DEAR ABBY: I'm 36, doing very well in business, single and deeply in love with a 58-year-old woman. She has been a neighbor since I was in grade school. She's petite, pretty, intelligent, cheerful and looks my age.

My parents moved to Florida when I turned 27, and I bought their home just so I could be near her. On my 33rd birthday, I begged her to cook for me. We had dinner and too much wine and ended up in bed. We don't live together, and she often tells me to find a younger woman. I have tried to gift her a car, jewelry, etc., but she has refused them all.

Our families are against this. I'm going crazy trying to convince her I love her. When I told her I've loved her since middle school, she laughed. My parents say I am insane, though they love her dearly. Am I? Help, please. -- IN LOVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR IN LOVE: Insane? No. When people are in love, they sometimes think emotionally rather than rationally. The 22-year difference in your ages may be why your parents are calling you insane.

Rather than try to "buy" your neighbor's love with gifts, try to get her to tell you how she does feel about you and about what happened the night she cooked you dinner. If it was only because she had too much to drink, she may be embarrassed that things went as far as they did. If it was because the attraction is mutual, you should explain to her that while it may be unusual, these kinds of relationships can be successful if both parties are mature. Example: The president of France, Emmanuel Macron, and his first lady.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a full-time pet and livestock sitter. I work seven days a week, including holidays, sometimes for weeks at a time, in clients' homes caring for their animals. I have 40 years of care experience, and I'm recommended by every veterinarian in the area. I have worked very hard to build my reputation, and I charge reasonable prices.

On occasion, a client wants a "deal" and tries to bargain down my already reasonable fee. It is nearly always attorneys (who also look for a reason to be disappointed after the fact, but fail) or extremely wealthy people. I try hard not to show how insulting their request is, especially when someone's front gate costs more than my annual income. Sometimes I'll bend, but then I kick myself for doing it. (I am working hard to quit doing that.)

Why should it cost me money to care for someone else's animals and home? I need a polite, respectful and definite comeback to decline making deals. -- PET SITTER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PET SITTER: Try this: "I'm the best. My prices are firm. If you're looking for a bargain, hire someone else. Plenty of people will accept what you're offering. But remember, you get what you pay for."

DEAR ABBY: In the midst of planning my wedding, I got pregnant. My family wants to plan for a combination bridal/baby shower, but my mother thinks I should only have a baby shower because I will receive gifts at my wedding. What is your take on this? -- UNSURE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNSURE: I agree with your mother for the reason she gave you. You will need baby things in the near future. Your wedding will effectively be your wedding shower.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a pansexual female and open about it with my friend and also my brother. The rest of my family is super Christian. I tried to bring up the "gay" word, but they're all against it and have strong opinions about the subject.

I just want to feel accepted for who I am, and not keep anything from them. I need your opinion on when I should tell them -- or should I just not tell them at all? Your help would be appreciated. -- PANSEXUAL IN THE USA

DEAR PANSEXUAL: According to Wikipedia, the definition of pansexuality is "the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction toward people regardless of their sex or gender identity." While it may be empowering for you to disclose this information, it should be clear to you that your family -- with the exception of your brother -- is not open to hearing it. Respect that.

However, you are free to live your life, so live it and be happy. You do not need their approval and you shouldn't let their approval -- or lack thereof -- affect how you live.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I own a coloring business. We color unicorns and rainbows and other pictures. They are beautiful and sell well.

Recently, my mother-in-law started begging us to let her join our team. Abby, I'm sure she would do fine and that she could color within the lines, but we do not need any help.

My husband suggested hiring her to run errands -- to buy crayons and coloring books, perhaps -- but I doubt she would be satisfied with that. I love our company as it is now. What do you think we should do? -- COLORING FOR YOU

DEAR C.F.Y.: Because you love your company "as it is now," do not hire your mother-in-law to fill a job that doesn't need filling. To do so would be a recipe for disaster, because getting rid of her would cause lasting hard feelings. Instead, you and your husband should explain that "the company" doesn't need another colorist right now, and see if you can help her find a part-time job elsewhere if she needs money or has time to fill.

DEAR ABBY: We recently lost a beloved family member. My question is, how long do I wait before we deactivate his email and Facebook accounts? Some people say immediately, or wait a year. Others have said to leave them active indefinitely.

Do I need to send a message to his Facebook friends in advance? Also, would it be offensive or tacky if I downloaded pictures from his Facebook account and cellphone before we deactivate everything? There are some pictures of my nieces and nephews I would like to keep. -- HOW LONG DO I WAIT?

DEAR HOW LONG: There are no hard and fast rules covering a situation like this. Some people deactivate the accounts immediately. Others leave them live indefinitely. However, you might wish to post a comment to the effect that, "For those friends who might not know, our beloved 'Joe' passed away on (date of death)."

DEAR ABBY: My workplace, like many others, is "scent-free" because of the possibility that some employees might be chemically sensitive. We don't know of anyone with sensitivities, but it's company policy. I changed to using unscented laundry soap and stopped wearing perfume when the policy started.

The other day, a lady in my office came in and announced loudly that there was a "terrible perfume smell" in the corridor. After what I think was intrusive sniffing, she decided it was coming from me. I had showered that morning and the only things it could have been were my shampoo, hair spray or body soap. All are normal, everyday brands, not unusually perfumy ones.

There was a lot of complaining and a "reminder" of the policy. It's unlikely that HR would take this up, but am I obligated to change these products? I don't want to because this feels like it's going too far to dictate what soap I can use. I should be able to choose the basic products I put on my body.

I'm also unhappy with the "sniff police." What should I do if she does that again? -- PERFUME SMELL IN ST. PAUL

DEAR P.S.: If it happens again, go to HR and have them explain the policy. I suspect that what it refers to is perfume, which some people are allergic to. However, if it's for more than that, then I agree the policy is heavy-handed and needs to be clarified so that everyone can clearly understand it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was married before for 20 years. We have been married for 30 years. We get along great, except lately he has been bringing out his jewelry from his previous marriage. The items consist of a wedding ring, watch, etc.

He doesn't hide them. He shows them off to me. When I tell him how much this hurts me, he says they will be worth something in cash someday. If I bring a piece of jewelry out that I would like him to wear, he runs and gets a piece that his ex gave him, places them side by side and compares them!

I'm so mad I have stopped speaking to him, which makes him very upset and sometimes he cries. Please give us your advice. -- SILENT AND STEAMING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SILENT AND STEAMING: Unlike you, your husband obviously isn't sentimental about jewelry. If he likes it, he likes it, and he doesn't care where it came from. This would explain why he compares the items side by side, which is insensitive.

You need to discuss this with him at a time when you're not upset. Giving someone the silent treatment is not an effective way to communicate, nor is it a healthy way to solve problems.

The next time your husband says that "one day that jewelry will be worth something," ask him if he means after he dies or you do -- and suggest that now may be the time for him to sell it.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks for those men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- ABBY