DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Ann," abruptly ended our friendship seven years ago and I still can't get over it. We were friends from the time we were in first grade until we were 48. We were inseparable as children; she was the maid of honor in my wedding; and though we've lived 3,000 miles apart for most of our adult lives, we maintained a close friendship through phone calls and yearly visits.

Then Ann got mad about something I said and stopped returning calls. Finally, when I asked her what was wrong, she emailed me that our friendship "wasn't working" for her and she "wished me well." Around the time she stopped talking to me, she also cut ties with two other friends, and a couple of years later, stopped talking to her father. So this is a pattern with her.

I have solid relationships with my husband, grown kids, co-workers and other friends. Still, I can't shake this sense of loss. I miss Ann and think of her every day. I need closure, but don't know how to get it. She won't return phone calls or emails.

Losing her makes me feel like every other relationship is at risk. I now live in fear of alienating or angering my other friends. How can I overcome these emotions and get on with my life? -- SUFFERING IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SUFFERING: You can get past this by scheduling some sessions with a therapist, or talking to your clergyperson. Surely by now you realize that Ann may have some issues. Please don't make them yours. Your other friends are not clones of this woman and are not likely to react in the extreme way she does. While counseling may not lessen your sense of loss, I hope it will give you a measure of peace of mind.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's "Great Aunt Sally" sent her a high school graduation card and check a year too early. Sally is her grandmother's sister on her dad's side. Her dad and I are no longer together, but I'm still friendly with his mother and aunt. Her dad is not the right person to handle this, so it's up to us.

We don't want to offend or embarrass Aunt Sally by returning the check. Should I have my daughter return it with a thank-you note explaining the error? Or should I have her keep it and send a thank-you note letting her aunt know that her thoughtfulness is appreciated? Since this lady has a great sense of humor, I'm leaning toward the latter, but I don't want to keep something that isn't yet earned. Help! -- MOM OF AN ALMOST-GRAD

DEAR MOM: A gracious thank-you note is, of course, in order. Your daughter should keep the card and the check, and mention in her note that she graduates next year, because if Aunt Sally hears it from another relative, she may wonder why your daughter didn't tell her herself. If Aunt Sally has the sense of humor you say she does, she will take the news in stride.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for almost five years, and my husband and I recently decided to try to have a baby. I am really excited about the possibility of being a mom. My problem is, my parents and his parents don't want to be grandparents.

I will be 30 this year, and they keep telling me I should wait until I'm 40 to have kids. I have endometriosis, and I know if I wait too long it will be even harder to get pregnant.

On top of all the pressure our families are putting me under, I just found out my sister has been married almost a year and hasn't told anyone. I don't want to disappoint our families or force something on them they are not ready for. I'm not sure what to do now. I want my husband and me to be happy. Any advice would be appreciated. -- STRESSED OUT IN OHIO

DEAR STRESSED: I know you want to be a good daughter, but you are allowing your parents (and in-laws) to weigh in on a decision that should be yours and your husband's alone. Your reason for not wanting to postpone motherhood makes sense.

Understand that not everyone wants to be a grandparent and be glad you're finding out upfront that the parents will not be baby-sitting. Many disappointed readers have written me after the fact to express their dismay when they realized it. Take from this the lesson that you must live your own life.

And, by the way, so should your sister. If there are consequences from her elopement, she should experience them. But under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be dragged into her drama.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband I love deeply and can't imagine my life without. We have a beautiful marriage. We never fight or really even argue.

We have been together for 11 years and only during the last couple of years has he started doing something that troubles me. In the afternoon or evening, if I need to go to the store -- or anywhere for that matter -- he gets upset and gives me the silent treatment and doesn't want me to go.

I trust him and let him do whatever he wants. I have never given him a reason to not trust me, so why does it make him so angry if I need to run to the store? I feel I deserve the same respect and trust that I show him. How do I make him see how much it hurts me for him to act like this? -- FEELING MISTRUSTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FEELING MISTRUSTED: What you are describing is a red flag that if ignored could ruin your beautiful marriage. Your husband's insecurity and need to control you may stem from the fact that he has been hiding something from you. Tell him that you love him, but for the sake of your marriage, the two of you should go to couples counseling.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jimmy," is 8. His father and I are divorced, and he is facing jail time. Jimmy sees him every other weekend. I'm planning on telling Jimmy the truth, although I'm sure his dad will want me to lie and say he needs to "work out of town" for a while, or something like that.

I know it will be hard for my boy to deal with. I also wonder what he should tell other people. I worry that if he tells his friends the truth (and they tell their parents), Jimmy might not be invited over to play quite as often, or kids will tease him. But I feel like it's sending a mixed message if I tell him it's OK to lie about this particular issue. How should I handle this? -- TO TELL THE TRUTH

DEAR TRUTH: Jimmy needs to know that his mother tells the truth. If you lie to him about this, or anything else for that matter, when he learns the truth -- as he will eventually -- he will start to question the veracity of everything you have told him. This is a lot for an 8-year-old to deal with, I know, but I vote for keeping the boy informed.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. I think I'm being too clingy, but he won't tell me if I am. He says when I ask for reassurance, it drives him away.

Every time we do anything remotely sexual, he tells me he feels guilty about it. He is sweet and caring. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have never been so in love. I don't want to lose him. What should I do? -- IN LOVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN LOVE: This may seem counterintuitive, but take a step back. Stop asking for reassurance. Because he says he feels guilty about doing anything remotely sexual, the next time he makes a move, be less willing. Tell him you don't want him to do anything that he will be sorry about later, and remind him what he said the last time. It may improve your relationship because, from your description, he appears to be immature and not ready for a romance.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is very ill and is preparing for the end. I feel bad for my spouse -- this will be a great loss. However, my mother-in-law and I have never been close. She has been very negative about me, mostly behind my back. I have tolerated her and complained only to my spouse.

When the end comes, I know many people will express sympathy for "my loss." I won't be feeling remorse, but a sense of relief. Is there a kind way of stating that it is not a sad time for me because of our strained relationship? -- THE END IS NEAR

DEAR END: Much as you might like to express those feelings publicly, I don't advise it. It would be inappropriate and reflect badly on you. If someone offers condolences, say, "Thank you, how kind of you," and keep the rest to yourself. If you do otherwise, you will be validating every bad thing that woman said behind your back.