DEAR ABBY: My workplace, like many others, is "scent-free" because of the possibility that some employees might be chemically sensitive. We don't know of anyone with sensitivities, but it's company policy. I changed to using unscented laundry soap and stopped wearing perfume when the policy started.

The other day, a lady in my office came in and announced loudly that there was a "terrible perfume smell" in the corridor. After what I think was intrusive sniffing, she decided it was coming from me. I had showered that morning and the only things it could have been were my shampoo, hair spray or body soap. All are normal, everyday brands, not unusually perfumy ones.

There was a lot of complaining and a "reminder" of the policy. It's unlikely that HR would take this up, but am I obligated to change these products? I don't want to because this feels like it's going too far to dictate what soap I can use. I should be able to choose the basic products I put on my body.

I'm also unhappy with the "sniff police." What should I do if she does that again? -- PERFUME SMELL IN ST. PAUL

DEAR P.S.: If it happens again, go to HR and have them explain the policy. I suspect that what it refers to is perfume, which some people are allergic to. However, if it's for more than that, then I agree the policy is heavy-handed and needs to be clarified so that everyone can clearly understand it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was married before for 20 years. We have been married for 30 years. We get along great, except lately he has been bringing out his jewelry from his previous marriage. The items consist of a wedding ring, watch, etc.

He doesn't hide them. He shows them off to me. When I tell him how much this hurts me, he says they will be worth something in cash someday. If I bring a piece of jewelry out that I would like him to wear, he runs and gets a piece that his ex gave him, places them side by side and compares them!

I'm so mad I have stopped speaking to him, which makes him very upset and sometimes he cries. Please give us your advice. -- SILENT AND STEAMING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SILENT AND STEAMING: Unlike you, your husband obviously isn't sentimental about jewelry. If he likes it, he likes it, and he doesn't care where it came from. This would explain why he compares the items side by side, which is insensitive.

You need to discuss this with him at a time when you're not upset. Giving someone the silent treatment is not an effective way to communicate, nor is it a healthy way to solve problems.

The next time your husband says that "one day that jewelry will be worth something," ask him if he means after he dies or you do -- and suggest that now may be the time for him to sell it.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks for those men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have a step tracker. I am dedicated to getting in at least 10,000 steps every day, most of them walking around inside my office building at lunch. I walk quickly, often with headphones on. My problem is, I'm constantly confronted by people who stop me wanting to chat.

I honestly don't have time to talk to these people because I need my steps. My exercise is important to me. Furthermore, lunchtime is my time to be alone and de-stress before returning to the workday.

I don't think I should have to leave the premises to walk. Staying in the building ensures that I have the entire hour to walk in air-conditioned comfort.

How can I politely tell these people I don't have time to talk? I've said, "Sorry. I need to get my steps!" only to get confused looks and questions about what I mean and how the tracking works, which sets me back by precious minutes. Any advice? -- GETTING TO STEPPING IN AUSTIN

DEAR GETTING: Yes. All you have to say is, "This is my time to exercise," and keep walking. Eventually, word will get around, and you'll have fewer interruptions. Your mistake may be in mentioning "10,000 steps."

DEAR ABBY: I never expected to be writing to you, but I am frustrated. My husband, who is a great guy, sniffles constantly. He gets very annoyed with me when I call it to his attention and says I should just get used to it.

He does it at home and in the car. He doesn't have a cold or a runny nose. I notice when we are out socially, he doesn't sniffle the entire time. I have tried to ignore it, but frankly it's the most irritating sound.

I read recently that there are three top irritating sounds, and sniffling is one of them. I showed the article to my husband, but he shrugged it off. I usually know how to handle situations, but I'm stumped with this one. Hope you don't think my letter is nothing to sniff at. -- MISERABLE IN MASS.

DEAR MISERABLE: If your husband hasn't discussed this with his doctor, he should. It's possible that he has a chronic sinus condition or allergies, and his problem could be easily corrected. It could also be a nervous habit. However, there is no chance that the sniffling will stop unless he's willing to seek treatment. I wish you luck in convincing him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old girl who is still a virgin. I haven't had a real kiss or dated, either. My mom and friends think it's because I read a lot of romance novels and imagine something like that happening to me. Are they right? Will I ever find love? -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: You probably will find love eventually. However, before you can do that, you will first have to spend less time reading and more time meeting men and making friends, and stop expecting them to live up to your fantasies.

DEAR ABBY: My mother raised my two nephews because of their parents' drug addiction. They are now adults (21 and 25). As a result of these circumstances, Mom was never able to be a fun, doting grandmother to her other grandchildren. My nephews needed stability, and I helped often. I lived three minutes away, so I, too, was an important adult in their lives while they were growing up.

I feel my children were robbed of an opportunity that others take for granted. Although they saw their grandmother regularly, she had little left for my kids and her other grandchildren. She was often tired and frustrated, and never took my kids to the park or baked cookies. It had to be a special occasion just for her to baby-sit.

She recently mentioned that when she passes away, she will leave more to the grandchildren she raised than to the others. I feel this is unfair. I expressed that she has other grandchildren and things should be divided equally among them. Am I wrong to feel this way? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LOOKING: I don't think so. However, your mother's assets are hers to dispose of as she wishes. While you and I might disagree with her reasoning, I don't think it should be allowed to become a bone of contention.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a guy, "Dustin," for 10 years. We lived together for two years and broke up, but then we got back together. Dustin lives with his mother and always has, except for two marriages that lasted eight years each.

I don't understand why he always goes home to his mother. When he stays the night with me, he has to go "check on her" the next morning. He stays at her house Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the time he's here with me, but before he goes to work, he has to go check on her.

Abby, there is nothing wrong with her. She drives, gardens, cooks and is very much on the go. Can you help me understand this? -- COMING IN SECOND IN TEXAS

DEAR COMING IN SECOND: I'll try. Dustin may feel the need to stop by to see if his mother is well, to change clothes before heading to work, or because he has always done it, and old habits die hard. He may also like the way his mom fixes breakfast.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old man who works hard at a full-time job and no longer lives with his parents. I've always been fairly independent and able to support myself without any problems.

When an unexpected expenditure came up, my family offered to help me pay for it and sent money. After debating it with myself for a few days, I accepted it. How can I reconcile taking their gracious gift when my independent nature was telling me not to? I don't want to come off as a mooch. -- OUT ON MY OWN IN PHILLY

DEAR OUT: Here's how: Remind yourself why you decided to accept the money, and realize that if your parents had considered you to be a "mooch," they wouldn't have volunteered to give it to you.