of you agree to schedule a call every month or so to catch up. If she truly wants the relationship she requested, it shouldn't be too much of a burden for her.

DEAR ABBY: In reference to the letter from "Grossed Out in Florida" (Feb. 6) and your response, regarding people who blow their noses at the supper table, especially older people, you need to be more understanding. Many older adults suffer from what is called "gustatory rhinitis," or a runny nose brought on by eating hot or spicy foods.

These people exhibit a profuse, watery nasal discharge when eating that is made worse by emotions, alcohol, temperature and strong odors. It is not something they can control. And as much as most would prefer to leave the table to blow their noses, they would not be able to eat much if they had to keep leaving.

It is hard enough to get some elders to eat an adequate diet without insisting they excuse themselves every few minutes to blow their noses, and just "tiny dabs with a tissue" would be totally inadequate to control the flow. Please, folks, show some compassion and just look the other way. -- R.N. IN NAPERVILLE, ILL.

DEAR R.N.: Thank you for that useful information. I received numerous letters in response to that column from seniors mentioning "gustatory rhinorrhea" (along with allergies) as the reason they blow their noses at the dinner table. Not a day goes by that I don't receive a letter about nose-blowing, so I'm hoping your letter will educate readers on the subject, as it did me.

DEAR ABBY: I work as a runner in a law firm, which means I do pickups, make deliveries and do any other out-of-office tasks the lawyers or other staff need. Part of my job involves picking up lunch for the office.

Sometimes the office manager will give me cash from the firm account to pay, other times the lawyers give me money out of their pockets to cover it. Whenever I pick up and pay for these orders, the cashier/waiter is usually expecting a decent tip (especially when there are large orders). I am instructed to tip 10 percent -- no more.

Personally, I believe in being more generous because I know how poorly restaurant workers are paid. However, because the money is not mine, I must tip only what I am instructed to. Sometimes, depending on the order, this results in a very poor tip.

How can I let the cashier know that I would tip more if it were my money, but I can't because it's not? I know just saying "I would if I could" doesn't help them much. -- RUNNER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR RUNNER: Your bosses don't tip more than 10 percent because they are getting takeout, not table service. You should not feel embarrassed or apologize for them. If you are wise, you will say nothing, because to do otherwise will make it appear that you think your employers are cheap -- and word travels.

DEAR ABBY: I'm taking my son to a concert because he likes this artist. It's someone who probably won't ever perform here in south Texas again, but my new wife is giving me hell for going.

I'm always doing things with my wife and stepson anytime she wants me to take him along -- which is often. I rarely do anything with my son. Because I'm always working, I see him only every other weekend. It's our only time to bond. He will be 17 this year, and I don't know what will happen after he turns 18. -- BONDING IN TEXAS

DEAR BONDING: Draw a line in the sand. Do not allow your new wife to dictate your relationship with your son. He may be turning 18 next year, but age has nothing to do with it. He will always be your son. If you nurture the relationship and let him know that he is loved, it should last forever.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 30 years old and have been in love with my best friend since childhood. I'm afraid if I tell her how I feel, I'll lose our friendship. Should I take a chance and tell her? -- SHY LESBIAN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SHY LESBIAN: Yes, tell her how you feel. If that's the end of your friendship, it would be better for you than what you're experiencing now. If your friendship is strong, it should survive even if your romantic feelings are not reciprocated. If your friend doesn't share your feelings, you will then have to decide whether hurting inside the way you are is emotionally healthy for you.

DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and about to graduate from college. I have lived at home these last four years partly because my dad didn't want me to go away. He never said it, but he made up reasons to make me stay at home. I was 17 and being manipulated and controlled. I tried to explain to him that I wanted to go away to learn independence, but he said I wasn't mature enough.

Now that I am about to graduate, I have been offered a job with a company in California. I am afraid to tell my parents about the news. I know that it's my life, but my father is a master of psychological manipulation. I want to finally get away from my parents' strict controlling and financial strings and start a stress-free life of my own. How do I explain this without them manipulating me all over again? -- SOON TO BE A COLLEGE GRADUATE

DEAR GRADUATE: First, make up your mind that you are leaving. When you tell them, be sure to say how grateful you are for the love and support they have given you, but that you have been offered a job in the field for which you have studied and are now well-prepared enough to fly on your own.

Set a date to leave and do not allow yourself to be dissuaded, whether because of a guilt trip or any other manipulation. I'm not saying it will be emotionally easy, but for your own sake, you must do it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a single daughter in her early 30s. She's active in her church, goes out with friends and spends time with family. She's very attractive and has a wonderful personality.

Her siblings, cousins and friends are all married and most of them have children. She wants her own family and has tried the usual dating sites, but never gets any results.

I try to keep her spirits up. Her happiness is most important to me, not her marital status. How can I help her? I don't want to keep telling her the right one will come along when she wants a boyfriend now. -- SINGLE GIRL'S MOM IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOM: Your daughter should start by asking her siblings, cousins and friends why they think she's still single when she wants so much to be married. Could the solution be something as simple as tweaking her profile? It may be that she needs to expand her interests and activities so she'll be out in the community more than she is.

If her friends and co-workers aren't already aware, she should ask if they know someone nice who's unattached. Who knows? One of them might have a cousin. Professional organizations having to do with her field of employment can also be fertile ground for prospecting.

People who are visible and passionate about the activities they're involved in attract positive attention, which increases the likelihood of meeting someone eligible, or meeting someone who knows someone. When all is said and done, finding Mr. Right is usually a matter of luck and timing.